Back by popular demand


Many of you were disheartened by the thought of never again hearing stories of the Chex Mix Guy (CMG). Your comments on that last post were quite entertaining and endearing. For instance:

“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”

“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”

“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”

And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”

Happy chex mix

Happy Chex Mix

Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)

Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.

I didn’t care. Normally I would care, but with this guy, I didn’t care.

I have zero doubt he knew I was standing there, but he made a point of ignoring me while he assisted the customer ahead of me. This older gentleman was waiting on a runner with a new box of whatever because the one he grabbed was somehow defective. Therefore, he was around to witness this:

CMG: “Excuse me, ma’am.”

Oh no he didn’t!

“You have too many items for the express lane.”

The older gentleman looks at my supply of food stuffs, nods, and says, “That is a lot of items.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I say, but CMG cuts in.

“You need to put some back.”

I stare at him.


Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels

He grabs my box of Wheat Thins and tosses it onto the floor by my cart.

I look at the crackers then back at him, thinking, “What the heck?!” I expect the older gentleman was thinking the same thing.

CMG goes to retrieve the crackers, but I say, exasperated, “I’m getting it,” and pick it up first.

The older gentleman, waving a finger between CMG and me says, “I’m starting to get the idea that you two know each other.”

Now he’s catching on. Thank goodness or CMG’s about to get his behind demoted.

“He’s actually a nice guy,” I say. “He’s just giving me a hard time.”

And so I check out as normal, but, of course, CMG asks if I need more Chex Mix, knowing I purchased a mere 11 bags the week before. I tell him I think I’m good for a while.

He says, “I think so too,” and probably adds a silent prayer that I’ll be good on Chex Mix for a looooooooong while.

So, even though no Chex Mix was harmed in the making of this story, the tales of CMG continue.

See the abuse I take for you? You’re welcome. And though I didn’t find the cracker incident funny at the time, whenever I thought back on it, I laughed out loud, which is what I’m sure CMG was going for.

Can you imagine the cashier throwing your box of crackers on the floor? What would you have done? I’d say complain to the manager, but well…



47 responses »

  1. I would not have found the crackers on the floor very funny, Betsy. I might have paid for my groceries in spare change or tossed my bills over the conveyor onto the floor on his side. But it probably doesn’t make sense to start a war with the CMG; sounds like it could escalate and land you both in trouble. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I was imagining it like the opening of “Get A Life”, where Chris Eliott would deliberately throw the newspaper where the lady next door would have to bend over to pick it up, so he could look up her skirt. The Chris Eliott character did that demeaningly rather than out of any real interest in her.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. That’s a crazy story and I’m proud of you for not letting it get to you not too many people could do that 🙌 that CMG needs to calm down it was just Chex Mix 😤 great story though I’m gonna talk about it on my podcast 👊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wheat Thins are great, but not only they, but even the store brand knock-offs (also great) are so overpriced I hardly ever buy them. Eh, this is true of pretty much all baked snack goods and cold cereals these days. 40 years ago or even 30, most baked goods were fairly comparable in price, but then they must’ve realized they could mark up everything from cookies thru corn flakes to crackers to a degree we’d never put up with with just plain bread. Either that, or supermarkets are now using plain white sliced bread as a loss leader.

      Liked by 4 people

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