Tag Archives: embarrassing parenting stories

Being deflated by a four-year-old

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Getting dressed in the morning in my home doesn’t always happen. The rule is, you must be dressed by lunch, and if the kids are okay with a late lunch then….

Not being a great role model in this regard–I mean, why bother taking off the clothes you’ll just be putting back on in a few hours, am I right?–I tried one day to be better.

“Let’s see who can get dressed first!” I called to my girls enthusiastically.

“I’m halfway there!” I soon announced from my room.

“One more arm hole to go!”

Then, triumphantly, I stood in their bedroom doorway, arms raised, announcing, “I win!”

My half-dressed youngest said disdainfully, Read the rest of this entry

Have we met?

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Hey, you're a Phil, too?

Hey, you’re a Phil, too?

We had friends over for a game night recently. One of our guests was Phil. He relayed a story of having met the San Diego Chargers’ quarterback Philip Rivers… for the second time. You see, he had met this preeminently famous San Diegan once before and, on the second meeting, forgot. his. name. Mind you, this friend’s name is Phil. The quarterback’s name is Phil-ip. You’d think that would be memorable to a Phil, right? But not only, on his second meeting, did he ASK PHILIP RIVERS HIS NAME!!!!! But then he asked, Read the rest of this entry

The wonders of the internet

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flat-worm_2152792b

My stomach hurts just looking at this.

My oldest was watching an educational video about flatworms. Yum! I watched the starfish one with her, but let her handle this video on her own. I had dinner to consider, after all.

When it was over she came to give me her report. This is what she learned about flatworms:

“Mommy, did you know that flatworms are both male and female? And when they mate, they fight each other. The loser has to Read the rest of this entry

My little lady

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For no other reason, I suppose, than because she could, my adorable three-year-old stood up on her chair during dinner, lifted her dress above her head and yelled, Read the rest of this entry

Kids are very observant.

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Biggest Butt Ever!

The caption on this photo was “Biggest Butt Ever!” That’s so rude to have taken this picture, but at least he didn’t say it out loud!

While we were living in an apartment, we didn’t know many of our neighbors, as I was one of the few stay-at-home moms around during the day.  We did come to recognize many faces, though, even though not personally acquainted.  One of these familiar faces belonged to a very heavy woman, whom my husband and three-year-old son found themselves standing behind in a grocery store check out line one fateful day. Read the rest of this entry

Lost and Found

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Police Car

Sheriff to the rescue!

A county sheriff was explaining that it can take ten minutes to ten hours or more to find a lost child. He responded when a mother called saying she couldn’t find one of her children. The sheriff went to her house. She had eight children, and he could see from the doorway that the house was, in his words, “disheveled.” He asked if he could look around. He found

Read the rest of this entry

“I have no idea where she learned that word,” the mother says innocently

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At dinner one night, we had potatoes and various vegetables with our meal. Seeing the proximity in color between the potatoes and cauliflower made me remember the time when my husband was heating up some left over mashed potatoes. Much to his chagrin while eating them, he discovered a rogue piece of cauliflower amongst his spuds, masterly disguising itself as a fellow tuber.

When I reminded him of that incident, my eight-year-old daughter said, “And when you found it, did you say, Read the rest of this entry