Here are a couple of gems from my friends:
“Son: Mommy, does your name have any L’s like mine?
Mom: Let’s sound it out and see!
Son: Aim–ee… nope, no L’s.
Mom: Great job!
Son: So how about we call you “Lame-y”?
#middleschoolflashbacks” Read the rest of this entry
You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”
Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.
I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.
I said, “What?”
She said her thing again.
I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry
A friend in Florida texted me this story:
I put on my knee-length dress before realizing I hadn’t shaved my legs. It was far too hot to wear hose, so I asked my young daughter if she could see the short prickly hairs, hoping I could get away without shaving.
She said, “Yes, Mommy, but Read the rest of this entry
Getting dressed in the morning in my home doesn’t always happen. The rule is, you must be dressed by lunch, and if the kids are okay with a late lunch then….
Not being a great role model in this regard–I mean, why bother taking off the clothes you’ll just be putting back on in a few hours, am I right?–I tried one day to be better.
“Let’s see who can get dressed first!” I called to my girls enthusiastically.
“I’m halfway there!” I soon announced from my room.
“One more arm hole to go!”
Then, triumphantly, I stood in their bedroom doorway, arms raised, announcing, “I win!”
My half-dressed youngest said disdainfully, Read the rest of this entry
Hey, you’re a Phil, too?
We had friends over for a game night recently. One of our guests was Phil. He relayed a story of having met the San Diego Chargers’ quarterback Philip Rivers… for the second time. You see, he had met this preeminently famous San Diegan once before and, on the second meeting, forgot. his. name. Mind you, this friend’s name is Phil. The quarterback’s name is Phil-ip. You’d think that would be memorable to a Phil, right? But not only, on his second meeting, did he ASK PHILIP RIVERS HIS NAME!!!!! But then he asked, Read the rest of this entry
My stomach hurts just looking at this.
My oldest was watching an educational video about flatworms. Yum! I watched the starfish one with her, but let her handle this video on her own. I had dinner to consider, after all.
When it was over she came to give me her report. This is what she learned about flatworms:
“Mommy, did you know that flatworms are both male and female? And when they mate, they fight each other. The loser has to Read the rest of this entry