My Birthday, Part 1: What Was Supposed to Happen


My birthday last year was amazing. I got The Band to play, we had an epic snowball battle with fake snowballs, my neighbor made tattoos of my face

I thought, why not repeat that again this year? If it ain’t broke, you know?

So, months in advance, I was happy to secure the band and the venue. This year was going to be even better because the band’s guitarist was graciously letting me be Birthdayzilla by requesting that certain songs make the set list, while others not so much. (“Stacy’s Mom” does not have it going on in my book.)

I also bought two of these:

A blow-up beach ball that you stick a glow stick inside. How fun for an outdoor night-time event, no?

Also, since I blew it last year and didn’t take advantage of my pull with the band by requesting “Smells Like Teen Spirit” for Neighbor and me to dance on a table to, I made certain it would make the cut this year. “Not a problem,” Guitarist had said with a smile.

All was looking golden, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Then this…

Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! And thanks for spelling my name wrong. But also, noooooooooo!!!!!

Could the band do a different date? No. I tried, they tried, we all tried to find another venue for that date, but with only a couple of weeks lead time, everything was, of course, booked.

My bartender friend told me, it’s not that I was put on “the wrong calendar,” it’s that the owner doesn’t USE a calendar. He tries to keep everything in his head. So when Bartender, on my behalf, asked about the date, again, months ago, the owner assured him that day was free.

I tried to stay hopeful, but it just wasn’t looking good.


At least he got my name right this time.

Notice the date on this one? Three days notice.

I texted the guitarist, stiiiiiiilll clinging to a bit of hope. He responded that the bassist had been putting off a work trip because of the gig, but when it seemed pretty clear there wasn’t going to be a gig, he booked his trip.

All hope died.

I texted Bartender: “What’s really going on here?”

He responded: “The other dude got Covid.”

So, the brewery owner flat out lied to me to save face. When I relayed this story to a friend, he said, “Can you blame him?”

My answer was, “Yes, I can.” If he had been honest about his big score being canceled due to Covid, rather than making it seem like the other party was “being a pain,” I might have felt sorry for him. But, nope.

Also, he had to have gotten my number from Bartender in the first place. Did he not think I would get the real scoop from my inside man?

I’m thinking an unkind word that ends with “iot.” A part of me (a small part) was happy the band thing didn’t work out because I don’t feel like this guy, who canceled the band twice now and stiffed them once, Guitarist informed me, deserves our business. Hubby and I have decided we will never go there again.

So what’s your take, friends? Am I overreacting, or do I have a right to be ticked? Was this guy saving face excusable or is he just a punk? I welcome your feedback. And your condolences. You should probably start there. πŸ˜‰


82 responses »

  1. Condolences for sure. Such a bummer. And I think the not telling the truth is bad form. What is up with just not saying it straight?

    But I’m not sure I’d stop going. Because of the bartender and band. They have to work for the owner and that probably is made better by having delightful people like you all come in!

    And happy birthday!!! Wishing you all the best for the year to come!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have dealt with those whose names that end with “idiot” …or something like that. I think that’s a good move, plus nicely telling him about how you like honesty… okay, I can’t actually think of a way to do that nicely.

    Happy birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can’t stand people lying to me so, no, I wouldn’t go there again. What business owner… especially of a venue that books events regularly… doesn’t keep a calendar? Liar, cheater, unorganized, and bad speller… a big nope from me. (I have a former work colleague who owns a large brewpub with her husband up near you… I sure hope it wasn’t them.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Birthday bummer ☹️

    It seems like honesty right up front would have worked best. Also, why couldn’t the owner just say “I” messed up, it’s my fault. Etc. Why the stories and blaming others? That’s where I would be upset…. Why would you want to go back to a place that makes you unhappy?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a bummer! It’s so disappointing when you have something fun planned and it ends up a no go through no fault of your own. That’s wack that he lied about the cancellation. We would use meaner words for him…..just sayin!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Definitely condolences. And I’d be ticked, too. You expect a reputable business to be up front about situations. And COVID aside, just because your party wasn’t as large as the other one, doesn’t mean it wasn’t as important to you. Very shoddy business dealings on their part!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. omg nononono that’s just WRONG. You don’t have a calendar in your head like that when you have a business. That’s SO unprofessional. And so is lying. I HATE lying in any form. So they do not deserve your money. But late happy birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Who keeps a calendar in their head when it’s essential to their business? I’m sure another birthday someone has been similarly burned before, yet the owner didn’t learn from the experience (assuming the truth is anywhere nearby this story). Bad sign. Best to seek another venue/entertainment worth repeating in a year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • True on both counts, Mike.
      Not wounded, but my legs were so sore a couple days ago, I was walking a little funny. But that’s a good sore. πŸ™‚

      We’re in the final capybara count-down! Doot-doo-doot-doooo. (Hear the song in your mind.)


  9. Yes, I’m on your side. First of all, BE ORGANIZED and don’t blame other ppl for your disorganization! And you’re operating a business for crying out loud, be honest! He lost a great customer!!! Also, hope you have a wonderful birthday celebration, Betsy!!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So many things wrong here, from not being proper organised with his own business, to lying, to giving you very little notice timeβ€”you have every right to be pissed.

    When’s your birthday though? Last year’s post was September 14. Did I miss it? Anyway, happy belated birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: My Birthday Part 2: What Actually Happened | Motherhood and Martial Arts

  12. Pingback: From snowballs to softballs | Motherhood and Martial Arts

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