The universe strikes another blow

I thought I’d finally gotten a leg up. (Man, these Jiu-Jitsu puns are writing themselves!) I went to another Saturday class, did as a BBB advised, and just inserted myself in with the guys.

“Mind if I squeeze in here?” I asked two stretching against the wall.

“Oh, sure,” one said and scooched over a bit.

Seeing these same guys two weeks in a row helps, I think. They’re hopefully getting more used to the Girl in their Midst. (In case you’re unsure, yes, I was going for a Gorilla in the Mist thing there.)

One guy I recognized from the previous Saturday was assigned to me by Instructor, so he had no choice but to partner with me. That was basically fine. Then, just like last Saturday, Lopez showed up late. I don’t know if he was told to, or if he jumped in with me on his own, but my previous partner melted in to a group elsewhere without a word. Maybe with a breath of relief? Who knows.

Lopez, as I’ve mentioned, is great. I was happy to show off my white stripe. “Hey, great! Congratulations,” he said, and the rest of the class passed without incident.

Then Monday’s daytime class was mysteriously canceled. I tried to make it to the evening class, but I just couldn’t swing it. (Eh, maybe a pseudo-pun. That seems more appropriate for a Taekwondo post.)

Then this morning I checked the course calendar and discovered this:

Gracie Combatives March calendar. Notice anything missing?

Where was my 11:00???

I texted Instructor.

Rooster lays an egg

Remember this pic? The one where I told Chicken Lady that the brown one on the right looked far more rooster-like than the other supposedly same age, same breed bird on the left?

She assured me they were both hens. I was skeptical.

The other day, only four of the five chickens were in the chicken run area. Where was the fifth? Wait! It’s in the roost! Hang on. That’s the one that looks like a rooster. Is it possible it’s just hanging out up there, needing a break from all those females? (My husband with three daughters could relate.)

A couple of short funnies and a missed opportunity. Maybe.

I relayed to Hubby a conversation with a friend about how I wasn’t particularly interested in living to a ripe old age. She responded snippily, “Then I hope you die young.”

Hubby lovingly responded: “Too late for that.”

~~~

I was listening with earbuds to one of my new favorite songs, “Trees” by Twenty One Pilots. (Linked to save you the trouble, M.) The last few seconds pretty much enrapture me. I was thus fully engaged when Hubby came over and said something I didn’t hear. I held up a “just a moment” finger, not wanting to interrupt those last few glorious seconds.

Then I felt like a jerk, so I pulled out an earbud to listen to him. “So we only got one egg today? Bummer,” and he walked away.

Sure enough, more crowing

We knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time, but since there are now eight little chickens in the coop, isolating the rascals, I mean, roosters, is tough. I heard two different weak crowing attempts, as they’re just stretching their wings, so to speak. But also literally. I saw feathers unfurled on two birds right after the crowing. Next problem: we have three brown and three white, so unless I’m an ornithologist armed with tags, how will I know which birds these were when I’m ready to get rid of them?

But first, I need to back up.

We took the last of the big roosters back to the Chicken Lady. Since it was full-grown, I was hoping for two small birds in exchange, but she only gave us one.

Who you looking at?

Yeah, I’m talking to you!

Because I know you’ve been losing sleep over this

I texted the Chicken Lady: We have another rooster. He is a fine looking specimen… If I were a few decades younger and a hen… Anyway, could we just bring him back to you?

CL: Hahaha [laughing crying face] yes of course.

We arrived with roses from our garden to grease the skids, and she seemed delighted with them. When she saw the rooster she said, “Wow, that is a beautiful bird. You sure you don’t want to keep him?”

We didn’t, but I agreed. He truly was magnificent to behold. I honestly stared at him for a while, as his multi-hued plumage shimmered in the sunlight.

And then we gave him the boot.

This picture doesn’t do him justice. I’m not one to fawn over birds, but, this guy…

In addition to the roses and rooster, we brought back one of the new chicks. Thanks to superb chicken sex-identifying advice from Jacqui of Word Dreams, Hubs and I spread the chicks’ wings to try to ID any potential roosters. One was for sure a hen–uneven wings, and one really seemed likely to be a rooster–even wings. The rest were a little unclear, so we decided to leave them for now and hope for the best.

I expected her to give us a new chick to swap out, but instead she gave us two. Not complaining. We’re back to ten birds after starting with seven, four of whom were roosters.

The two new ones are in front. I was told they were born the same day as the ones we got last time, but look how much smaller they are! Whatever!

I woke up this morning to blissful silence.

Until another rooster crowed.

Make that five out of seven roosters. You don’t even want to know how much we’ve spent on chicken feed these past few months raising these useless birds. Sigh.

We had such high hopes for this one being a hen, but alas, ’twas not to be. He was just awaiting his chance to be the alpha bird and reveal his true colors. Will we keep him? Will we return him? The saga continues. Stay tuned!

The conversation with the chicken lady

Remember my daughter sitting by the coop trying to discover which chicken was crowing? Well, she did. And then caught a different one crowing, too.

I decided to contact the seller and first ask if she still had hens.

CL: Yes, I have plenty. When are you able to come by?

Me: Great! I was actually wondering if I could exchange some of the hens we got from you, as they turned out to be roosters.

CL: How many roosters do you want to exchange?

Me: I’m not entirely sure yet how many are roosters. Two were caught in the act of crowing. Others look suspicious.

CL: Sometimes hens start crowing to assert their dominance.

Eh, what?

Me: Well, here are the two that crowed.