I like to share our toddler’s accomplishments with my husband when he gets home from work. Sometimes I do so with audience participation.
Me: Hey, Joe-Joe, who went poop on the potty today?
Me: That’s right! And then who peed on the rug and Momma’s foot?
Apparently we need to rehearse before putting on the show for Daddy.
My sister eagerly shared this story with me, promising, “Here’s a story for your blog!” After I heard it, I paused. Finally I agreed. “Alright, sure,” I said.
I heard it, so now you have to read it. Here goes, in her words, roughly.
Bridget [three-years-old] had such a giant poop that it was nearly coming out of the kid potty. I had to call her father in to see it, it was so big. We agreed that it bore a striking resemblance to Read the rest of this entry
If you are still reading, then you can’t say I didn’t warn you. (Forgive me that there will be no pictures to illustrate this post.)
Ever since our youngest started using the potty many moons ago, her bowels have become a family affair. The older sisters love to see her creations, often assigning a shape and/or name. “Look, it’s an ‘L’!” Or “a snake!” Or “a G!” Once it was even called the great euphemism of “moonlight.” Your guess is as good as mine on that one.
But this one really took the … Well, you’ll see. Read the rest of this entry
When my son was nearing two-years-old, we decided it was time to start the process of potty training. The first step in this procedure was the “show and tell” portion. Well, my son decided the “show” part was pretty cool. In fact, he thought dad had a built in faucet, and that it was a good time to Read the rest of this entry
Before getting married and having children of my own, I lived in the garage of my brother and his family. When their third child was potty training there was a big celebration every time the boy used the potty. In addition to cheers and clapping, there were jelly beans! The good kind–Jelly Bellies that came in a huge tub from Costco. Not only did the boy doing the job get a bean, but his older sisters did, too. I suppose that was a good motivation for them to encourage their little brother to keep up the good work.
But the best part was, even though I wasn’t even in the house Read the rest of this entry
Tonight my three-year-old son said to me, “Momma, you’re nice. Thank you for wiping my butt. Yeah, because I can’t reach my butt, and you help me. You’re so Read the rest of this entry
In the morning I discovered my 22-month-old had unrolled all the toilet paper into the toilet, thus forcing me to reach in and pull the bulk of it out by hand so as not to clog the drain when flushed.
At nap time, I heard her calling from her room. She had stripped down to the skin. Poop was on her sheets, body, crib, blankets, and wall. All she had to say for herself was, Read the rest of this entry
The two most hateful, fearful, and odious words in the English language are: potty training.
Even though you’re not on TV or in a movie, you sometimes hear yourself saying, “It’s quiet….Tooooo quiet.” Read the rest of this entry
My son was so proud of himself when he learned how to potty train that one day, when he needed to go, while in the middle of a busy parking lot, Read the rest of this entry