Category Archives: Funny parenting stories

Spelling reality check

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You’ll note that after the word noisiest my daughter wrote “AKA Joe,” her little brother. Later she did the same next to “craziness.” I didn’t complain since both statements were accurate.

I went over my daughter’s weekly spelling words with her to be sure she knew their meanings. Most were easy, but some, like ascertain, required an explanation. Others I pointed to and asked, “Do you know what this word means?”

“Yes.”

“And this one?”

“Yes.”

“Let me tell you what this one means.”

“I know what cleanliness means!” she said.

“Based on the state of your room, I don’t think you do,” I countered.

She grinned sheepishly.

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Co-writing a novel

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Co-writing a novel

These two are writing a book together in a google doc. Because they can see what the other is typing, as she’s typing it, when one misspelled a word on her computer, the other corrected it on her own. Then the first wrote in the doc, “Show off,” and they both started laughing.

While they were washing dishes earlier, I heard them discussing what hair color to give a particular character.

“Red hair.”

“But James has red hair.”

“What about black?”

“Eww.”

I chimed in with, “How about strawberry blond?”

“Oooh, let’s do that,” said one.

“Yes,” agreed the other.

“You know why?” I said.

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Expert customer service

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In the check-out line at Costco, a young employee asked with a completely straight face:

“The item at the top of your cart–will that be to purchase or for return?”

“I didn’t realize returns were an option on those,” I said.

Again, with nary a mouth twitch, he said, “If you have the original receipt.”

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“Take turns fighting with your brother.”

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Yet another thing I didn’t expect I’d find myself saying to my kids. (Along with “Is anyone missing their snake head.”)

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While school was still in session, my daughters were having a hard time getting work done because their brother kept wanting to pool noodle light saber fight them. They tried to decline his invitation due to prior responsibilities, but he was having none of that schooling nonsense. Read the rest of this entry

Nap time for Mommy

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Out of energy, I flopped myself down on the couch. Of course, that’s about when my son woke up from his nap. One of the older children retrieved him from his crib, and he found me.

Rather than demand I get up and play with him, he gave me a stuffed kitten and laid his beloved blankie across my back.

“Should I read you a story?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” I said.

He grabbed the book, Dear Zoo, and read it quite well from memory.

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“Would you like a song now?” he asked. Read the rest of this entry

Kindergarten quotes

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When a boy ran by a kindergarten girl, she remarked, “That kid flew by like a bag of popcorn!”

Who knew popcorn could move so fast?

When asked what he would do with $100, one kindergartner said with glee, “I’d buy a Lamborghini, a new house, and an airplane!”

A quote from my (non-kindergarten) daughter that was pretty entertaining came when she stepped out of the van after a 30-minute drive to our hiking site, looked down at her feet, and said, “Awww, man.”

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If you give a kid some sunshine

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The neighborhood cat will take notice.

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Note cat paw in upper right corner.

If the neighborhood cat takes notice, he’ll want to become your cat.

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If the cat wants to become your cat, your kids will gladly accept.

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If you continue to leave your door open, a bird will fly inside. Read the rest of this entry

Pardon, puppy?

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Alphabet puppy looking so sweet and innocent.

Joe has a dog toy with alphabet buttons along its back. When you hit one of the letters, it says the letter name and gives an example of a word beginning with that letter.

For instance, if you hit the D you’d hear, “D, dog.”

If you hit two letters rapidly, you get odd results. Read the rest of this entry