We were talking about foxes and my youngest jumped in with, “Speaking of wolves, I saw a polar bear!”
I do not understand how her mind works.
Here are two jokes I heard recently. Stop me if you’ve heard them. (ha!)
A doctor tells a man he has cancer. The man says, “I want a second opinion!” The doctor says, Read the rest of this entry
I had another one of those dreams in which I’m a superhero, er…mom.
Do you recall my post, “Now this is just pathetic” in which I heroically clean my kids’ closet and under their dressers? Well, my ever-exciting subconscious was at it again last night. But it did get a little better. There was a high-speed chase, at least. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve just given birth! Look at them all. Aren’t they beautiful? And all redheads! Twenty-five of them! Octomom has nothing on me. I’m not even sure there’s a word for giving birth to 25 at once. It’s more like a litter of puppies. That would make me a … Nooooope, never mind!
Read the rest of this entry
And I was quite annoyed since whoever it was probably wasn’t heeding my semi-miraculous “No soliciting” sign. (Miraculous when it works.)
Since I still haven’t managed to train my puppies not to run at bark at the doorbell, they called, “There’s someone here, Mom!” as though I didn’t already know from the doorbell.
So much for hiding until they leave.
“Is it someone you know?” I always ask them.
“No,” they said.
At that point, since only a deaf person would believe no one was home, I peeked out the window. I’ve been known to brazenly ignore salesmen even when I know full well they know we’re home. I even walked openly past the window once, until the dude, after several rings, finally took the hint and left.
Not my finest moment.
Or was it?
But when I peeked this time, I knew I had to open the door. There was a cop, with the cop car in the driveway just to confirm.
Hellooooooooooo, officer! (Sorry, hon. Couldn’t resist.)
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My husband was in the back yard one evening watering the fruit trees. Over the fence, he could see and hear that the neighbor’s trampoline was being put through its paces. Then he recognized the voice of our neighbor down the street, the father of two young boys.
Picture it like this only at night and with real children. And a surrounding net because their parents aren’t barbarians. [Pic from funny-pictures.picphotos.net.]
“Boys! What are you doing over here? You’re supposed to be in bed! Get back inside quickly before your mother gets home!” Read the rest of this entry
You’ve been warned. Now how many of you clicked this specifically because of the title, hmm??
So, the hubs and I were playing our new favorite game, Bananagrams, when one of the girls tooted nearby. (She did not do so with her mouth, if you know what I mean.) A few minutes later, it happened again.
“Do you need to go potty?” I asked her. Read the rest of this entry
There’s a camel farm up a twisty mountain path about an hour from us. The place offers camel rides and an exotic bird show. Who can pass that up? It’s not often one gets a chance to ride a camel around here. And so…
I mean, why not, right?
There go my other two daughters.
There were only two exotic birds. The woman was a bird trainer for the San Diego Safari Park. She put on their bird shows. We watched the toucan catch pieces of papaya she threw to him.
And the cockatiel said hello, sang, danced, and did an impression of someone watching a car race by zooming his head to the side several times as though a car had just whizzed by. It was quite darling. Read the rest of this entry