Tag Archives: funny parenting stories

The Predator Becomes the Prey

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I found this story in my drafts folder from about two years ago!

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Raccoon photo courtesy of Pixabay.

We spotted a raccoon. In our yard.

Normally this would be met with a little excitement, mingled with a twinge of fear as in: Don’t let the kids get close; it could be rabid.

But tonight the sight meant: We have chickens! Get that b*stard out of here!

No one said that, of course. The children, after all. But Hubs and I were thinking it.

He grabbed a stick and chased after the raccoon, which jumped on the lattice fence. As it was crawling down the other side, Hubs jabbed the stick through a hole and got the racoon in its belly. It fell the remaining two feet and scurried off.

[If you love all creatures, great and small, including chicken killers, my apologies.]

“That will keep him away. But not for long,” Hubs said.

The children went on the offensive. Armed with sticks and a surprisingly functional  homemade bow and arrow, they kept guard, marching back and forth along the fence. Read the rest of this entry

The toddler and the baby

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Little Joe was so sweetly and lovingly holding a baby doll, hugging and kissing it, I thought, “Awh, he’ll make a good dad some day, or perhaps big brother.”

Then he banged the doll’s head on the ground and yelled, “Ow!” Not once or twice, but three times.

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Nice, baby. Niiiice. A few seconds before “Wham! Wham!”

Boys.

 

If you give a child an empty wine box…

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She’ll turn it into a holder for her princess dolls.

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Rather inventive, no?

A friend shared this story about her five-year-old daughter:

Daughter: “Mommy, tell me a secret.”
Mom (whispering): “I think you are sweet and funny.”
Daughter: “Now, I’ll tell you one… (whispering) Read the rest of this entry

It’s not what you think. I can explain.

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Some time after the kids had been playing outside my bedroom window, I walked into my room, looked out the window, and saw something that made me freeze, back up slowly, and call down the hallway, “Girls? Could you come here a moment?”

Then, pointing, “What. Is that?” Read the rest of this entry

My brilliant son

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Joe pointed to my husband’s shirt hanging up on the clothes rack and said, “Dada.”

“That’s right, Joe. That’s Dada’s.”

Then he pointed to my husband’s sock and said, “Dada.”

Me, thoroughly impressed: “Yes, Dada’s.”

Then he pointed to Read the rest of this entry

Friday wisdom

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Those of you who follow Andrew Reynolds’ blog know that I’m blatantly stealing his post idea. (Flattered, Andrew?) His hilarious Friday posts are often “wisdom” from his father. Since my children’s father imparted wisdom on them recently, I couldn’t resist this post.

My husband and three daughters were at Costco when one of them spotted a dime on the floor. Soon another found two pennies, and the other a quarter. Next it was another penny and a dime.
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My husband said, “We should find out who’s dropping this money. And follow him.”
What do you do when you find a coin on the floor?
A. Pick it up.
B. Leave it.
C. Turn it head side up to give someone good luck.

The best part of being Mom is…

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When the kids eat m&m’s, I make them give me all the ones with my initial on them.

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My blog presence lately has been scattershot at best. Deadline this, deadline that. Too little time to keep up, sadly. :/ But on the plus side to all this work… Read the rest of this entry