This is what happens when I shop without my husband.

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I get silly and perhaps slightly whimsical with my children and buy junk like this:

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It was cute and only $2. That should’ve been my first clue. It works as well as any $2 potato peeler would, that is, not at all. But, at least it was only $2!

And also this: Read the rest of this entry

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The story of the Chex Mix guy

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Chex Mix is delish. I especially like the cheddar flavor. And let’s not forget Turtle Chex with its chocolately goodness. So when the CM, as the cool kids call it*, goes on sale, I pounce.

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[*No one calls it this. Definitely NOT cool kids anyway.]

The grocery store advertised Chex Mix for $1.99 for the Family Size bags. I was all over that. But the only bags on the shelf were of the smaller size, NOT on sale, for something absurd like $3.99.

Umm, no.

However, there was no Family Size to be found. A worker looked everywhere and confirmed this.

I said, “So I’m not crazy.”

He said, “Well, we’ve established that you’re right about the Chex Mix, but that doesn’t prove you aren’t crazy.”

I was rather shocked, first of all by his wit, which made me LOL, and secondly that a comment like that was “allowed.” Doesn’t it fly in the face of “the customer is always right” mentality? I didn’t mind of course, as I love a good laugh.

His solution to my dilemma was to sell me two of the smaller 8 oz. bags at the cost of the as-advertised-but-nowhere-in-sight 15 oz. bags.

I grabbed 12.

At check-out, Read the rest of this entry

And she’s back!

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Did you miss me? Don’t answer that.

Did you notice I was gone?

Don’t answer that, either.

Remember months ago when I said I needed to take a blog break to work on my book? That didn’t really end up happening. I just couldn’t stay away. August 31 was my deadline, however, so I used this last month to really knuckle down. And it’s done! Hooray!

There are few things more stressful than hitting the send button when turning in a manuscript.

I’m excited about this book. It was originally “If You Keep Perfectly Still, Maybe They Won’t See You,” eliciting the image of being stalked by a T-Rex. The first Jurassic Park film taught us Tyranosaurs have poor eyesight, but see movement. It was an instructional film. The publisher felt that title was too long, however. Now we have: Be a Happier Parent or Laugh Trying.

I guess that works, too, even if it contains no practical wisdom for T-Rex attacks. Read the rest of this entry

The ants go marching 50 by 50. Hurrah! Hurrah!

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We were gone for a week. In our absence, half the ants in California moved in. With complete disregard for squatters’ rights, we annihilated (ant-ihilated?) them.

There were concentrations in the usual places with a few scouts checking out the living arrangements in other rooms. When I changed Joe’s diaper, one climbed in. I removed it, not knowing for whom the situation was worse: Joe for having a literal ant in his pants, or the ant itself, considering Joe had soiled four diapers that day and appeared to be on a roll.

The most curious and concerning area of discovery was our freezer. The integrity of our door closing system is clearly suspect. The ants didn’t get far, however. I discovered them splayed across a package of frozen chicken near their apparent entrance. The silly creatures ventured forth across a frozen fowl tundra with nary a jacket. Read the rest of this entry

The hidden glamorous side of motherhood

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My friend with three sons posted this on facebook:

Life as the Activities Director at Camp Mommy is seldom dull. Overheard this morning:

Boy 1 – “What should we do?”

Boy 2- “Let’s all get in the closet and fart. Last one standing wins.”

I’m glad I have three girls. Although, today the youngest said, Read the rest of this entry

Watermelon woes

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I have a shirt with an image in the corner of a watermelon slice being carried away by ants. Once I looked down and saw an actual ant crawling across my shirt just below that image!

My younger two girls like to pretend to grab the watermelon from my shirt and put it in their pocket to save for later. (I shudder at what a mess that would make.)

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One time my youngest was complaining about the disproportionate watermelon distribution when I got her into the top bunk. I suggested that since she was up there, I could throw her enough watermelon to equal her sister’s.

She cried, “I can’t catch them. They’re too heavy!” Read the rest of this entry