(I know it’s cheesy, but I couldn’t resist.)
One night we were having tacos for dinner, but I didn’t have any lettuce. It’s a bummer to have tacos with no lettuce in my book.
When I heard my husband come home from work, I called out, “Did you happen to bring home any lettuce?”
You know, the leafy green stuff? Yeah, this.
It was truly the most random question.
When I walked over to him, I expected to find him confused, ala, “Uh-oh, did she ask me to pick up lettuce on the way home? I don’t remember that.”
Instead he was shocked. Read the rest of this entry
You know how there’s a point in children’s lives when they realize their parents don’t know everything?
My kids think they reached that point the other day. Read the rest of this entry
I just witnessed my seven-year-old set her armload of stuffed animals down in the hallway before entering the bathroom. She said to them, “Wait right here for me.”
This isn’t Ribbity, but his big sister Catherine. I guess you could say I’m feeding the frog addiction. I can never let her eat at a fancy French restaurant. It would be too traumatizing.
My ten-year-old wanted to restuff her frog, Ribbity. I told her, “Unless there’s a hole in him already, I’ll have to open him up.” She said, in a pained voice, “If you do, I don’t want to watch.”
I performed the operation in a separate room while she alternately sat and paced, biting her nails, in the “waiting room.”
At last Ribbity’s operation was complete: restuffed, restitched, and looking like he’d consumed a bottle of steroids. My daughter was teary-eyed with relief. Read the rest of this entry
I walked past my girls’ bedroom and saw various toys, clothes, and other items strewn about.
“Wow. You’re making a quite a mess in your room,” I commented casually.
Without hesitation, my five year old replied, Read the rest of this entry
My friend Anita shared this:
Last week my youngest two children discovered a fly in the house. Pure terror! One screamed her head off as it landed on her head. Every time it flew by they screamed and cried. I quickly reassured them that he was friendly, his name is George and he is our new pet. Problem solved! Now they look for him, share their food with him and protect him from potential dangers (like Daddy’s swatting dish towel). Not looking forward to the day he disappears.”
I was surprised to find so many people posting on Facebook that Kate Middleton had a baby girl. Do we really care? Although one mom had a great take on the whole thing. Read the rest of this entry
I’d been wanting to cut my hair for a while. The words of an old college chum still haunt me when my hair gets to a certain length: “You have a long face, so when your hair is long, too, it draws your face out more and makes you look like a horse.” Sadly, it seems like my face has only gotten longer with age. So, when my hair gets long, too, I look in the mirror and frequently see Weird Al Yankovic staring back at me, only not being funny and entertaining.
So, the hair had to go. I took a shower one morning and, seeing my hair already damp and straight, decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed the hair cutting scissors and was determined. But I hit a snag. Looking in the mirror and operating scissors, or just operating scissors when they’re turned back toward your head is harder than it looks in the movies. I was sure I’d end up cutting at a sharp angle by mistake. So, I called in my daughter. Read the rest of this entry
I rarely visit the PIF facebook page. I know my stuff goes there automatically, and I do nothing more with it. Admittedly, this is probably a bad thing. So today I decided to at least look at the page and was accosted by the large dark gray banner at the top, the one I’m supposed to cover up with a photo. Sigh. I guess I’d better finally do that, I thought.
So I scanned our most recent photos and came across ones from our trip to the Natural History Museum over spring break. The experience for a parent, I soon realized, was not so much about seeing the exhibits as it was keeping the kids corralled. It was all about them. They are so selfish.
It was difficult to impossible to keep them all together, so my husband and I were on zone defense, frequently making eye contact across the semi-crowded rooms and holding up either one or two fingers to indicate how many children we had within close proximity. So long as we both knew how to count to three, we were okay. Read the rest of this entry