Category Archives: My funny husband

Birthday Bashing

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On my birthday, one of the girls asked for a bedtime story. So naturally I said, “Thirty-nine years ago today, the most wonderful mom in the world was born.”

My husband added: “And so was Betsy.”

(Reminiscent of the famous choosing a cat story, don’t ya think?)

Hubs texted me that day: “Do you have a cake?”

Me: “No.” I mean, if I had one, I’d have had to bake it myself. So, clearly no. Which was fine with me. Just show me to the nearest ice cream. But he said, “No wife of mine isn’t going to have a baked good on her birthday.”

He turned up after work with six mini fruit pies from Walmart. Fifty cents each.

Who says the romance is dead?

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You’ll note there are only five pies pictured. The sixth, an additional apple pie, was left out. That’s my husband’s favorite. He bought two of those. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

I leaned to the side so as not to mar the view of my single candle (to reflect the age I act) and my little “Happy Birthday” sign.

And I missed the Read the rest of this entry

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“Tell us a story!”

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My husband gets this from our girls frequently at bedtime, even though I just read to them and it’s past their bedtime. This is how he responded tonight. Read the rest of this entry

More husbandisms

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At 10:00 on Sunday mornings, the kids are supposed to get ready for church. My husband said to them, “Girls, it’s 10:00.”

No movement.

“You need to tell them what that means,” I said.

“Girls, it’s 10:00, which means the short hand is on the 10 and the long hand is on the 12.”

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Husband and I recently got to drive alone in our little red car instead of having to take the big van. I  was delighted to be in my old car again. I lovingly stroked the dash and reminded him, “This car is older than our marriage.” Read the rest of this entry

Good times with the husband

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Hubs and I got separated at Walmart. When we found each other again, we both had on a giant bear head hat.

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We’d come across the display separately, weighed the pros and cons of “who knows who’s had their head in this thing” vs. “gosh, it would be funny” and decided funny won. We saw each other, froze, and immediately cracked up. Read the rest of this entry

Monitoring the Monitor

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Through the baby monitor, my husband and I heard Joseph wake up. I went to get him and said, “So, Joseph, what do you think of Daddy? He’s kind of funny looking, huh? But don’t worry. You get to leave when you’re 18. I’m stuck with him for life!”

My husband pushed the talk button on the receiving end Read the rest of this entry

Have I mentioned my husband is funny?

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While lying in bed, exhausted, nauseous, and useless this first trimester, I said to my husband, “You know how in the movies when a woman is in labor she’s screaming, crushing her husband’s fingers and shouting, ‘You did this to me!'”

“Yes,” he replied with a healthy amount of caution.

“Just in case I’m too busy or I forget, I’ll say it now: You did this to me!”

He said, Read the rest of this entry