Category Archives: Children humble us

Stylish hair gel

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Isn’t my son so stylish with his new spikey hair gel look?

Cool kid.

Nope. It’s just Read the rest of this entry

Eat with your fingers!

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Note: This marks the third installment of Things I Never Expected to Say to My Kids.*

Dearest darling Joseph decided one day that eating with his fingers, a childlike, yet acceptable thing to do given his age, was too grown-up for him.

So he dived in to his pasta directly with his face. Read the rest of this entry

They were being inconsiderate, really.

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Audience photo by Vlah Dumitru on Unsplash.

At the end of a school play (Pre-covid, obviously), when the audience was applauding, Joe kept saying something I couldn’t hear. Finally, when the crowd’s enthusiasm died down, he said, “They weren’t listening to me. They kept clapping.”

The nerve of some people.

He just watched me scrubbing a toilet, cleaning the shower, etc. and said, Read the rest of this entry

Pardon, puppy?

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Alphabet puppy looking so sweet and innocent.

Joe has a dog toy with alphabet buttons along its back. When you hit one of the letters, it says the letter name and gives an example of a word beginning with that letter.

For instance, if you hit the D you’d hear, “D, dog.”

If you hit two letters rapidly, you get odd results. Read the rest of this entry

Where are they learning this?!

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ninja-3620641_960_720My younger two girls decided to dress as tourists, complete with hats, purses, and a camera. Interesting, I thought.

Then one gave me a bright smile and said, “We’re robbing a museum! We’ve got our ninja clothes on underneath.” She lifted her pant leg to show me her black pants. “We packed gloves to cover our fingerprints, and I’ve got ninja stars in my purse.”

The younger daughter pulled out a toy phone. “And I’ve got this to communicate with!”

They set toys up around the room to pretend to steal. Read the rest of this entry

Blog clean up

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When looking for a story to post this week, I checked my plethora of drafts where I’ve housed snippets of funny things to save for later.

It’s later.

So prepare yourself for a series disjointed stories while I clean up my draft folder. For instance: Read the rest of this entry

My son thinks he’s SO clever

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Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.

First of all, when and how did he learn this?!

I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”

Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”

Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.

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Delicious looking plate of green beans. That I didn’t cook, hence looking delicious. Image by Vu DOAN from Pixabay

~~~

When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”

My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”

Joe said, “You can eat them then.”

~~~

Joe loves going outside. The problem is, Read the rest of this entry

Awful things my kids said this week

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Awful or awfully funny? You decide. Let me know in the comments.

We had guests over Sunday afternoon. One graciously explained to us about different phone plans. And providers. And phones themselves. And frequencies. And something about company buyouts. Plus a lot of numbers were being bandied about.

In other words, I was completely lost by about the third sentence. Maybe second.

Meanwhile, my children sat in the room with us listening patiently. Or so I thought.

When the dear fellow was finished downloading us with all this information, my youngest daughter said, “Finally. I wondered if he was breathing between words.”

I’m not sure if any of the adults in the room have laughed that hard in a long time.

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Queen of spades courtesy of pixabay.

Except perhaps when we were playing the card game Tripoli and another daughter, not well-versed in the various suit names, laid down “the queen of hoes.”

After drying our eyes on our sleeves, we informed her that it is actually called the queen of spades.

Of course we try to teach our children manners.

Little Joe asked me for a bagel.

“Did you say, please?” I asked him pointedly. Read the rest of this entry

Wrong answer

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I like to share our toddler’s accomplishments with my husband when he gets home from work. Sometimes I do so with audience participation.

Me: Hey, Joe-Joe, who went poop on the potty today?

Son: Joe-Joe!

Me: That’s right! And then who peed on the rug and Momma’s foot?

Son: Momma!

Apparently we need to rehearse before putting on the show for Daddy.

facepalm

 

Crazy things my kid said

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We visited my parents at their new home in New Mexico. It was definitely spacious and went beyond the needs of two people. Nonetheless, my darling seven-year-old announced: “Our house is much bigger. When we get home, I’m going to be like, ‘Our house is so nice!'”

Groan.

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On a walk in my parents’ ‘hood. So incredibly peaceful and quiet here.

Another time she said, “These eggs are delicious, Nagy Mama.” (Hungarian for grandma)

“Why, thank you!”

“Because I like things that are burnt.”

Facepalm!

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The view from their front yard. I got to watch the sun setting on these hills every night. Gorgeous!

Read the rest of this entry