Kids say the funniest things

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A friend came across these notes she’d written about her daughter and kindly and boldly sent me photos. She even allowed me to share them with you. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry

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The Chex Mix guy strikes again.

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Twice actually. A few weeks ago, the 99c sale was on, calling me like a siren song. I hoped I’d see the CM guy so I could continue our funny banter. I was nearly disappointed until I saw him at the last check stand on my way out.

“Hey, Chex Mix guy.” [I actually used his real name, but you know, privacy and all that.] When he looked up, I said, “Time to restock the Chex Mix again.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “Yeah, I knew it when I saw you come in.” He probably didn’t see me come in.

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My spoils.

Today I was back. He walked by as I was checking out. Read the rest of this entry

And I thought *I* was the funny one.

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My friend and her husband, having met at University of Virginia, where he played basketball, were overjoyed when VA won March Madness some weeks ago.

bballAt the time, I sent her a congratulatory text. She wrote back that she was impressed I knew. It’s true I know and care little for professional sports, but my husband sometimes keeps me informed.

I texted back: “I care about stuff you care about. I mean, not your kids or your husband or your dog, but basketball I can get behind.”

Here I figured she must be wetting herself from my masterful command of humor, and yet, a second later, she wrote back: Read the rest of this entry

Can you guess whose is whose?

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My thirteen-year-old daughter and I were invited by her friend and her friend’s mom to  one of those places where you paint or sculpt. We had a great time, and both came home with a painting we were fairly proud of. Until I saw mine next to my daughter’s and realized I’m no better an artist than my 8th grader. Not that I should be, but shouldn’t I be? I might even be worse.

Here are our paintings. Can you guess whose is whose? Read the rest of this entry

50% off?! I’ll take two!

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I think this company should’ve had a focus group meeting on the name of their product. People who are interested in getting leg cramps, however, are in luck. Two for the price of one! You wouldn’t want one leg to be left out! Get cramps in both legs!

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Here’s a story I’m sharing for a particular BBB (Beloved Blog Buddy). Let’s see if she knows who she is. 😉   [If this story involved a cat, I’d mean you, Julie and Andrew.] Read the rest of this entry

Just to clarify…

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dscn5737.jpgHave we run out of adjectives for shampoo?
My Kiwi-Lime Squeeze has been labeled “clarifying” shampoo.
So does that mean when I’m in public, my hair will convey to others, “Yes, this hair is clean. She lathered and rinsed, but just didn’t repeat”?
Or, “Yes, this is her natural color. I would know.”
Or, “Yes, she knows it’s frizzy, she just doesn’t care enough.”
Thanks for setting that straight, shampoo. It’s about time someone came up with a shampoo that could do this for us.
What are your thoughts on what “clarifying shampoo” might mean?

Did I mention *I* have a new book out too?

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In the book launch furor for my beloved blog buddies, (Oooh, BBB!) it occurred to me that I might as well mention that my third book hit shelves last week. BEHOLD:

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Amazon and Barnes and Noble will get the book in about a month, but the publisher has it now.

Here are a few excerpts:

It helps knowing that I’m not the only parent who messes up. I saw a picture of a t-shirt tag that bore the instructions: “Remove child before washing.” I mean, if that has to be stated for some parents, I can’t be doing too badly.
Some days your children are just going to be fussy, like they’re taking turns or have it scheduled on a secret calendar. Keeping a sense of humor helps. Once I asked a friend how her kids were. She responded: “For sale.”
Though I’m no athlete, it doesn’t stop my friends who wake up at 5:30 to run, from trying to convince me to join them. There must be something to it, though, as they seem very happy. Also insane, but crazy people do tend to laugh a lot, so it’s hard to tell the difference. My workout comes from lifting the baby on my legs while I lie on the floor. He cracks up and that makes me crack up too — until he drools into my mouth.
Any brand of silliness is bound to earn you points with your kids. My mom would often say, “You in the pink dress.” No one was wearing a dress. Or pink.
Buy it for the parents in your life, or for yourself if you enjoy a good laugh, and let’s be honest: Who doesn’t?
BBBs: I didn’t organize a Blog Hop because I’m not as cool as you. If anyone would like to do a shout out, I certainly won’t stop you. Feel free to copy what you like from this post, or ask me for more if you just can’t get enough of all this.