That guy again

Long-time readers know this person. Some may have read the title and known right away who this post would be about. (If you did, let me know in the comments. Now I’m curious.)

I was doing a free gym trial, figuring it would be a good way to rebuild leg muscle, when I ran into an old friend.

At long last, the face behind the legend. I’m surprised I got him to smile for you, but I suspect he enjoys an audience.

I hadn’t seen the Chex Mix Guy in more than a year. He was smaller than I remembered, in every way.

Gone was the cheerful, funny man who brought us twelve posts-worth of entertainment. Heartbreak had made him cynical, filled with career ambition and little else.

One thing I’ll note for my future self: When I told him about falling to the bottom in my martial arts classes, he said, “That gives you a goal to aim for. Work your way back to the top.” That was thoughtful of him.

When we were through catching up, he grabbed his phone to choose the next song for his air buds. I took two steps and turned back around.

“This is weird,” I said.

“What is?”

“This is the last time I will ever see or speak to you.”

Miscellaneous pictures and a tragic sale

The anatomy of a Star Wars AT-AT Walker t-shirt

A man in a parking lot complimented Hubby on this t-shirt. I stepped back out of the car to say, “I got him that shirt!”

The man looked at Hubby and said, “Hold her close.”

Sparring gear in my trunk. It just makes me happy.

My Neighbor and the CMG. Again.

I may have pulled off an excellent prank. But I’ll likely never know.

Neighbor asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I suggested we get coffee and do our usual shopping trips. She responded “YES! and YES!” That alone wins her the title of my favorite person ever. Actually, just asking what I wanted to do on my birthday was enough. But it got even better.

We first arranged to go to brunch with another friend. Neighbor picked me up, which is sort of funny, since we’re two houses apart, but then I saw the side of her car.

So THIS happened.

I walked inside from the garage and called to my son, “Oh, Joooo-sepppphhh.”

“Yes?”

“Who’s you’re favorite moooo-mmmyyyy?”

His response, I kid you not: “Is it Chex Mix?”

First of all, no, he does not think CM is his mommy. He just surmised (as a four-year-old!) that I had gone to the store and bought him CM. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to the store. This child is just that good at sniffing the stuff out.

That and he’s been asking for it for days, to the point where, last night, after tucking him in bed, Hubby says to me, “Joe asked for Chex Mix again. You should probably pick some up.”

Finally I did. He’s lucky it was on sale, because you know that’s how I roll. So, in response to the above question from Joe, I laughed and said, “Yes!” more out of amazement that he guessed the reason for the sing-song voice than out of excitement for having the stuff in my home again.

I have clearly passed the CM torch onto my son.

He said, “Could you bring me a bowl?” But as I had other groceries to put away and did not bring him a bowl of the golden deliciousness in less than 60 seconds, he came to get it himself.

If only I could get him that excited about bed time.

Can’t talk. Eating Cheddar Chex Mix.

The last time I brought CM home, he saw the bag on the counter, grabbed it, and literally tried to tear it open with his teeth.

Monster officially created.

That time, btw, was when I had gone to that other store where I’d seen new flavors. I had asked your advice. Remember these?

If you need an excuse, make it a good one.

My mom nearly forgot my daughter’s birthday. Her card arrived a few days late, but she was prepared with her excuse.

Here’s what came in the envelope:

It reads: “Happy birthday, Elise! No, this card is not late! Check the date! [Much earlier than when it was actually written.] Mailed in plenty of time. It is the postman’s fault! (See enclosed letter.)”

And so, the enclosed letter from “Harold Postman”:

“It is my fault. The snow is high, seven feet high, and I could not see the mailbox. Do not blame your kind and beautiful grandmother. (I cannot believe she is a grandmother, she looks so young.) Now snow melted and I find letter. -Harold Postman”

That’s how you write an excuse with flair.

A blogger who knows who he is, has talked about Dot’s pretzels and how superb they are (probably even erroneously claiming their superiority to my beloved Chex Mix). I didn’t give much thought to Dot’s, as they seemed to be local to his area.

But, lo and behold:

There’s Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels on the top shelf for $7?! And waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy down on the bottom shelf, unimposing and humble, are the Chex Mix on sale for $1.

Now, now, folks, let’s not assume Dot’s has superiority based on perceived value due to cost and shelf placement. Yes, Mark, I was tempted, but, no, I didn’t buy your favored over-priced snack of choice.

I will, however, keep an eye on it in case it goes on sale to something reasonable! Then I’ll give it a try. Maybe. Perhaps. Probably.

Anyone eat anything new and interesting lately?

What’s the best excuse you’ve ever given or received?

Is my Mom great, or what? (Yes, Mom, I can see you beaming from here.)

So sweet. So innocent. So… wait.

Look! I made a slideshow!

Image 1: What’s Darth Vader holding?

Image 2: Oh, that’s nice. It’s a flower.

• 

• 

• 

Image 3: Joe: “It’s not a flower. It’s a bomb that explodes people.”

Yep. That’s my son, folks.

I recently visited a larger version of the store where I normally buy Chex Mix. Curious, I wandered into the snack aisle to see what varieties of Chex Mix there might be.

Behold! Varieties I didn’t even know existed!

Buffalo Ranch and Ghost Pepper Chex Mix!

Did you know Chex Mix made these flavors? Would you try the Buffalo Ranch with “Flavor Blasted Spicy Buffalo Chex Pieces + Ranch Chex Mix” or the “Hot and Spicy” (ya think?) Ghost Pepper with “Danger” and “Scary Hot” written on the packaging?

Look! I made a poll!

Co-writing a novel

These two are writing a book together in a google doc. Because they can see what the other is typing, as she’s typing it, when one misspelled a word on her computer, the other corrected it on her own. Then the first wrote in the doc, “Show off,” and they both started laughing.

While they were washing dishes earlier, I heard them discussing what hair color to give a particular character.

“Red hair.”

“But James has red hair.”

“What about black?”

“Eww.”

I chimed in with, “How about strawberry blond?”

“Oooh, let’s do that,” said one.

“Yes,” agreed the other.

“You know why?” I said.

Expert customer service

In the check-out line at Costco, a young employee asked with a completely straight face:

“The item at the top of your cart–will that be to purchase or for return?”

“I didn’t realize returns were an option on those,” I said.

Again, with nary a mouth twitch, he said, “If you have the original receipt.”

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Many people are going to be annoyed that this post isn’t about what they think it will be about. Those of you who have been with me a long time already know what it’s going to be about.

Yep, Chex Mix.

The 99c sale was happening, so I hurried on my way, having discovered that my local grocer once again is stocking The Good Stuff: not just any Chex Mix, but Cheddar a.k.a. Heaven in a Bag.

The first day of the sale, I got there too late. Only two Traditional and one Bold were left on the shelf. So I went back two days later and scored this:

Seven bags of Cheddar Chex Mix in all its Golden Glory.

When I got home, I announced, “I return triumphant!” My oldest daughter’s eyes lit up like she’d just witnessed the most amazing magic trick ever.

Youngest Daughter asked, “Did you see that one guy you know there and tell him they needed to refill the shelf?”

Back by popular demand

Many of you were disheartened by the thought of never again hearing stories of the Chex Mix Guy (CMG). Your comments on that last post were quite entertaining and endearing. For instance:

“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”

“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”

“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”

And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”

Happy Chex Mix

Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)

Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.

I didn’t care. Normally I would care, but with this guy, I didn’t care.