The laundry gods are smiling upon me

Perhaps they’re just pleased that I’m finally washing all those clothes.

Here’s my laundry method. There’s a reason I’m spelling it out for you. Wait for iiiiiiiittttt!

1. Procrastinate until laundry basket is full to overflowing.

2. Pick up scattered articles of clothing that have fallen off the laundry heap and shove them back in the basket.

3. Heft the load to the washing machine.

4. Open washing machine…speed up steps here because you, presumably already know how to do laundry, and if not, you probably shouldn’t really be learning from me.

5. After I pour in the detergent, I set aside some large article of clothing, or, as in today’s example, a baby blanket, and put the detergent cup upside down on said article to drain out more of the good stuff while I fill the washer.

6. Fill the washer.

7. Lift up-turned detergent cup so as to toss in last item.

8. If you’re lucky, you will find that the laundry gods are smiling upon you:

Lost and Found

Sheriff to the rescue!

A county sheriff was explaining that it can take ten minutes to ten hours or more to find a lost child. He responded when a mother called saying she couldn’t find one of her children. The sheriff went to her house. She had eight children, and he could see from the doorway that the house was, in his words, “disheveled.” He asked if he could look around. He found

It’s laundry day, okay?!

I watched through the window as my son got off the school bus and walked across the street. I thought it rather odd that he was holding his hands up to his face, much like Macaulay Caulkin’s famous Home Alone picture. Intrigued, I went outside to greet him. When I got to the mail box, the cause of his shock became dreadfully apparent. There, at the end of our driveway, stood

Please, stop helping me!

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I was nearly finished folding laundry on the bed when my two-year-old ran past the doorway. “Please just keep going,” I thought to myself. But, no, she stopped in the hallway, having spotted me, and came back. I could have closed the door, but that would only have piqued her interest. I then worked feverishly to finish folding the last items and get them to the safety of the laundry basket before my daughter got her hands on them, but to no avail.

“Stop helping me!” I said. “No, it’s okay. I got this!” But the feisty little

This one wins the “Arg!” award

I had just finished two loads of the kids’ laundry and put it all neatly away, as well as organizing the soon-to-be-born’s clothes in the drawers. I hate laundry, and it was a huge accomplishment for me to have it all done and organized. Not five minutes after leaving their tidy dresser behind to work on lunch,