Tag Archives: Chex Mix

If you need an excuse, make it a good one.

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If you need an excuse, make it a good one.

My mom nearly forgot my daughter’s birthday. Her card arrived a few days late, but she was prepared with her excuse.

Here’s what came in the envelope:

It reads: “Happy birthday, Elise! No, this card is not late! Check the date! [Much earlier than when it was actually written.] Mailed in plenty of time. It is the postman’s fault! (See enclosed letter.)”

And so, the enclosed letter from “Harold Postman”:

“It is my fault. The snow is high, seven feet high, and I could not see the mailbox. Do not blame your kind and beautiful grandmother. (I cannot believe she is a grandmother, she looks so young.) Now snow melted and I find letter. -Harold Postman”

That’s how you write an excuse with flair.

A blogger who knows who he is, has talked about Dot’s pretzels and how superb they are (probably even erroneously claiming their superiority to my beloved Chex Mix). I didn’t give much thought to Dot’s, as they seemed to be local to his area.

But, lo and behold:

There’s Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels on the top shelf for $7?! And waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy down on the bottom shelf, unimposing and humble, are the Chex Mix on sale for $1.

Now, now, folks, let’s not assume Dot’s has superiority based on perceived value due to cost and shelf placement. Yes, Mark, I was tempted, but, no, I didn’t buy your favored over-priced snack of choice.

I will, however, keep an eye on it in case it goes on sale to something reasonable! Then I’ll give it a try. Maybe. Perhaps. Probably.

Anyone eat anything new and interesting lately?

What’s the best excuse you’ve ever given or received?

Is my Mom great, or what? (Yes, Mom, I can see you beaming from here.)

So sweet. So innocent. So… wait.

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Look! I made a slideshow!

Image 1: What’s Darth Vader holding?

Image 2: Oh, that’s nice. It’s a flower.

Image 3: Joe: “It’s not a flower. It’s a bomb that explodes people.”

Yep. That’s my son, folks.

I recently visited a larger version of the store where I normally buy Chex Mix. Curious, I wandered into the snack aisle to see what varieties of Chex Mix there might be.

Behold! Varieties I didn’t even know existed!

Buffalo Ranch and Ghost Pepper Chex Mix!

Did you know Chex Mix made these flavors? Would you try the Buffalo Ranch with “Flavor Blasted Spicy Buffalo Chex Pieces + Ranch Chex Mix” or the “Hot and Spicy” (ya think?) Ghost Pepper with “Danger” and “Scary Hot” written on the packaging?

Look! I made a poll!

Co-writing a novel

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Co-writing a novel

These two are writing a book together in a google doc. Because they can see what the other is typing, as she’s typing it, when one misspelled a word on her computer, the other corrected it on her own. Then the first wrote in the doc, “Show off,” and they both started laughing.

While they were washing dishes earlier, I heard them discussing what hair color to give a particular character.

“Red hair.”

“But James has red hair.”

“What about black?”

“Eww.”

I chimed in with, “How about strawberry blond?”

“Oooh, let’s do that,” said one.

“Yes,” agreed the other.

“You know why?” I said.

Read the rest of this entry

Expert customer service

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In the check-out line at Costco, a young employee asked with a completely straight face:

“The item at the top of your cart–will that be to purchase or for return?”

“I didn’t realize returns were an option on those,” I said.

Again, with nary a mouth twitch, he said, “If you have the original receipt.”

Read the rest of this entry

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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Many people are going to be annoyed that this post isn’t about what they think it will be about. Those of you who have been with me a long time already know what it’s going to be about.

Yep, Chex Mix.

The 99c sale was happening, so I hurried on my way, having discovered that my local grocer once again is stocking The Good Stuff: not just any Chex Mix, but Cheddar a.k.a. Heaven in a Bag.

The first day of the sale, I got there too late. Only two Traditional and one Bold were left on the shelf. So I went back two days later and scored this:

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Seven bags of Cheddar Chex Mix in all its Golden Glory.

When I got home, I announced, “I return triumphant!” My oldest daughter’s eyes lit up like she’d just witnessed the most amazing magic trick ever.

