If you need an excuse, make it a good one.

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If you need an excuse, make it a good one.

My mom nearly forgot my daughter’s birthday. Her card arrived a few days late, but she was prepared with her excuse.

Here’s what came in the envelope:

It reads: “Happy birthday, Elise! No, this card is not late! Check the date! [Much earlier than when it was actually written.] Mailed in plenty of time. It is the postman’s fault! (See enclosed letter.)”

And so, the enclosed letter from “Harold Postman”:

“It is my fault. The snow is high, seven feet high, and I could not see the mailbox. Do not blame your kind and beautiful grandmother. (I cannot believe she is a grandmother, she looks so young.) Now snow melted and I find letter. -Harold Postman”

That’s how you write an excuse with flair.

A blogger who knows who he is, has talked about Dot’s pretzels and how superb they are (probably even erroneously claiming their superiority to my beloved Chex Mix). I didn’t give much thought to Dot’s, as they seemed to be local to his area.

But, lo and behold:

There’s Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels on the top shelf for $7?! And waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy down on the bottom shelf, unimposing and humble, are the Chex Mix on sale for $1.

Now, now, folks, let’s not assume Dot’s has superiority based on perceived value due to cost and shelf placement. Yes, Mark, I was tempted, but, no, I didn’t buy your favored over-priced snack of choice.

I will, however, keep an eye on it in case it goes on sale to something reasonable! Then I’ll give it a try. Maybe. Perhaps. Probably.

Anyone eat anything new and interesting lately?

What’s the best excuse you’ve ever given or received?

Is my Mom great, or what? (Yes, Mom, I can see you beaming from here.)

91 responses »

  1. Your mother’s ingenuity has obviously been passed down to you. You both have a creative way with words. Very nice. As for Dot’s pretzels, I’ve never heard of them. But should I see them I will try them. I wouldn’t want to out of the pretzel loop, so to speak.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Aahh, that is well done by your mom. Not only a good excuse but one that evokes a whole investigation into the mail system and books like “Jolly Old Postman” and could be years of entertainment. πŸ™‚ Well played, Grandma!!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. For the record, Dot’s cost the same amount out here. Let me ask you this: can you really put a price tag on the best pretzel of your life?!

    Your mom AND your mailman have a heckuva sense of humor, although if the mailman actually IS your mom, then she’s got twice the sense of humor!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Now I know where you got your sense of humor and creativity! That’s hysterical. Happy Birthday to your daughter… yes… late I know. But my excuse is that her mother didn’t post about it until waaay after the date! This post is evidence!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Betsy, too funny. A fellow employee arrived late, but her excuse was priceless. Her power went out, but she had a gas stove, so she turned it on and opened the oven door to warm the kitchen while she called the electric company. She was pacing as she called and soon forgot she opened the oven door and tripped over it. Surprisingly, she was not hurt, but was very late as she tended to her wounds. She was laughing at herself as she told us the story. It was one of those excuses no one would make up .

    Keith

    Liked by 2 people

    • Love it. Especially that she was laughing at herself. Those are the best stories. Good for her.

      A friend told me about someone who used diarrhea as an excuse for not being in school when asked by an administrator. It was a lie, but one she knew wouldn’t be questioned!

      Like

  6. Love your mother’s/postman’s note! One of the best excuse ones I’ve seen! My mother had to become very inventive with my notes for missing school until one day the teacher handed back a note to me which read: ‘My daughter did not come to school yesterday and was home.’ My attendance improved dramatically thereafter! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh that is such a clever excuse! Your mother has a great imagination! At first I thought it was really true because the mail delivery around here has been horrible. Also – Dots pretzels. I’m going to look for them when I shop tomorrow, but I’ve never heard of them!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. What a great note! And, I would have totally chosen the Chex Mix over the Dot’s–based solely on price. As far as anything interesting that I’ve eaten brand/snack wise: hmmm, well, I am about to order my once-a-year supply of summer candy: Tootsie Rolls with Fourth of July wrappers–they work for Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Then, it’s back to Halloween candy, which I just can’t get enough of:)

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hi Betsy, I am a little late responding since I have been off the grid for awhile. I love your post! The apple does not fall far from the tree. I realize you and Mark have this β€˜thing’ about specific snacks. I had some Dijon chips at my Sister’s place last year, so I associate these chips and a fun time. Thank you for my smile. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I tested negative for ADHD 2 years ago, but the report said, β€œShe may have a chronic tendency to misjudge time.” (Translation: Chronically Fashionably Late). Tired of the same excuses signing my kid into school 2 minutes late last week, I put in the excuse section, β€œABDUCTED BY ALIENS.” My kid came home that afternoon and asked if I put something about aliens in the excuse; I admitted guilt and asked why. He said they pulled him into the office and asked him if he got abducted by aliens. He was so caught off guard, he stared blankly and said, β€œI don’t know…” which fueled the small-town hysteria. He didn’t understand why I was laughing my head off at his spontaneous answer, so I had to explain why alien accounts often involve erased memories!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Your mom is great, though I don’t picture the mailman writing in cursive! Dot’s Pretzels arrived in the CLE just in time for Xmas 2020. Yes, they are the priciest junk food in history. Marc’s sells them at a discounted price of $5.99, I believe. Based on our mutual friend’s reviews, I bought a few bags to put in my kids’ gourmet gift baskets. My pregnant daughter claimed they got her through some nausea in the first trimester!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wow! I’m super impressed that they helped your daughter through the first trimester. The thing with me, though, is if it became a pregnancy food, I wouldn’t be able to stomach it non-pregnant. There’s a tea I was able to drink during that time, and now, when I smell it, I feel nauseous, even though my son is now three. So I guess pro and con: if I’d had it during that time–it would get me through, but I wouldn’t be able to eat them again. But then I would also save a lot on snack food money!

      My family are all still in the area. They may still shop at the Marc’s in, I want to say, Fairlawn. I’ll ask them to look for Dot’s and give me an assessment. Or I suck it up and just buy a bag myself!

      Thanks for stopping by, Bijoux!

      Like

      • Fairlawn? My old stomping grounds! I know the Fairlawn Plaza quite well, but back when there was a Baskin & Robbins and Pagoda Gardens.

        I get it with the pregnancy food. I haven’t touched French dressing in a few decades. Fortunately, it’s no longer popular with anyone!

        Liked by 1 person

      • So cool that we know the same place, though I’ve been away for nearly two decades now.

        BTW, I commented on your blog as Betsy. I have yet to discover how blogger and wordpress play nicely together.

        Like

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