Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rabbit fur coat

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Don’t get upset. It’s not what you think. It’s just what someone called it after piling me with bunnies.

First there was one.

Then someone asked if I’d like to hold two. “Sure,” I said, but that quickly jumped to three.

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And suddenly there were four.

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Then, of course, five. Read the rest of this entry

When you spot a bug in the house, get a chicken.

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At least, that’s what my daughter did.

An earwig was in the doorway between the in and outdoors. Most people would’ve grabbed a shoe and flicked the bugger outside.

But, nope. She retrieved a chicken to eat it instead.

 

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We like giving our hens protein, after all.

“Take turns fighting with your brother.”

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Yet another thing I didn’t expect I’d find myself saying to my kids. (Along with “Is anyone missing their snake head.”)

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While school was still in session, my daughters were having a hard time getting work done because their brother kept wanting to pool noodle light saber fight them. They tried to decline his invitation due to prior responsibilities, but he was having none of that schooling nonsense. Read the rest of this entry

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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Many people are going to be annoyed that this post isn’t about what they think it will be about. Those of you who have been with me a long time already know what it’s going to be about.

Yep, Chex Mix.

The 99c sale was happening, so I hurried on my way, having discovered that my local grocer once again is stocking The Good Stuff: not just any Chex Mix, but Cheddar a.k.a. Heaven in a Bag.

The first day of the sale, I got there too late. Only two Traditional and one Bold were left on the shelf. So I went back two days later and scored this:

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Seven bags of Cheddar Chex Mix in all its Golden Glory.

When I got home, I announced, “I return triumphant!” My oldest daughter’s eyes lit up like she’d just witnessed the most amazing magic trick ever.

Youngest Daughter asked, “Did you see that one guy you know there and tell him they needed to refill the shelf?” Read the rest of this entry

I didn’t spill o.j. in Japan.

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“Oops!” my nine-year-old said as she opened the orange juice.

“Did you spill it everywhere?” I asked.

“Not everywhere,” she said. “I didn’t spill it in Japan.”

Can’t argue with that logic.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. (I’m just going to pretend you’ve noticed and have been concerned.) Now I seriously want that delicious looking glass of o.j. With a little something extra in it. Triple sec? Amaretto?

What’s your drink of choice?

Let’s just try this again, shall we?

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Here’s what happened:

Our Aristocats book was lightly scribbled in by one of my daughters years ago, like so:

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When Joe asked about it, I told him his sister had done it. The next day, I discovered more scribbles, like so:

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“Joe, did you scribble in this book?” Parenting note: I already knew the answer to this question, so I shouldn’t have worded it in such a way that would encourage him to lie. Nevertheless, it was the first shocked response to come out of me.

He responded: “No.”

“Oh really?” I said. “Then who did?”

“My sister.”

“Your sister is old enough now to know better. I know you did this, Joe. Would you please say, ‘I’m sorry I colored in the book'”? Read the rest of this entry

Alive and chippin’

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masksRecent conversation with a friend:

Me: I laugh at all these gaining-weight-due-to-quarantine memes, but then looked down at my stomach and thought, “Oh.”
I wondered where the tummy was coming from as I reached into the cupboard for my nightly potato chips…
Friend: You only live once. 🙂
Me: It will be a shorter life if I die in a pile of potato chip crumbs…. 😉
Me: Instead of flowers, people will bring Ruffles and Lays to my grave site.
Me: Ooooohhhh…. Can I just have that now??

Read the rest of this entry

Nap time for Mommy

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Out of energy, I flopped myself down on the couch. Of course, that’s about when my son woke up from his nap. One of the older children retrieved him from his crib, and he found me.

Rather than demand I get up and play with him, he gave me a stuffed kitten and laid his beloved blankie across my back.

“Should I read you a story?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” I said.

He grabbed the book, Dear Zoo, and read it quite well from memory.

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“Would you like a song now?” he asked. Read the rest of this entry