Don’t read this one if you’ve just eaten.

With our fifth child, I stopped carrying a diaper bag around. I just stuff a diaper and a baggie of wipes in my purse. The problem with this is that I have only one diaper and if I use it, I sometimes forget to refill my purse before leaving again.

Well, this time we were at our cabin for the last time this summer and were eating out at a local restaurant. Andrew had eaten corn out of a can earlier that day and a lot of something else I can’t remember. We were all sitting down enjoying our burgers when Andrew ripped a loud one. For some reason I didn’t think anything of it; we just snickered a little bit and finished our meal.

Something from the concession stand?

Day 16 – Cap’n Crunch Berries Cereal (Photo credit: ohdearbarb)

When our oldest boy was two, we had time to watch movies.  We would put one in and turn the lights down. While we watched, he would play nearby.  One evening, as we were on the couch and our son was playing, something different happened.  As many parents probably know, with kids there is sometimes cereal on the floor.  This time there happened to be a Captain Crunch type. My son walked over and held out his hand, and, being the good dad I try to be, I accepted the crunch berries from him and didn’t think anything of it.  That is, until I realized the crunch berries were squishy.

Guess the closest and win a $25 Discover card!

Do NOT try this at home. Because that would be cheating.

So far the range of guesses I’ve received has been 60  to 2,012. I’ll give you a hint: It’s somewhere in between!

Size 4 diapers in a 2002 Ford Focus

Compliments of Huggies and Costco, this trunk is stuffed full of diapers! Guess how many size 4 diapers are in the trunk and win your choice of a $20 Jamba Juice card or a $25 MyPass Discover card used at multiple stores, movie theaters, hotels, restaurants, and more.)

Who ever guesses closest to the correct number wins!

Make your guess in the comment section below or by emailing parentingisfunny@gmail.com by 11:59 p.m. PST on March 23rd, 2012. (Only one guess per person, please.) The winner will be notified by email.

Good luck!

All in a day’s work

In the morning I discovered my 22-month-old had unrolled all the toilet paper into the toilet, thus forcing me to reach in and pull the bulk of it out by hand so as not to clog the drain when flushed.

At nap time, I heard her calling from her room. She had stripped down to the skin. Poop was on her sheets, body, crib, blankets, and wall. All she had to say for herself was,

She was clearly never a Boy Scout

I don’t even like carrying a purse, so a diaper bag was pretty much out of the question when I went to visit the parents of an old boyfriend with my newborn son. Naturally he decided to have a megapoop–out the sides of the diaper, all over himself, and me. I had nothing with me,

Definitely monkey business

When I was raising children in the ’40s, back before the invention of children’s carseats, it was okay to leave your kids in the car unattended. In the middle of a lengthy road trip, my wife and I decided to let the kids eat the road rations; we were going to stop at a restaurant for dinner. So we found a nice place, and watched the kids play in the station wagon from the restaurant window.

We couldn’t believe our luck. The children appeared to be very happy and having a great time together in the car. No fighting, no biting, and not once did one of us need to go outside to discipline. We enjoyed our meal leisurely.

Always a silver lining

I had a lot of shopping to do and was hauling my son out of the car when I realized I should change his diaper. To save time I just pulled his pants down a little and slapped a diaper on him and hustled into the store.