My sweet, darling, adorable red-headed six-year-old, E, never ceases to astound me. But not always for good reason.
Here’s an exchange between her and her older sister, L, while they stirred up strawberry jello.
E: It’s blood.
L: No, it’s a flood.
E: It’s a flood of blood.
L: No, it’s a strawberry flood.
E: It’s a flood of strawberry blood.
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You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”
Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.
I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.
I said, “What?”
She said her thing again.
I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry
Hey, you’re a Phil, too?
We had friends over for a game night recently. One of our guests was Phil. He relayed a story of having met the San Diego Chargers’ quarterback Philip Rivers… for the second time. You see, he had met this preeminently famous San Diegan once before and, on the second meeting, forgot. his. name. Mind you, this friend’s name is Phil. The quarterback’s name is Phil-ip. You’d think that would be memorable to a Phil, right? But not only, on his second meeting, did he ASK PHILIP RIVERS HIS NAME!!!!! But then he asked, Read the rest of this entry
My stomach hurts just looking at this.
My oldest was watching an educational video about flatworms. Yum! I watched the starfish one with her, but let her handle this video on her own. I had dinner to consider, after all.
When it was over she came to give me her report. This is what she learned about flatworms:
“Mommy, did you know that flatworms are both male and female? And when they mate, they fight each other. The loser has to Read the rest of this entry
A friend of mine posted this on facebook:
Can a two-year-old have aspirations to be a medieval executioner? She has a pair of toy pliers and is attempting to remove my toes while insisting that “it no hurt.”
“You be fine, Mommy. It no hurt.” Medieval torture rack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
[Several minutes later…]
Now she is approaching with a Read the rest of this entry
My children were watching a cartoon movie. It was one that they’d seen before. As such, I was rather confused when my four-year-old daughter quickly covered her eyes during one part. Usually once they’ve seen a movie for the first time, the scary parts aren’t so scary on subsequent viewings. But when I checked the screen, I saw that it wasn’t at all a scary scene.
“What’s the matter?” I asked my daughter.
“I just can’t watch this part,” she said.
I could hardly believe her answer. Read the rest of this entry
I’m always unsure how to feel when my six-year-old daughter exclaims, “Oooh, you look pretty, Mommy!” when she sees me dressed up nicely to go out for some function or other. I simply choose to be flattered and cover her face with lipstick kisses rather than consider the implications of the surprise in her voice.
Most days I’m lucky if I remember to brush my hair. I don’t put on make-up, and I pretty much wear the same comfort clothes day after day until wash day. Yea, I’m a pretty sight. In fact, take a look. We’ll call this picture “before”: Read the rest of this entry