
My mom nearly forgot my daughter’s birthday. Her card arrived a few days late, but she was prepared with her excuse.
Here’s what came in the envelope:

And so, the enclosed letter from “Harold Postman”:

That’s how you write an excuse with flair.
A blogger who knows who he is, has talked about Dot’s pretzels and how superb they are (probably even erroneously claiming their superiority to my beloved Chex Mix). I didn’t give much thought to Dot’s, as they seemed to be local to his area.
But, lo and behold:

Now, now, folks, let’s not assume Dot’s has superiority based on perceived value due to cost and shelf placement. Yes, Mark, I was tempted, but, no, I didn’t buy your favored over-priced snack of choice.
I will, however, keep an eye on it in case it goes on sale to something reasonable! Then I’ll give it a try. Maybe. Perhaps. Probably.
Anyone eat anything new and interesting lately?
What’s the best excuse you’ve ever given or received?
Is my Mom great, or what? (Yes, Mom, I can see you beaming from here.)
Your mother’s ingenuity has obviously been passed down to you. You both have a creative way with words. Very nice. As for Dot’s pretzels, I’ve never heard of them. But should I see them I will try them. I wouldn’t want to out of the pretzel loop, so to speak.
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You’re blog buds with Swinged Cat, too, right? We can form a pretzel brigade. š
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I’m in. [What does that involve exactly?]
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I guess it would involve the two of us ALSO trying Dot’s and letting each other know what we think. I know I’ve convinced Mark to try Chex Mix, so I guess this is fair turnabout.
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Perfectly reasonable to expect him to try Chex Mix. I’ll look for Dot’s but around here the brand I see most often is Husman’s Pretzels. š¤
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That’s also a new brand to me. I guess the three of us are just about as spread out as we could be in the continental US. We need to find co-conspirators in Maine and Florida next. š
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I’ll work on it. You can be sure of that. š„Ø
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š š
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Funny. I see where you get your sense of humor from.
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Yes, my mother likes to take credit for my humor often. š
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Aahh, that is well done by your mom. Not only a good excuse but one that evokes a whole investigation into the mail system and books like “Jolly Old Postman” and could be years of entertainment. š Well played, Grandma!!
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Grandma’s got skills, for sure. š
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Yes, honey-roasted sunflower seeds. Yum!
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Ooooh. That does sound tasty!
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Best excuse ever.
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Heehee. Thanks, LA.
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That is brilliant and hilarious!
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My mom is great. š Thanks for enjoying, Beth!
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Spot on.
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Thanks, tref. š
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Now that’s a pretty good excuse LOL… I’ve been on a crazy ramen kick from all the YouTube video trends lol
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Haha! Hey, good for the food budget! š
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For the record, Dot’s cost the same amount out here. Let me ask you this: can you really put a price tag on the best pretzel of your life?!
Your mom AND your mailman have a heckuva sense of humor, although if the mailman actually IS your mom, then she’s got twice the sense of humor!
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I guess I’ll have to find out for myself if they’re really The Best Pretzel of My Life.
My mom and “Harold” are one and the same.
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Ha! I figured as much.
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Sheās a funny lady (whoās getting a big head if sheās reading these comments).
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Best excuse ever! So that’s where you get your clever humor š š Never heard of Dots Pretzels. I’m not a big pretzel fan unless they come coated in almond bark or chocolate with color sugar sprinkles.
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I respect your sweet tooth, Julie. I can do sweet or salty, depending on my mood. I will turn down neither, however.
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That’s why coated pretzels are so brilliant! Salty and sweet at the same time š š
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Totally!
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Gosh, I love your mom! Her children are so blessed! I bet you just laughed all through childhood.
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Laugh, cried. Laugh, cried. I recall being told to “cry through your tears” often enough.
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Now I know where you got your sense of humor and creativity! That’s hysterical. Happy Birthday to your daughter… yes… late I know. But my excuse is that her mother didn’t post about it until waaay after the date! This post is evidence!
