Tag Archives: funny parenting stories

Momma kitty

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My youngest loves cats and kittens. A recent visit to the library netted her this book, which became our bedtime “story.”

cat

Ridiculously cute, am I right?

For kicks and giggles, I was subtly adding words in my “reading voice.”

For instance (not a direct quote from the book): “Cats are fun and playful just like Momma.”

“Cats are beautiful and smart just like Momma.”

Then my husband walks in and says, Read the rest of this entry

Nightmares of John Wayne

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QMNow calm down. I’m not about to insult The Duke. I grew up on John Wayne movies, including this one mentioned in a comment someone kindly left in the Add Your Own Story section of this blog. Check it out:

Last night we finished watching The Quiet Man with John Wayne.

6 Yr old son: Papa, that movie is going to give me nightmares.
Papa: What part?
6 Yr old son: What’s a nightmare?
Papa: Bad dreams that scare you.
6 Yr old son: Never mind… I’ll be okay.

Too cute, right?

I responded to this by thanking the person for evidently thinking of me shortly after it happened. He responded: Read the rest of this entry

A new hope… for a new generation of Star Wars fans

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We took to the girls to school to watch Star Wars on the classroom’s big pull down screen because if you’re going to watch Star Wars for the first time, you can’t watch it on our tiny tv at home.

All they knew of Star Wars is what the Lego movies have taught them, which, while truly entertaining, just isn’t the same.
My husband and I decided it was time, so we brought them to his classroom under false pretenses. We distracted them with kids meals from Sonic (also a first) while hubs hooked his laptop up to the projector.
They were none the wiser until the iconic music began blaring from the classroom’s speakers. They looked up from their tater tots with wide eyes. Then hubs pulled the large screen down and the magic began.

Read the rest of this entry

Not exactly a glass-half-full kind of kid

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My husband missed dinner because a work meeting ran long. As I was serving our youngest her food she said, “It feels like Dad died.”

“That’s a sad thing to say!”

She looked down, thought about it for a while, and then changed her statement to Read the rest of this entry

Whose kid is this?!

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My sweet, darling, adorable red-headed six-year-old, E, never ceases to astound me. But not always for good reason.

Here’s an exchange between her and her older sister, L, while they stirred up strawberry jello.

E: It’s blood.
L: No, it’s a flood.
E: It’s a flood of blood.
L: No, it’s a strawberry flood.
E: It’s a flood of strawberry blood.
Read the rest of this entry

The joys of homeschooling

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I just came across this facebook post of mine from a couple years ago. It still cracks me up so I thought I’d share:

Phonics and spelling assessment for one child + math unit review for another = Momma gets to have a little a-d-d-i-t-i-o-n to her lemonade today!

vodka+ lemonade

= temporary relief from insanity

Remember, faithful readers, when my oldest came up with a handy excuse for her spelling mistakes, ala “a letter was missing because it wasn’t invited to the word party,” or the quotation marks were so low because “they had rocks in their boots”?

The latest came when the printer was running low on ink and the bottom halves of a few lines were faint to non-existent. My daughter said Read the rest of this entry

Pardon?

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You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”

Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.

I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.

I said, “What?”

She said her thing again.

I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry