Author Archives: ParentingIsFunny

About ParentingIsFunny

Author, wife, and mother of three girls and a toddler boy. Although they sometimes make me want to cry, I find that laughing is much more fulfilling.

I didn’t spill o.j. in Japan.

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“Oops!” my nine-year-old said as she opened the orange juice.

“Did you spill it everywhere?” I asked.

“Not everywhere,” she said. “I didn’t spill it in Japan.”

Can’t argue with that logic.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. (I’m just going to pretend you’ve noticed and have been concerned.) Now I seriously want that delicious looking glass of o.j. With a little something extra in it. Triple sec? Amaretto?

What’s your drink of choice?

“Is anyone missing their snake head?”

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That’s No. 1 on the list of Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids.

But that’s what happens when you return to your writing desk and find this:

 

It’s one of those jointed plastic snakes that wriggle and turn. The kind of cheap prize you get at kid’s carnival games (which is where I’m pretty sure this came from).

At any rate, one of my daughters called from the other room to announce that she’d found Read the rest of this entry

Let’s just try this again, shall we?

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Here’s what happened:

Our Aristocats book was lightly scribbled in by one of my daughters years ago, like so:

Aristocats cover

When Joe asked about it, I told him his sister had done it. The next day, I discovered more scribbles, like so:

Aristocats 1

“Joe, did you scribble in this book?” Parenting note: I already knew the answer to this question, so I shouldn’t have worded it in such a way that would encourage him to lie. Nevertheless, it was the first shocked response to come out of me.

He responded: “No.”

“Oh really?” I said. “Then who did?”

“My sister.”

“Your sister is old enough now to know better. I know you did this, Joe. Would you please say, ‘I’m sorry I colored in the book'”? Read the rest of this entry

Alive and chippin’

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masksRecent conversation with a friend:

Me: I laugh at all these gaining-weight-due-to-quarantine memes, but then looked down at my stomach and thought, “Oh.”
I wondered where the tummy was coming from as I reached into the cupboard for my nightly potato chips…
Friend: You only live once. 🙂
Me: It will be a shorter life if I die in a pile of potato chip crumbs…. 😉
Me: Instead of flowers, people will bring Ruffles and Lays to my grave site.
Me: Ooooohhhh…. Can I just have that now??

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Nap time for Mommy

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Out of energy, I flopped myself down on the couch. Of course, that’s about when my son woke up from his nap. One of the older children retrieved him from his crib, and he found me.

Rather than demand I get up and play with him, he gave me a stuffed kitten and laid his beloved blankie across my back.

“Should I read you a story?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” I said.

He grabbed the book, Dear Zoo, and read it quite well from memory.

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“Would you like a song now?” he asked. Read the rest of this entry

Laughing in the face of craziness

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I’d feel a little guilty posting my usual silly home life stuff in light of all the insanity facing our world.

So, instead, I’ll just make light of all the insanity facing our world!

I’ve seen so many funny memes about COVID19. You’ve probably seen some too. But not all of them! So here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!

Let me know which ones particularly got you smiling. 🙂

washing hands

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Kindergarten quotes

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When a boy ran by a kindergarten girl, she remarked, “That kid flew by like a bag of popcorn!”

Who knew popcorn could move so fast?

When asked what he would do with $100, one kindergartner said with glee, “I’d buy a Lamborghini, a new house, and an airplane!”

A quote from my (non-kindergarten) daughter that was pretty entertaining came when she stepped out of the van after a 30-minute drive to our hiking site, looked down at her feet, and said, “Awww, man.”

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