Yet another thing I didn’t expect I’d find myself saying to my kids. (Along with “Is anyone missing their snake head.”)
While school was still in session, my daughters were having a hard time getting work done because their brother kept wanting to pool noodle light saber fight them. They tried to decline his invitation due to prior responsibilities, but he was having none of that schooling nonsense. Read the rest of this entry
Out of energy, I flopped myself down on the couch. Of course, that’s about when my son woke up from his nap. One of the older children retrieved him from his crib, and he found me.
Rather than demand I get up and play with him, he gave me a stuffed kitten and laid his beloved blankie across my back.
“Should I read you a story?” he asked.
“Yes, please,” I said.
He grabbed the book, Dear Zoo, and read it quite well from memory.
“Would you like a song now?” he asked. Read the rest of this entry
When a boy ran by a kindergarten girl, she remarked, “That kid flew by like a bag of popcorn!”
Who knew popcorn could move so fast?
When asked what he would do with $100, one kindergartner said with glee, “I’d buy a Lamborghini, a new house, and an airplane!”
A quote from my (non-kindergarten) daughter that was pretty entertaining came when she stepped out of the van after a 30-minute drive to our hiking site, looked down at her feet, and said, “Awww, man.”
The neighborhood cat will take notice.
If the neighborhood cat takes notice, he’ll want to become your cat.
If the cat wants to become your cat, your kids will gladly accept.
If you continue to leave your door open, a bird will fly inside. Read the rest of this entry
Joe has a dog toy with alphabet buttons along its back. When you hit one of the letters, it says the letter name and gives an example of a word beginning with that letter.
For instance, if you hit the D you’d hear, “D, dog.”
If you hit two letters rapidly, you get odd results. Read the rest of this entry
My younger two girls decided to dress as tourists, complete with hats, purses, and a camera. Interesting, I thought.
Then one gave me a bright smile and said, “We’re robbing a museum! We’ve got our ninja clothes on underneath.” She lifted her pant leg to show me her black pants. “We packed gloves to cover our fingerprints, and I’ve got ninja stars in my purse.”
The younger daughter pulled out a toy phone. “And I’ve got this to communicate with!”
They set toys up around the room to pretend to steal. Read the rest of this entry
When looking for a story to post this week, I checked my plethora of drafts where I’ve housed snippets of funny things to save for later.
So prepare yourself for a series disjointed stories while I clean up my draft folder. For instance: Read the rest of this entry
Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.
First of all, when and how did he learn this?!
I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”
Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”
Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.
When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”
My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”
Joe said, “You can eat them then.”
Joe loves going outside. The problem is, Read the rest of this entry
Every year we go to my brother and sister-in-law’s for the holiday. Every year we get stressed out and have the same conversation at a frenetic pace.
“We should’ve started the potatoes sooner. They’re not going to be done in time.”
“Where’s the box to carry the food?”
“The ham juice is going to leak when we drive down the hill.”
“What are we forgetting?”
“Did you grab the [fill in the blank]?”
“I think we have everything now. Kids, get in the car!”
“We should’ve left already!”
This year the insanity was punctuated by Read the rest of this entry