Hamster juice

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At my daughter’s birthday party, we discussed cake decorating.

In honor of my daughter’s best birthday present, someone said, “You could just put the hamster on the cake.”

E, my youngest, said, “Then you might get hamster juice on it.” After a long pause, she added, “That’s hamster pee.”

“Yes, we got it. Thank you,” I said to her.

Somehow that spurred her onward instead of silencing her. Read the rest of this entry

It’s a zoo in here!

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My kitchen is no longer safe. Wild animals have taken it over. I guess this is what happens when Mommy sleeps in. The children have a field day. And no doubt had a wonderful time. They certainly enjoyed me finding all the animals. Here are several of the places I found them. Read the rest of this entry

Happy Easter, hamster!

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My two redheaded daughters made cards for our hamster, Rapunzel–so named because she’s a Syrian long-hair. She’s so fluffy I’ve had to cut out bedding that got tangled in her hair.

One card said “Happy Easter” with a picture of foods she likes to eat such as carrots, broccoli, clover flowers, yogurt treats, and hamster pellets. Inside my daughter wrote, Read the rest of this entry

Whose kid is this?!

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My sweet, darling, adorable red-headed six-year-old, E, never ceases to astound me. But not always for good reason.

Here’s an exchange between her and her older sister, L, while they stirred up strawberry jello.

E: It’s blood.
L: No, it’s a flood.
E: It’s a flood of blood.
L: No, it’s a strawberry flood.
E: It’s a flood of strawberry blood.
Read the rest of this entry

Now this is just pathetic.

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I dreamed that I was picking up crayons, beads, and books from the back of my girls’ closet. Then I was checking the sizes on the dresses they had hanging up to see if they were too small and could be put away.

This is what I was dreaming about, people!

For reals. In my subconscious playground, instead of Read the rest of this entry

The joys of homeschooling

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I just came across this facebook post of mine from a couple years ago. It still cracks me up so I thought I’d share:

Phonics and spelling assessment for one child + math unit review for another = Momma gets to have a little a-d-d-i-t-i-o-n to her lemonade today!

vodka+ lemonade

= temporary relief from insanity

Remember, faithful readers, when my oldest came up with a handy excuse for her spelling mistakes, ala “a letter was missing because it wasn’t invited to the word party,” or the quotation marks were so low because “they had rocks in their boots”?

The latest came when the printer was running low on ink and the bottom halves of a few lines were faint to non-existent. My daughter said Read the rest of this entry

And now for something a little different…

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I’m a big fan of novelists because without them we’d just be reading news all the time, or nonfiction books like 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage. How boring would that be? Sure, we’d be better informed and more happily married, but at what cost?

To that end, I’ve decided to interview an author I’m a big fan of, Harry Heckel. Harry has graciously consented to be my guinea pig with this whole interview experiment. He’s written some very funny, entertaining books that I’ve enjoyed and the rest of the world needs to know about!

So, without further ado, I present Harry Heckel:

Harry Heckel

Harry Heckel at the 2014 New York Comic Con where he did a panel on fairy tales and a book signing.

Me: Hi, Harry. Thank you for agreeing to do this.

HH: My pleasure, Betsy. Any fan of mine is a fan of mine.

(Just kidding, I, Betsy, wrote that part. I did warn you that HH is my guinea pig.)

But for reals this time: What made you decide to become a writer?

HH: I’ve wanted to write for a long time. When I was a child I’d make up histories and names for my toys and I read voraciously. I wanted to create books of my own to inspire and entertain others. If I can make one person’s day brighter or spark one person’s imagination, I’ve done some good.

Me: What an excellent answer. I wish I’d made that one up for you, too. Your most recent book, A Fairy-tale Ending, was published under a pen name (Jack Heckel) and you co-authored it. What was that like? I’m just going to pretend that I have no experience with this. And I certainly won’t mention that my second co-authored book with Dr. Morse, 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person, comes out this fall. This is your interview, after all. Read the rest of this entry