I know you’ve missed him.

Just like last time, the grocery store check-out line got long once I entered it, so Chex Mix Guy was called from what I assume is referred to as “the back” (even though it’s near the front of the store).

I watched him push through the doorway that separates the riffraff from the employee-only Cave of Wonders and scurry toward the check stands. When he looked up and saw me smiling, he hung his head and shook it.

“You’re always causing me trouble,” he said.

Here I had two options for how to respond. See if you can guess which I chose:

A. “I’m sorry. Just bad timing, I guess. I hope you weren’t in the middle of something important.”

or

B. Roll my index fingers around one another in a wide arc like a spinning hamster wheel and say, “Rapido! Rapido!”

The last time I was at this store, so were the cops. Apparently shortly before I arrived, someone couldn’t be bothered with the whole check-out process and simply walked out with a basket full of expensive liquor. CM Guy was off to the side speaking with the police. I guess not even cops warrant passage to the mystical magical “back.”

Mibryant of pixabay.com was kind enough to take this photo of my liquor cabinet to illustrate this blog post.

So on this visit, I, “Crazy Chex Mix Lady,” had my line all ready to go should I get the opportunity to speak with CM Guy.

“I saw the cops here last week,” I began.

Sometimes kids are too smart for their own good.

mmmm doughnut … (Photo credit: bunchofpants) What kind of a photo credit is that?!

 

When her grandparents were visiting, I tried to get my six-year-old to go to the grocery store with them. She wasn’t really interested, so I told her that they were going to buy donuts, which was true. Still not enticed, I suggested that, since the store was new to them, they would need her help finding the donuts.

 

Unswayed, she responded,

I don’t know her. I’ve never seen her before in my life.

English: The interior of the largest Whole Foods in the United States, located on Houston Street in the East Village of New York City. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I took my three girls with me to the health food store, a place with generally more sophisticated clientele than your average grocer. I know. I know. Then what was I doing there? Well, they had great sales on produce.

Another thing about this store is the carts are very narrow to match their check-out lanes. If you deviate an inch out of your designated space while purchasing your groceries, you will inevitably bump into the customer next to you, who is likewise concentrating on checking-out without disturbing other shoppers’ personal space. It was within these tight confines that my oldest decided to give her baby sister her best and loudest demonstration of a dinosaur roar.

No use crying over spilled milk.

I was at the grocery store picking up a few things when I felt my milk coming, in fact, I was engorged.  I didn’t realize until I got up to pay for the items, that I had leaked. I had two large wet circles

Awh, isn’t he a dear?

When my son was about 2 1/2, he became aware, from listening to his siblings or hearing things on TV, of what we call bad words, like “shut up”, “stupid,” and “jerk.”  So one day when we were in the check out line at the grocery store, an elderly woman

Oh dear. Um, well, here it is. Please don’t be offended.

My daughter was just learning to talk when we took her to the zoo. She was fascinated by the gorillas and pounded on her chest calling out “oooooh ooooh.” She learned to say “lilah” for “gorilla.”

Several days later we were walking through a parking lot, and my daughter, who was in my arms, began to shake and hold on to me for dear life, burying her face in my shoulder.

What aisle are the muzzles on?

While shopping at the grocery store, my two-year-old pointed to the woman in front of us and loudly declared, “Mommy, that lady is FAT!”

Never have I skidded grocery cart wheels before, but it worked to get around the corner as quickly as possible! Sue, mother of 4