Tag Archives: embarrassing parenting stories

Crazy things my kid said

Standard

We visited my parents at their new home in New Mexico. It was definitely spacious and went beyond the needs of two people. Nonetheless, my darling seven-year-old announced: “Our house is much bigger. When we get home, I’m going to be like, ‘Our house is so nice!'”

Groan.

HPIM1419

On a walk in my parents’ ‘hood. So incredibly peaceful and quiet here.

Another time she said, “These eggs are delicious, Nagy Mama.” (Hungarian for grandma)

“Why, thank you!”

“Because I like things that are burnt.”

Facepalm!

HPIM1346

The view from their front yard. I got to watch the sun setting on these hills every night. Gorgeous!

Read the rest of this entry

Advertisements

Hamster juice

Standard

At my daughter’s birthday party, we discussed cake decorating.

In honor of my daughter’s best birthday present, someone said, “You could just put the hamster on the cake.”

E, my youngest, said, “Then you might get hamster juice on it.” After a long pause, she added, “That’s hamster pee.”

“Yes, we got it. Thank you,” I said to her.

Somehow that spurred her onward instead of silencing her. Read the rest of this entry

The little dears.

Standard

Here are a couple of gems from my friends:

“Son: Mommy, does your name have any L’s like mine?
Mom: Let’s sound it out and see!
Son: Aim–ee… nope, no L’s.
Mom: Great job!
Son: So how about we call you “Lame-y”?
‪#‎middleschoolflashbacks‬
Read the rest of this entry

Pardon?

Standard

You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”

Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.

I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.

I said, “What?”

She said her thing again.

I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry

Forget I asked

Standard

A friend in Florida texted me this story:

I put on my knee-length dress before realizing I hadn’t shaved my legs. It was far too hot to wear hose, so I asked my young daughter if she could see the short prickly hairs, hoping I could get away without shaving.

She said, “Yes, Mommy, but Read the rest of this entry

Being deflated by a four-year-old

Standard

Getting dressed in the morning in my home doesn’t always happen. The rule is, you must be dressed by lunch, and if the kids are okay with a late lunch then….

Not being a great role model in this regard–I mean, why bother taking off the clothes you’ll just be putting back on in a few hours, am I right?–I tried one day to be better.

“Let’s see who can get dressed first!” I called to my girls enthusiastically.

“I’m halfway there!” I soon announced from my room.

“One more arm hole to go!”

Then, triumphantly, I stood in their bedroom doorway, arms raised, announcing, “I win!”

My half-dressed youngest said disdainfully, Read the rest of this entry

Have we met?

Standard
Hey, you're a Phil, too?

Hey, you’re a Phil, too?

We had friends over for a game night recently. One of our guests was Phil. He relayed a story of having met the San Diego Chargers’ quarterback Philip Rivers… for the second time. You see, he had met this preeminently famous San Diegan once before and, on the second meeting, forgot. his. name. Mind you, this friend’s name is Phil. The quarterback’s name is Phil-ip. You’d think that would be memorable to a Phil, right? But not only, on his second meeting, did he ASK PHILIP RIVERS HIS NAME!!!!! But then he asked, Read the rest of this entry