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I always like a good book about AI. What is AI? Just happen to have an answer: Read the rest of this entry
Where to begin?
It’s embarrassing to admit that I thought of you all many times on this trip, sometimes even by name. I do have friends in real life too, honest! But I was frequently thinking of how I would write up certain things for this blog and you, my beloved blog buddies.
After I got through the security check in San Diego, I sat down and typed this:
The first pat down was painless. They not only had the footprint floor mat facing away from the maddening crowd of the security line, they took me a little ways off to the side. There was an onlooker this time (like in D.C.) but only because my “patter” was a trainee. She was gentle (unlike in D.C.). The only hitch was I needed to hold my pants up while she frisked my legs. “This is embarrassing enough without my pants falling down,” I said. She was kind enough to let me break protocol and put my arms down for that part of the procedure.
When she checked my belly, I said, “Yes, it’s real.” Both women laughed and gushed over how cute and petite it was. I managed to survive that part. 😉
They wished me a Happy Mother’s Day, and I was on my way.
So TOTALLY not me.
Even though it was a little sad to be traveling on Mother’s Day, since I’m obviously a mother, thanks to this beer gut, I got a hearty Happy M. D. from the kind lady I bought my lunch from, as well as one of the flight attendants, who gushed over my belly, asked me several questions, told me a little about her son, and then finally continued beverage service. When she finished she came back, leaned her arm against the overhead bin above me, and we chatted me some more.
The woman who did my pat down in the Birmingham airport on the way home asked me similar questions in the same exact tone as she gave the run-down of the procedure. Matter-of-factly she said, as her hands did their business: Read the rest of this entry
“Betsy, you’re waddling,” I was told last night as I walked into a restaurant for a friend’s baby shower. (The friend, btw, was not in attendance because she was at the hospital in labor. We celebrated in her absence.)
So it’s as I feared.
This is what I’ve become. Picture the waddle.
The sprained muscle I mentioned in my last post has only gotten worse, and the other side of my body is getting thrown off to compensate, thereby exasperating my pregnant-lady walk. At seven months, I should not have the pregnant-lady walk!
Not to mention the pain. I decided it was time to take action by rubbing cream on the affected area, you know, my “lower back.”
Oooh, the cooling sensation. Not bad. Why didn’t I do this sooner?
Wait? What’s happening now? Why is it burning? My gosh my as—er… lower back is on fire! How did a cream that started out cool turn my backside into a bunsen burner?! Read the rest of this entry
Leaving—on a jet plane. DO know when I’ll be back again. The very next day!
I’ve begun planning for my whirlwind trip by picking out, washing, drying, and hanging up the five wardrobe changes for my television debut. Hanging the clothes up is a fool’s errand since they’ll be shoved, er, placed nicely, in a suitcase soon enough, but I can at least give them a fighting chance, right?
My schedule is to leave Sunday morning, spend all day on planes and in airports after getting the customary pregnant-woman-who-refuses-to-use-the-body-scanner pat-down (Happy Mother’s Day to me!), arrive at night, film the next day from 9a.m.-4:30p.m., fly away that evening, doing the whole pat-down, airports, flights thing in reverse, and arriving home around midnight local time.
If this is what’s considered “living the life” of a writer, it might be overrated. And did I mention the flights I’ve been booked are on United? Heaven help me.
So I’m planning six outfits for being on-site less than 24 hours. The sixth outfit being my Read the rest of this entry
At the zoo we saw a tiny deer called a pudu. I said to my husband, “How much voodoo would a pudu do if a pudu could do voodoo?”
No doubt it reminded him of how lucky he is to be married to me. Read the rest of this entry
Carrie Rubin, prepare to be amazed.
So y’all know of my great D.C. adventure where I gave a speech to some 200 people, right? You can read of my airport pat-down debacles here and here.
Well, guess what? I need to prepare for the frisking yet again! But it’s not for a talk this time. Oh no. It’s for television! Read the rest of this entry
Middle Daughter is in 4th grade. A recent math assignment asked her to draw certain dots and make an observation about the pattern. Here’s the answer key:
4. (a) shows the pattern; (d) shows “Possible observations” that can be made: “Each group of dots can be divided into a square and a right triangle; the difference between the total number of dots in each pair of terms increases as the pattern continues.”
Here’s my daughter’s answer sheet: Read the rest of this entry