Category Archives: Uncategorized

Funny business

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When I started this blog, my kids were still quite young.  I thought there’d be less fodder for funny blog posts as they got older. I was wrong. My oldest is now 11. She seems to have taken over the story production from her younger siblings. Observe this quote which Facebook tells me I posted one year ago today:

You know your daughter watches a lot of Master Chef when, after hearing the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand she says, “Do you think before he had his disciples pass out the food he said, Read the rest of this entry

Wua wua wua wuawhhh (that horn sound after someone tells a particularly bad joke)

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I was feeling peckish this afternoon, so my husband, being wonderful, asked if he could warm up the last enchilada from last night’s dinner for me. I said, sure, but then added:

“The question is, can I eat… the whole enchilada?”

I couldn’t resist. I had to say it, so you had to read it. I did warn you it was coming in the title of this post!

Here’s another gem from my super quick-witted oldest daughter.

At the end of the school year, she was working hard on her solar system report, telling me she was on her 5th page. I said, “You’re really plowing along!”

She said, without the slightest hesitation, Read the rest of this entry

Life with girls

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It started as a run-of-the-mill laundry sorting, which led to an underwear fight, which I may or may not have taken part in. (There are no witnesses. I deny everything.)

And it somehow culminated in this lovely addition to my wall candle decoration.

Read the rest of this entry

Freaking dinner guests out with a fake to-do list

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We use two dry erase boards stuck to the side of the fridge for our to-do list . Since they face the dining room table, and noticing that guests sometimes read this list, my husband wondered if we should remove it so they don’t see what chores we’ve been putting off. I responded with something to the effect of, “That’s a good thought, honey, but how about we do the exact opposite of that?”

Being a fabulously agreeable fellow, the fake to-do list was born.

Dry erase maker in hand, here’s what we came up with, leaving on a couple of our actual chores just to throw our friends off a bit. Read the rest of this entry

Bar trivia… in a library

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Ever since watching The Office episode where they do bar trivia, I thought it looked like a lot of fun, and for some reason, I thought I’d be good at it.

The Office

THE OFFICE — “Trivia” Episode 811 — Pictured: (l-r) Ellie Kemper as Kelly Erin Hannon, Mindy Kaling as Kelly Kapoor, Brian Baumgartner as Kevin Malone, Kate Flannery as Meredith Palmer — Photo by: Chris Haston/NBC

When I saw the flier at my local library for a trivia night, I knew I had to give it a go.

The hubs agreed that it sounded like an interesting way to spend an evening. I asked Dwight, one of the smartest guys I know, to join us. He used to work at a company that put together trivia games that you’d sometimes see on airplanes or in restaurants. He even won The Weakest Link back in the day.

So, yeah, good hands. But would it be enough? If I was going to do this thing, I wanted to win, darn it!

Then I remembered Dwight’s former coworker at the trivia place. We’ve spent every Super Bowl with Pam and her family for too many years to remember. I once heard her say, “They asked me to course-correct when I was two feet from the ground.” I mean, what person with a normal-sized brain uses that turn of phrase?

I needed her for my team. Her husband, Jim, too.

When I asked Dwight to invite them, he responded that they were all too eager to join in.

That’s when I started getting nervous.

All too eager… Read the rest of this entry

Everyone needs a little capybara in his or her life

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But first, I saw this picture on facebook and had to share it with my blog friends.

Cicero

How do you writers feel about it, particularly in light of a new book showing up on Amazon every five seconds, or so I hear. How would poor Cicero have handled that?

As to kids not obeying their parents, I’d love to see what that looked like in his day. I doubt very much that he’d like to see what it looks like in our day.

And now for something happier, check out what I’ve decided is my new favorite picture ever. Read the rest of this entry

How to be a hero… sort of…

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As promised, here’s an interview with one of my heroes in the literary world, Christopher Healy, author of The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, The Hero’s Guide to Storming the Castle, and The Hero’s Guide to Being an Outlaw (published by Walden Pond, an imprint of Harper Collins).

Christopher was kind enough to answer my questions about his books and the publishing process. Aspiring authors may appreciate his insights.

C.Healy

Christopher Healy chilling with a good book–one of his own!

BK: First, please tell us about the heroes.

CH: This is the story of four fairy tale princes who are tired of living in the shadows of their more famous female counterparts, so they decide to team up and make a name for themselves, only to discover that they’re pretty lousy at being heroes.

BK: Christopher’s description only hints at how funny these books are. My husband and I cracked up all the way through them. It wasn’t until later that we realized that they were meant for children. We gave the first one to our eight-year-old who read it in a day and a half, putting us both to shame.

HG1

Back to the interview, how did you get your start with writing?

CH: It was second grade when Mrs. Sheinman told my parents that my creative writing project—a folded construction paper book called, “Space Race”—was gold star material. That’s when I decided I wanted to be an author. It took another 30 years or so to make it happen, though. I actually began my professional writing career freelancing for various magazines, newspapers, and websites. I’d write whatever they’d let me write—mostly reviews and tiny little 50-word items, but it helped me build up a clip file. When I became a dad, though, it was hard to focus on much other than my kids, so I started writing about them. Which was actually a great move for me, because I ended up carving out a niche for myself as a “dad writer” with various parenting sites and magazines. And eventually I went from writing about children to writing for children.

BK: How did you land your agent? Read the rest of this entry