My son thinks he’s SO clever

Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.

First of all, when and how did he learn this?!

I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”

Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”

Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.

Delicious looking plate of green beans. That I didn’t cook, hence looking delicious. Image by Vu DOAN from Pixabay

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When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”

My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”

Joe said, “You can eat them then.”

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Joe loves going outside. The problem is,

Toddler logic

This may come as a shock to readers, but my two-year-old is not fond of napping. When I announced naptime, he hid behind the Curtain of Invisibility.

Mom, look what I can do!

Joe called me into his room after I’d put him to bed last night, asking for a drink of water.

Classic stall technique.

He also held up his finger and said, “Get rid of it.”

As it was dark, I fumbled to find the end of his finger, where, what I thought was a broken fingernail, was hanging off. I easily removed it and tried to throw it in the trash, but as it took several tries to scrape the sticky substance off my own finger, I asked,

“Is this a booger? From your nose?”

Though I couldn’t see his beaming face, I could hear it in his voice.

“I got it myself!”

The last time I removed a booger from his nose, I had to wrestle him into the corner of the couch and use the jaws of life to pry his hands away from his face. (How is a two-year-old so strong?!)

So I said, “That’s good I guess.”

As I left his room, thinking maybe I won’t have to struggle to evacuate his nostrils again, it occurred to me that I had effectively taught my son to pick his nose.

Yep. *I* did that.

Sigh.

 

You lost me at “Goodnight”

My 18-month-old daughter kept pointing to the full moon in the book Goodnight Moon and then at the crescent-shaped one on the wall that the cow was jumping over. My husband decided to supply her with, “Well, Sweetheart, sometimes the moon is full when the earth is not blocking it from the sun, and the crescent shape comes from when…[yada yada yada…]” When he finished he said, “Do you understand?”

She nodded her head diligently.

Then I said, “Daddy,

Neat trick, Dad!

Faucet in a Japanese park (Wikipedia) That’s not water, kid.

 

When my son was nearing two-years-old, we decided it was time to start the process of potty training.  The first step in this procedure was the “show and tell” portion.  Well, my son decided the “show” part was pretty cool.  In fact, he thought dad had a built in faucet, and that it was a good time to

Yes, Ma’am!

Taking a nap (Photo credit: JohnFinn)

 

My nearly three-year-old daughter is transitioning away from taking naps. She yawns in the afternoons but isn’t tired enough to actually fall asleep. When she laid down on the couch and pulled a blanket on herself, I held my arms out to her and asked, “Do you want me to carry you to your room for a nap?”

 

She brushed my hands away and said,

Ain’t that the truth?

This mom has it easy.

Tonight my three-year-old son said to me, “Momma, you’re nice. Thank you for wiping my butt. Yeah, because I can’t reach my butt, and you help me. You’re so

At least she got one thing right

 

 

My two-year-old ran outside announcing, “I have shoes on! I have shoes on!” I was pleased that she remembered that step for once. Unfortunately,

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

Dang, this thing looks good! Who wants to join me for coffee and a muffin? (A Starbucks Coffee muffin Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of you may have seen this already, but I’m sure it’s worth another read. It was sent to me by a follower for your entertainment. (Thank you, Ginny!)

If You Give a Mom a Muffin
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If you give a mom a muffin, she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. So she’ll pour herself some.

The coffee will get spilled by her three year old. She’ll wipe it up.

Wiping up the floor, she will find some dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do some laundry.

Already working the loopholes

Plastic Lei (Photo credit: sandy.redding)

After a luau-themed school picnic, my seven-year-old came home with several different colors of plastic leis. When her two-year-old “Queen of Destruction” sister grabbed a hold of one, she became very nervous. Trying to pull it away  would almost ensure a torn lei and asking nicely for its safe return having proved fruitless, she instructed her little sister, “Don’t break or tear it.”

The younger, bent on the mess potential all this frilly plastic could create, but still wanting to be obedient to her big sister, responded,