Here comes my son!

And the horn’s going off in 5… 4… 3…2…

I have a theory that good kids are just saving up their badness for high school. That seems to be what happened with my son, who had always been a good boy. Then, when he was a senior, he kind of went nuts.

There was a party he really wanted to go to. Because the circumstances were shady, i.e. I was given few details and was, we’ll say, highly discouraged from calling the mother of the friend whose house the party would be at, I forbade him to go.

Naturally, he was displeased. So, on the night in question, when I discovered he had left the house, I called his cell phone. Amazingly, he answered, and I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to turn around this instant. You know the drill. But what happened next was something neither of us could have predicted.

Two stories for the price of one!

When it was bedtime for us, the parents, we walked down the hallway, only to hear quick, startled movements from our children’s bedroom. My husband cracked the door open and peered in. All was silent for a moment, then, slowly, two sets of eyes appeared, one from under a pillow, another from beneath a blanket. “Uh-oh! Danger!” said the five-year-old.

My husband chuckled. Bolstered by his reaction, the younger daughter brought her entire head out of hiding with a grin and said,

Parental Manipulation, 101

When my two-year-old daughter was throwing a fit, I took hold of her and looked her in the eyes, saying, “You WILL talk to Mommy nicely.”

With no hesitation, she got three inches from my face, tilted her head to the side and said,

Well, he does have a point.

When I was having a stern conversation with my four-year-old son, saying, “God knows what’s in your heart,” the boy replied,

Oh, Child Protective Services!

When my daughter was about four-years-old, we were out at a restaurant eating dinner.  She kept misbehaving, and I told her that if she continued with her bad behavior she would receive a spanking.  She looked right at me and misbehaved again, so I picked her up to carry her to the restroom and give her a stern talking to and (maybe) a spanking.  As we are walking through the restaurant,