Category Archives: Funny parenting stories

“I can’t wait until I’m a mom.”

Standard

That’s what my youngest daughter said when she saw me spoiling my dinner. In fact, all three girls stopped conversation to stare at me in the kitchen, while dinner cooked.

“Why?” I asked her, innocently.

“Because then I can eat candy whenever I want, too.”

Yep, pays to be the mom.

This morning I found this taped to the girls’ bedroom door. Read the rest of this entry

Advertisements

Monitoring the Monitor

Standard

Through the baby monitor, my husband and I heard Joseph wake up. I went to get him and said, “So, Joseph, what do you think of Daddy? He’s kind of funny looking, huh? But don’t worry. You get to leave when you’re 18. I’m stuck with him for life!”

My husband pushed the talk button on the receiving end Read the rest of this entry

How to bathe a baby boy in 25 easy steps

Standard

Step 1. Get water ready.

Step 2. Change and throw away poopy diaper.

Step 3. Return from depositing poopy diaper in diaper pail five feet away only to discover baby has pooped again ALREADY!

Step 4. Repeat steps 2-4, as needed.

Step 5. Remove baby’s clothing and carry to bathroom.

Step 6. Remove diaper, praying there’s no more poop in it. (If not, continue to step 7. If so, repeat steps 2–4, as needed.)

Step 7. Gently slide baby into bath water and begin bathing.

Step 8. Try not to show irritation as second youngest child enters room to “help.” Read the rest of this entry

I help Daddy!

Standard

My neighbor recently told me the story of when her husband was a boy, he saw his dad waxing his Porsche. Ever the helpful one, he decided to pitch in, only he didn’t grab a soft pad to wax with, he grabbed Read the rest of this entry

That’s my girl.

Standard

Middle Daughter is in 4th grade. A recent math assignment asked her to draw certain dots and make an observation about the pattern. Here’s the answer key:

L math2

4. (a) shows the pattern; (d) shows “Possible observations” that can be made: “Each group of dots can be divided into a square and a right triangle; the difference between the total number of dots in each pair of terms increases as the pattern continues.”

Here’s my daughter’s answer sheet: Read the rest of this entry

Momma kitty

Standard

My youngest loves cats and kittens. A recent visit to the library netted her this book, which became our bedtime “story.”

cat

Ridiculously cute, am I right?

For kicks and giggles, I was subtly adding words in my “reading voice.”

For instance (not a direct quote from the book): “Cats are fun and playful just like Momma.”

“Cats are beautiful and smart just like Momma.”

Then my husband walks in and says, Read the rest of this entry

A new hope… for a new generation of Star Wars fans

Standard

We took to the girls to school to watch Star Wars on the classroom’s big pull down screen because if you’re going to watch Star Wars for the first time, you can’t watch it on our tiny tv at home.

All they knew of Star Wars is what the Lego movies have taught them, which, while truly entertaining, just isn’t the same.
My husband and I decided it was time, so we brought them to his classroom under false pretenses. We distracted them with kids meals from Sonic (also a first) while hubs hooked his laptop up to the projector.
They were none the wiser until the iconic music began blaring from the classroom’s speakers. They looked up from their tater tots with wide eyes. Then hubs pulled the large screen down and the magic began.

Read the rest of this entry