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It’s Harold’s fault that I posted this so late. š
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Betsy, too funny. A fellow employee arrived late, but her excuse was priceless. Her power went out, but she had a gas stove, so she turned it on and opened the oven door to warm the kitchen while she called the electric company. She was pacing as she called and soon forgot she opened the oven door and tripped over it. Surprisingly, she was not hurt, but was very late as she tended to her wounds. She was laughing at herself as she told us the story. It was one of those excuses no one would make up .
Keith
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Love it. Especially that she was laughing at herself. Those are the best stories. Good for her.
A friend told me about someone who used diarrhea as an excuse for not being in school when asked by an administrator. It was a lie, but one she knew wouldnāt be questioned!
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Betsy, well I would not question that reason. You are likely to young to remember, but when people thought Elvis was faking his death, they should have recognized Elvis would not fake a death sitting on the toilet. He would have chosen a different passing. Keith
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Very sound logic there, Keith.
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This is great! š
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Thanks, Jill. š
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I get late mail all the time and Harold has never sent me a letter … I’m going to have to have a little talk with him.
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That, Harold. You really gotta keep an eye on him.
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Your mom and Harold are the winners of the day!
ps….ditch the dots stick with chex.
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My curiosity for those pretzels, though… But the price. Sheesh!
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Wait for the sale PIF!!!! Don’t cave.
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Will do, CM!
Mmmmmm…. CM……. Oh, wait? What? What are we talking about? Oh, yeah, pretzels, not Chex Mix. Got it!
š
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š
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I checked today. Still $7. I wonder if they ever go on sale.
P.S. Saw sunflowers today. Thought of you. š
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If I ever see them cheaper you know I have to buy them. Though….I’ve never seen them ever….
And how wonderful that seeing a flower makes someone as wonderful as you think of me. That is an incredibly heartwarming thing to hear š»š
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Awh. Remember last fall when it was stepping on crunchy leaves that made me think of you and smile? š
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YES! and every time a child says something funny I think of you. (what a great way to be thought of!) š P is F !!!!
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⤠⤠⤠!!!
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Itās a joy to read this post.
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Such an honor to bring you joy, MTA!
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Wow, I get to correct a pro! It’s “lo! and behold”, not “low”.
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Did I really write low?! Haha! I’m going to fix that now. Thanks, Robert!
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I love that postman. Ours is nothing like him.
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Funny how he has the exact same writing as my mother, huh? š
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I missed that! Then I love your mom!
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She’s a riot. š
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Love your mother’s/postman’s note! One of the best excuse ones I’ve seen! My mother had to become very inventive with my notes for missing school until one day the teacher handed back a note to me which read: ‘My daughter did not come to school yesterday and was home.’ My attendance improved dramatically thereafter! š
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Hahahahaha! Kind of phoned that one in, huh? š
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Your mother sounds like a hoot!
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She really is. š
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Thatās how to send a belated birthday greeting!
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Right? I’m still learning from my mom. š
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Oh that is such a clever excuse! Your mother has a great imagination! At first I thought it was really true because the mail delivery around here has been horrible. Also – Dots pretzels. I’m going to look for them when I shop tomorrow, but I’ve never heard of them!
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I would never have heard of Dot’s pretzels if not for another blogger talking about how great they are. So now of course I’m tempted, but at that price?? I mean, they’d have to be really really good! If you do see them and buy them, please do let me know!
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I looked when I shopped on Monday but I didn’t see them. We have a couple regional pretzel manufacturers and they use up a lot of shelf space next to the usual brands. I’ll keep looking!
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I’m starting to think I need to stop reading blogs because now, in addition to this pretzel recommendation, someone else has informed me of the existence of Kettle brand dijon potato chips. I’m intrigued. I’m going to gain weight if I keep reading! (Especially if I’m munching while reading. š )
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Haha – I hear you (crunch crunch!) š Salty snacks are so tempting!
