Tag Archives: funny things kids say

The Predator Becomes the Prey

Standard

I found this story in my drafts folder from about two years ago!

raccoon

Raccoon photo courtesy of Pixabay.

We spotted a raccoon. In our yard.

Normally this would be met with a little excitement, mingled with a twinge of fear as in: Don’t let the kids get close; it could be rabid.

But tonight the sight meant: We have chickens! Get that b*stard out of here!

No one said that, of course. The children, after all. But Hubs and I were thinking it.

He grabbed a stick and chased after the raccoon, which jumped on the lattice fence. As it was crawling down the other side, Hubs jabbed the stick through a hole and got the racoon in its belly. It fell the remaining two feet and scurried off.

[If you love all creatures, great and small, including chicken killers, my apologies.]

“That will keep him away. But not for long,” Hubs said.

The children went on the offensive. Armed with sticks and a surprisingly functional  homemade bow and arrow, they kept guard, marching back and forth along the fence. Read the rest of this entry

If you give a child an empty wine box…

Standard

She’ll turn it into a holder for her princess dolls.

DSCN8245

Rather inventive, no?

A friend shared this story about her five-year-old daughter:

Daughter: “Mommy, tell me a secret.”
Mom (whispering): “I think you are sweet and funny.”
Daughter: “Now, I’ll tell you one… (whispering) Read the rest of this entry

My brilliant son

Standard

Joe pointed to my husband’s shirt hanging up on the clothes rack and said, “Dada.”

“That’s right, Joe. That’s Dada’s.”

Then he pointed to my husband’s sock and said, “Dada.”

Me, thoroughly impressed: “Yes, Dada’s.”

Then he pointed to Read the rest of this entry

This is how much my son loves me.

Standard

When he spills water on my pants, it looks like this.

DSCN5431

Heart-shaped water spot. It got fatter and wider while I called for someone to grab the camera. It was actually more distinct earlier on, but you get the idea.

The other day I heard him calling me from across the house, “Betttssyyyy…. Betttsssyyy….”

Yeah, and as if that weren’t bad enough, more recently, he opened the screen door from the outside, leaned in and yelled, Read the rest of this entry

The Chex Mix guy strikes again.

Standard

Twice actually. A few weeks ago, the 99c sale was on, calling me like a siren song. I hoped I’d see the CM guy so I could continue our funny banter. I was nearly disappointed until I saw him at the last check stand on my way out. (Click here and here for the first two encounters with the Chex Mix guy.)

“Hey, Chex Mix guy.” [I actually used his real name, but you know, privacy and all that.] When he looked up, I said, “Time to restock the Chex Mix again.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “Yeah, I knew it when I saw you come in.” [He probably didn’t see me come in.]

DSCN7796

My spoils.

Today I was back. He walked by as I was checking out. Read the rest of this entry

Crazy things my kid said

Standard

We visited my parents at their new home in New Mexico. It was definitely spacious and went beyond the needs of two people. Nonetheless, my darling seven-year-old announced: “Our house is much bigger. When we get home, I’m going to be like, ‘Our house is so nice!'”

Groan.

HPIM1419

On a walk in my parents’ ‘hood. So incredibly peaceful and quiet here.

Another time she said, “These eggs are delicious, Nagy Mama.” (Hungarian for grandma)

“Why, thank you!”

“Because I like things that are burnt.”

Facepalm!

HPIM1346

The view from their front yard. I got to watch the sun setting on these hills every night. Gorgeous!

Read the rest of this entry

As heard in a fourth grade classroom, part 3

Standard
From my friend, “Mrs. P.”
Me (to one of my boys who was absent yesterday): Hey Buddy, you feeling better? Or, wait… Were you sick yesterday?
Boy (sighs): Oh, yeah… gas problems…
Me: Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better…
Boy (shakes head, smiling):

Read the rest of this entry