Youngest Daughter asked, “Did you see that one guy you know there and tell him they needed to refill the shelf?” Read the rest of this entry

Back by popular demand

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Many of you were disheartened by the thought of never again hearing stories of the Chex Mix Guy (CMG). Your comments on that last post were quite entertaining and endearing. For instance:

“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”

“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”

“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”

And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”

Happy chex mix

Happy Chex Mix

Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)

Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.

I didn’t care. Normally I would care, but with this guy, I didn’t care. Read the rest of this entry

The Chex Mix meets its end

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I recently started taking Chex Mix with me to parties–a sure fire way of being invited back. Since there were a lot of parties for the holidays, I ran out and hit my local store to replenish my supplies. The Chex Mix Guy (CMG) had ordered a box of both Cheddar and Honey Nut for me back in October, housing them in his office, while I slowly chipped away at them.

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Crying Chex Mix

Amidst the regular shopping I did first, I glanced down at the Chex Mix shelf and saw, amongst the black and blue of Bold and Boring (aka Traditional) the golden hues of my sacred flavors.

Betrayal!

I marched to the customer service desk and asked the lady to call CMG’s office. She got him on the phone and relayed the message: “A customer wants to know if you put out all of her Chex Mix.”

Here I’m grinning stupidly, thinking this must be one of the most bizarre statements this woman has ever made. That, and I’m imagining what CMG’s reaction must be.

After a pause, she says, “Okay,” hangs up, and tells me, “He’ll be right down.” Read the rest of this entry

On grocery clerks and birthdays

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Have any of you made friends with the staff at your local grocery store? (If you have, tell me in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.) The meat guy at one place always says hi and makes small talk. One of the check-stand ladies in the same store calls me “girlfriend” or “little momma.”

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Remember this guy? Exhibit A: Boy

Another lady, when I was pregnant with Joe, said that she was telling her daughter, “You know the lady with three girls, two are redheads? She’s having a BOY!” Not only are we chummy, she talks about me to her daughter—wild.

Then, of course, there’s the CM Guy, who can’t seem to be rid of me. On my last visit to his store, there were two lanes open—neither manned by him. But, since both lines were backed up, the checker in my lane picked up her phone and called, “Check stand help,” or something.

A minute later, scurry scurry—because that is the only word that accurately describes the CM Guy’s speedy and purposeful walk. The man takes his job seriously.

So he scurries past the bagging side of the check stands, lifts and arm to point, and says, “I can take the next customer over here.”

Since I, as fate would have it, was the next customer, I moved over, saying, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“For you, yes. At least, that’s what I’ll say to your face.” Read the rest of this entry

“You again.”

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“You again,” the Chex Mix Guy said with a smile. “Is there a sale on I don’t know about?” (If you missed it, you can read the first installment of the Chex Mix Guy saga here.)

I gestured toward my few non-Chex Mix items displayed on the conveyor belt before him. “You’d know it if there were.” He’d already scanned my, ahem, two cartons of ice cream.

chexmix“What you got last time should last you a few months.”

“I don’t know about months,” I said. “Maybe weeks.”

He nodded his agreement.

“Did you read the latest post about you?”

“Yes, but what about from the last time you were here?” he said.

“I was going to, but I thought people might be getting tired of these stories.”

“There should be a post every time you come,” he said.

So, in compliance with my enabler supplier, that’s what happened yesterday. The time before that, when I arrived at the store on the appointed day–the day highlighted and circled several times on my calendar–the day, you guessed, that my special shipment of Rain Check Cheddar Chex Mix was due to arrive, I first headed to the produce section to pick up some plums. (See, I can buy healthy stuff too.)

Someone scurried past me. I turned to look. Read the rest of this entry

The saga continues

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I’m talking about, you guessed it, Chex Mix.

The sale was even better this week: 88c instead of the usual 99. (Girlfriend loves a bargain.) So I trotted my way to the appropriate aisle, and lo and behold–empty, as in, M-T. Not even a straggler hiding at the back of the shelf. You know I checked.

I bought my other items and headed for the check out line. As fate would have it, the only non-express lane was manned by none other than The CM Guy.

“I’d like to lodge a complaint with the manager,” Read the rest of this entry