I may have pulled off an excellent prank. But I’ll likely never know.
Neighbor asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I suggested we get coffee and do our usual shopping trips. She responded “YES! and YES!” That alone wins her the title of my favorite person ever. Actually, just asking what I wanted to do on my birthday was enough. But it got even better.
We first arranged to go to brunch with another friend. Neighbor picked me up, which is sort of funny, since we’re two houses apart, but then I saw the side of her car.
First of all, no, he does not think CM is his mommy. He just surmised (as a four-year-old!) that I had gone to the store and bought him CM. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to the store. This child is just that good at sniffing the stuff out.
That and he’s been asking for it for days, to the point where, last night, after tucking him in bed, Hubby says to me, “Joe asked for Chex Mix again. You should probably pick some up.”
Finally I did. He’s lucky it was on sale, because you know that’s how I roll. So, in response to the above question from Joe, I laughed and said, “Yes!” more out of amazement that he guessed the reason for the sing-song voice than out of excitement for having the stuff in my home again.
I have clearly passed the CM torch onto my son.
He said, “Could you bring me a bowl?” But as I had other groceries to put away and did not bring him a bowl of the golden deliciousness in less than 60 seconds, he came to get it himself.
If only I could get him that excited about bed time.
The last time I brought CM home, he saw the bag on the counter, grabbed it, and literally tried to tear it open with his teeth.
Monster officially created.
That time, btw, was when I had gone to that other store where I’d seen new flavors. I had asked your advice. Remember these?
Many of you were disheartened by the thought of never again hearing stories of the Chex Mix Guy (CMG). Your comments on that last post were quite entertaining and endearing. For instance:
“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”
“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”
“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”
And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”
Happy Chex Mix
Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)
Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.
I recently started taking Chex Mix with me to parties–a sure fire way of being invited back. Since there were a lot of parties for the holidays, I ran out and hit my local store to replenish my supplies. The Chex Mix Guy (CMG) had ordered a box of both Cheddar and Honey Nut for me back in October, housing them in his office, while I slowly chipped away at them.
Crying Chex Mix
Amidst the regular shopping I did first, I glanced down at the Chex Mix shelf and saw, amongst the black and blue of Bold and Boring (aka Traditional) the golden hues of my sacred flavors.
I marched to the customer service desk and asked the lady to call CMG’s office. She got him on the phone and relayed the message: “A customer wants to know if you put out all of her Chex Mix.”
Here I’m grinning stupidly, thinking this must be one of the most bizarre statements this woman has ever made. That, and I’m imagining what CMG’s reaction must be.
Just like last time, the grocery store check-out line got long once I entered it, so Chex Mix Guy was called from what I assume is referred to as “the back” (even though it’s near the front of the store).
I watched him push through the doorway that separates the riffraff from the employee-only Cave of Wonders and scurry toward the check stands. When he looked up and saw me smiling, he hung his head and shook it.
“You’re always causing me trouble,” he said.
Here I had two options for how to respond. See if you can guess which I chose:
A. “I’m sorry. Just bad timing, I guess. I hope you weren’t in the middle of something important.”
B. Roll my index fingers around one another in a wide arc like a spinning hamster wheel and say, “Rapido! Rapido!”
The last time I was at this store, so were the cops. Apparently shortly before I arrived, someone couldn’t be bothered with the whole check-out process and simply walked out with a basket full of expensive liquor. CM Guy was off to the side speaking with the police. I guess not even cops warrant passage to the mystical magical “back.”
Mibryant of pixabay.com was kind enough to take this photo of my liquor cabinet to illustrate this blog post.
So on this visit, I, “Crazy Chex Mix Lady,” had my line all ready to go should I get the opportunity to speak with CM Guy.
Have any of you made friends with the staff at your local grocery store? (If you have, tell me in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.) The meat guy at one place always says hi and makes small talk. One of the check-stand ladies in the same store calls me “girlfriend” or “little momma.”
Remember this guy? Exhibit A: Boy
Another lady, when I was pregnant with Joe, said that she was telling her daughter, “You know the lady with three girls, two are redheads? She’s having a BOY!” Not only are we chummy, she talks about me to her daughter—wild.
Then, of course, there’s the CM Guy, who can’t seem to be rid of me. On my last visit to his store, there were two lanes open—neither manned by him. But, since both lines were backed up, the checker in my lane picked up her phone and called, “Check stand help,” or something.
A minute later, scurry scurry—because that is the only word that accurately describes the CM Guy’s speedy and purposeful walk. The man takes his job seriously.
So he scurries past the bagging side of the check stands, lifts and arm to point, and says, “I can take the next customer over here.”
Since I, as fate would have it, was the next customer, I moved over, saying, “Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Yes, but what about from the last time you were here?” he said.
“I was going to, but I thought people might be getting tired of these stories.”
“There should be a post every time you come,” he said.
So, in compliance with my enabler supplier, that’s what happened yesterday. The time before that, when I arrived at the store on the appointed day–the day highlighted and circled several times on my calendar–the day, you guessed, that my special shipment of Rain Check Cheddar Chex Mix was due to arrive, I first headed to the produce section to pick up some plums. (See, I can buy healthy stuff too.)
The sale was even better this week: 88c instead of the usual 99. (Girlfriend loves a bargain.) So I trotted my way to the appropriate aisle, and lo and behold–empty, as in, M-T. Not even a straggler hiding at the back of the shelf. You know I checked.
I bought my other items and headed for the check out line. As fate would have it, the only non-express lane was manned by none other than The CM Guy.
Twice actually. A few weeks ago, the 99c sale was on, calling me like a siren song. I hoped I’d see the CM guy so I could continue our funny banter. I was nearly disappointed until I saw him at the last check stand on my way out. (Click here and here for the first two encounters with the Chex Mix guy.)
“Hey, Chex Mix guy.” [I actually used his real name, but you know, privacy and all that.] When he looked up, I said, “Time to restock the Chex Mix again.”
Without missing a beat, he said, “Yeah, I knew it when I saw you come in.” [He probably didn’t see me come in.]