Tag Archives: funny kid stories

Not exactly a glass-half-full kind of kid

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My husband missed dinner because a work meeting ran long. As I was serving our youngest her food she said, “It feels like Dad died.”

“That’s a sad thing to say!”

She looked down, thought about it for a while, and then changed her statement to Read the rest of this entry

Whose kid is this?!

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My sweet, darling, adorable red-headed six-year-old, E, never ceases to astound me. But not always for good reason.

Here’s an exchange between her and her older sister, L, while they stirred up strawberry jello.

E: It’s blood.
L: No, it’s a flood.
E: It’s a flood of blood.
L: No, it’s a strawberry flood.
E: It’s a flood of strawberry blood.
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The joys of homeschooling

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I just came across this facebook post of mine from a couple years ago. It still cracks me up so I thought I’d share:

Phonics and spelling assessment for one child + math unit review for another = Momma gets to have a little a-d-d-i-t-i-o-n to her lemonade today!

vodka+ lemonade

= temporary relief from insanity

Remember, faithful readers, when my oldest came up with a handy excuse for her spelling mistakes, ala “a letter was missing because it wasn’t invited to the word party,” or the quotation marks were so low because “they had rocks in their boots”?

The latest came when the printer was running low on ink and the bottom halves of a few lines were faint to non-existent. My daughter said Read the rest of this entry

The little dears.

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Here are a couple of gems from my friends:

“Son: Mommy, does your name have any L’s like mine?
Mom: Let’s sound it out and see!
Son: Aim–ee… nope, no L’s.
Mom: Great job!
Son: So how about we call you “Lame-y”?
‪#‎middleschoolflashbacks‬
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Pardon?

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You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”

Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.

I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.

I said, “What?”

She said her thing again.

I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry

Ah, the silliness in this home

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Here are a few scattered stories I’ve been saving up.

The kids have an inflatable globe for school. I walked into the bathroom and found it on the floor. I picked it up and handed it back to them saying, “When I go to the bathroom, I don’t want the whole world watching.”

Can you guess where we live? The girls have made it easier to identify their home planet. I mean country.

Can you guess where we live? The girls have made it easier to identify their home planet. I mean country.

And for my readers from the land down under, here's what the world looks like to you.

And for my readers from the land down under, here’s what the world looks like for you.

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A good night for take out

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Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with a toddler can appreciate the joy that a few minutes of privacy can bring. Toddlers are with you always, with an endless stream of questions, many of which have obvious answers and didn’t need to be asked in the first place.

I had one of those days with my son, so when I went to the bathroom, I locked the door. I just wanted to tinkle in peace. But no sooner had I sat down when I heard the familiar: “Mommy, where are you?” followed by my son’s desperate attempt to open the door. I was so frustrated I couldn’t stand it. So when my son asked, “What you doing?” I replied,  Read the rest of this entry