How to bathe a baby boy in 25 easy steps

Step 1. Get water ready.

Step 2. Change and throw away poopy diaper.

Step 3. Return from depositing poopy diaper in diaper pail five feet away only to discover baby has pooped again ALREADY!

Step 4. Repeat steps 2-4, as needed.

Step 5. Remove baby’s clothing and carry to bathroom.

Step 6. Remove diaper, praying there’s no more poop in it. (If not, continue to step 7. If so, repeat steps 2–4, as needed.)

Step 7. Gently slide baby into bath water and begin bathing.

Step 8. Try not to show irritation as second youngest child enters room to “help.”

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I help Daddy!

My neighbor recently told me the story of when her husband was a boy, he saw his dad waxing his Porsche. Ever the helpful one, he decided to pitch in, only he didn’t grab a soft pad to wax with, he grabbed

That’s my girl.

Middle Daughter is in 4th grade. A recent math assignment asked her to draw certain dots and make an observation about the pattern. Here’s the answer key:

4. (a) shows the pattern; (d) shows “Possible observations” that can be made: “Each group of dots can be divided into a square and a right triangle; the difference between the total number of dots in each pair of terms increases as the pattern continues.”

Here’s my daughter’s answer sheet:

WHAT did you just say?

My oldest daughter’s birthday was  yesterday. My parents gave her a set of little chicks. (Random? I know.)

Two are missing because they’re in need of repairs. Their wings fell off. I wonder how.

All three girls were playing with them for a bit when I heard my seven-year-old say something that sounded horribly suspicious.

“Here’s your (something starting with an f and ending with -king) chicks.”

Can I get that in writing?

My 6 year-old was whining about her math worksheet. Her older sister said, “You can do it. Mom said it’s easy.”

The 6 year-old replied with, “Yeah, but Mom’s good at everything.”

Clearly a child who

This is how we solve problems in our household

Observe:

“MOMMY! Paul won’t give me the big sticker!”

“Well, John, why don’t you suggest a solution? Maybe find out why he’s saving the big sticker, or maybe see if there’s another sticker he *would* give you, or maybe trade two of your little stickers for his big sticker. Could you try to work something out?”

“Ok…I will…
…PAUL!!! MOMMY SAYS YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE BIG STICKER!”

-from one of my favorite FB friends (Names have been changed.)

I could teach those ancients a thing or two

My seven-year-old was learning how the Romans borrowed the concept of the gods from the Greeks, but had changed the gods’ names. She noticed that many of them shared their names with planets.

My nine-year-old then ticked off the planet gods in order from the sun and even stated their Greek counterparts (because she’s a total nerd). Then she made an observation.