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Agreed! (crunch crunch!) š
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What a great note! And, I would have totally chosen the Chex Mix over the Dot’s–based solely on price. As far as anything interesting that I’ve eaten brand/snack wise: hmmm, well, I am about to order my once-a-year supply of summer candy: Tootsie Rolls with Fourth of July wrappers–they work for Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Then, it’s back to Halloween candy, which I just can’t get enough of:)
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That’s cute that you’re into candy. š And Fourth of July wrappers are a thing? Who knew?
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Hi Betsy, I am a little late responding since I have been off the grid for awhile. I love your post! The apple does not fall far from the tree. I realize you and Mark have this āthingā about specific snacks. I had some Dijon chips at my Sisterās place last year, so I associate these chips and a fun time. Thank you for my smile. š
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Oh, wow, Dijon chips sound really good. I recently discovered Parmesan cheese Kettle chips, and they were amazing! Thank you for stopping by and sharing the smile. š
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Kettle brand, honey djon. I am not usually a chip eater, yet these are in a different category. I will think about you next time I devour……..plus wearing my new running socks š
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Oooh…that was not one of the flavor options at my store! I didn’t realize it was also Kettle brand. (I’ve also tried the dill pickle flavor–not bad.) I’ll have to check another store for that now. TWO snack items on my list!
New running socks! Yeah! Go you! š š
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Your encouragement helped me open the ‘new’ package. š
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I’m glad! And are you loving them? Though, gotta admit, if it turned out you didn’t like them, that would be pretty funny. š
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I tested negative for ADHD 2 years ago, but the report said, āShe may have a chronic tendency to misjudge time.ā (Translation: Chronically Fashionably Late). Tired of the same excuses signing my kid into school 2 minutes late last week, I put in the excuse section, āABDUCTED BY ALIENS.ā My kid came home that afternoon and asked if I put something about aliens in the excuse; I admitted guilt and asked why. He said they pulled him into the office and asked him if he got abducted by aliens. He was so caught off guard, he stared blankly and said, āI donāt know…ā which fueled the small-town hysteria. He didnāt understand why I was laughing my head off at his spontaneous answer, so I had to explain why alien accounts often involve erased memories!
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This is SO AWESOME!!!!! OMG, best.Comment.Evahhh!!! Thank you for making me laugh my head off, SSM!
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Your mom is great, though I donāt picture the mailman writing in cursive! Dotās Pretzels arrived in the CLE just in time for Xmas 2020. Yes, they are the priciest junk food in history. Marcās sells them at a discounted price of $5.99, I believe. Based on our mutual friendās reviews, I bought a few bags to put in my kidsā gourmet gift baskets. My pregnant daughter claimed they got her through some nausea in the first trimester!
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Wow! I’m super impressed that they helped your daughter through the first trimester. The thing with me, though, is if it became a pregnancy food, I wouldn’t be able to stomach it non-pregnant. There’s a tea I was able to drink during that time, and now, when I smell it, I feel nauseous, even though my son is now three. So I guess pro and con: if I’d had it during that time–it would get me through, but I wouldn’t be able to eat them again. But then I would also save a lot on snack food money!
My family are all still in the area. They may still shop at the Marc’s in, I want to say, Fairlawn. I’ll ask them to look for Dot’s and give me an assessment. Or I suck it up and just buy a bag myself!
Thanks for stopping by, Bijoux!
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Fairlawn? My old stomping grounds! I know the Fairlawn Plaza quite well, but back when there was a Baskin & Robbins and Pagoda Gardens.
I get it with the pregnancy food. I havenāt touched French dressing in a few decades. Fortunately, itās no longer popular with anyone!
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So cool that we know the same place, though I’ve been away for nearly two decades now.
BTW, I commented on your blog as Betsy. I have yet to discover how blogger and wordpress play nicely together.
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Oh, I was wondering who that was. Thanks for letting me know.
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And now I don’t know how to get back to your blog. I feel like an 80 year old, all of a sudden. Pretty sure I subscribed, though.
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Thatās weird! Itās http://www.musingsfromtheburbs.blogspot.com
I post every other week or so. Iāll put you in my reader! Hope you post again soon, but I understand the kid thing!
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Now I know where you get your humor from! š¤£
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My mom is truly a riot.
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