Category Archives: Kids say the funniest things

Watermelon woes

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I have a shirt with an image in the corner of a watermelon slice being carried away by ants. Once I looked down and saw an actual ant crawling across my shirt just below that image!

My younger two girls like to pretend to grab the watermelon from my shirt and put it in their pocket to save for later. (I shudder at what a mess that would make.)

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One time my youngest was complaining about the disproportionate watermelon distribution when I got her into the top bunk. I suggested that since she was up there, I could throw her enough watermelon to equal her sister’s.

She cried, “I can’t catch them. They’re too heavy!” Read the rest of this entry

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As heard in a fourth grade classroom, part 3

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From my friend, “Mrs. P.”
Me (to one of my boys who was absent yesterday): Hey Buddy, you feeling better? Or, wait… Were you sick yesterday?
Boy (sighs): Oh, yeah… gas problems…
Me: Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better…
Boy (shakes head, smiling):

Read the rest of this entry

Utilizing the scientific principal of ‘better late than never’

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Here’s Little Man in his “My First Halloween” outfit.

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You got candy over there?

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My friend, you appear to have lost your head.

And so as not to have this blog turn into an excuse for showing off pictures of my baby, here’s a funny story to reward you for scrolling past the pics. My mom sent this to me about a friend’s child.

A little girl asked her grandfather, “Papa, what is the man’s job in a woman having a baby?” Read the rest of this entry

Some day, Baby. Some day.

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For reasons unknown to me, family members enjoy offering Baby Joseph food and laughing at his complete disinterest in this strange multi-colored stuff we’re putting in our mouths.

My youngest daughter said to him in her high-pitched little voice, “You want chips and salsa, Joe? You want some beer?” (Please note that she was consuming neither.)

But the goofiness doesn’t end there. My oldest spilled dry Rice Krispies on the floor. Did she sweep them up right away? No. She brought out Read the rest of this entry

One month down

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DSCN4656So, Little Man is one month old today. That leaves two months of the so-called “fourth trimester.”

I get it. I remember when my last child was a baby repeating to myself, Just get to three months. Things will be better after three months.

I’ve also heard this time referred to as the 90 Days of Darkness.

There are good days and bad days. Likewise with the nights. The hard part is, it’s never the same from one day or night to the next. Of course, if they were all bad, I’d not like that much at all. The point is, Read the rest of this entry

Can I get that in writing?

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My 6 year-old was whining about her math worksheet. Her older sister said, “You can do it. Mom said it’s easy.”

The 6 year-old replied with, “Yeah, but Mom’s good at everything.”

Clearly a child who Read the rest of this entry

As heard in a fourth grade classroom, part 2

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Here’s something months-old from my draft folder. It’s all I have the energy for. My youngest is six, so I am very surprised to find myself in the woes of a first trimester all over again. I’ve not been so attentive of mine or other’s blogs lately. Please forgive me.

Girl Student (teary eyed): My finger really hurts…

Me (blowing a kiss onto her finger): There we go! When I taught kindergarten a couple years ago, every time I blew a kiss on someone’s owie then it healed VERY soon. My students said my boo-boo kisses were like magic! I sure hope I still have my touch!!

Girl Student (rubbing her finger): Nope. You don’t have it anymore.

Read the rest of this entry