Pardon, puppy?

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Alphabet puppy looking so sweet and innocent.

Joe has a dog toy with alphabet buttons along its back. When you hit one of the letters, it says the letter name and gives an example of a word beginning with that letter.

For instance, if you hit the D you’d hear, “D, dog.”

If you hit two letters rapidly, you get odd results. Read the rest of this entry

Where are they learning this?!

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ninja-3620641_960_720My younger two girls decided to dress as tourists, complete with hats, purses, and a camera. Interesting, I thought.

Then one gave me a bright smile and said, “We’re robbing a museum! We’ve got our ninja clothes on underneath.” She lifted her pant leg to show me her black pants. “We packed gloves to cover our fingerprints, and I’ve got ninja stars in my purse.”

The younger daughter pulled out a toy phone. “And I’ve got this to communicate with!”

They set toys up around the room to pretend to steal. Read the rest of this entry

Blog clean up

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When looking for a story to post this week, I checked my plethora of drafts where I’ve housed snippets of funny things to save for later.

It’s later.

So prepare yourself for a series disjointed stories while I clean up my draft folder. For instance: Read the rest of this entry

Back by popular demand

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Many of you were disheartened by the thought of never again hearing stories of the Chex Mix Guy (CMG). Your comments on that last post were quite entertaining and endearing. For instance:

“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”

“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”

“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”

And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”

Happy chex mix

Happy Chex Mix

Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)

Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.

I didn’t care. Normally I would care, but with this guy, I didn’t care. Read the rest of this entry

My son thinks he’s SO clever

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Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.

First of all, when and how did he learn this?!

I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”

Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”

Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.

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Delicious looking plate of green beans. That I didn’t cook, hence looking delicious. Image by Vu DOAN from Pixabay

~~~

When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”

My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”

Joe said, “You can eat them then.”

~~~

Joe loves going outside. The problem is, Read the rest of this entry

The Chex Mix meets its end

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I recently started taking Chex Mix with me to parties–a sure fire way of being invited back. Since there were a lot of parties for the holidays, I ran out and hit my local store to replenish my supplies. The Chex Mix Guy (CMG) had ordered a box of both Cheddar and Honey Nut for me back in October, housing them in his office, while I slowly chipped away at them.

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Crying Chex Mix

Amidst the regular shopping I did first, I glanced down at the Chex Mix shelf and saw, amongst the black and blue of Bold and Boring (aka Traditional) the golden hues of my sacred flavors.

Betrayal!

I marched to the customer service desk and asked the lady to call CMG’s office. She got him on the phone and relayed the message: “A customer wants to know if you put out all of her Chex Mix.”

Here I’m grinning stupidly, thinking this must be one of the most bizarre statements this woman has ever made. That, and I’m imagining what CMG’s reaction must be.

After a pause, she says, “Okay,” hangs up, and tells me, “He’ll be right down.” Read the rest of this entry

This is why you always leave a note

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Every year we go to my brother and sister-in-law’s for the holiday. Every year we get stressed out and have the same conversation at a frenetic pace.

“We should’ve started the potatoes sooner. They’re not going to be done in time.”

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Thanks for the pic Pixabay.

“Where’s the box to carry the food?”

“The ham juice is going to leak when we drive down the hill.”

“What are we forgetting?”

“Did you grab the [fill in the blank]?”

“I think we have everything now. Kids, get in the car!”

“We should’ve left already!”

This year the insanity was punctuated by Read the rest of this entry