Awful things my kids said this week


Awful or awfully funny? You decide. Let me know in the comments.

We had guests over Sunday afternoon. One graciously explained to us about different phone plans. And providers. And phones themselves. And frequencies. And something about company buyouts. Plus a lot of numbers were being bandied about.

In other words, I was completely lost by about the third sentence. Maybe second.

Meanwhile, my children sat in the room with us listening patiently. Or so I thought.

When the dear fellow was finished downloading us with all this information, my youngest daughter said, “Finally. I wondered if he was breathing between words.”

I’m not sure if any of the adults in the room have laughed that hard in a long time.


Queen of spades courtesy of pixabay.

Except perhaps when we were playing the card game Tripoli and another daughter, not well-versed in the various suit names, laid down “the queen of hoes.”

After drying our eyes on our sleeves, we informed her that it is actually called the queen of spades.

Of course we try to teach our children manners.

Little Joe asked me for a bagel.

“Did you say, please?” I asked him pointedly.

“No, I didn’t,” he responded pleasantly.

He did not get a bagel.

Another time he said, “Give me my water cup.”

“May I have my water cup, please?” I corrected.

“Sure!” he said.


Any kids, or adults, say something funny in your world lately?


53 responses »

  1. The 6 year old – so eager for supper (but stuck making a number 2) – asked if she can eat on the toilet. This was followed by an “awwww” of disappointment after she heard the answer. The innocence of the moment was precious… even though it was a gross thought. 😣

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think you’re handling it perfectly. By laughing. Correcting and laughing can be very effective. DONT STOP THE FUNNY THINGS! You know….because it’s really all about me having something to read that makes me laugh. πŸ™‚ thank your children for me.


    Liked by 2 people

  3. LOL! Yeah like you say Parenting is Funny. πŸ™‚ I created an email address for my kids when they were very little. Very often I send them emails on the things they say just so when they are older and I share the password with them, they can read all the mind boggling stuff hey said. That is, only if they will be interested lol…

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yep, I hope I keep this blog around long enough for them to read it when they’re older. Even if I’m not still contributing to it, hopefully it will still be here. Then again, maybe I’ll be posting stories about my grandchildren by then!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. vAny kids, or adults, say something funny in your world lately?

    Why yes, as a matter of fact. There’s this blogger I read who recently shared some real gems her kids said. My favorite was the Queen of hoes! You should read her sometime…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. LOL! Your kids are so witty! Smart alecks, all of them, even Joe! We were on a trip to my brother’s wedding in Grand Forks, ND. The kids were little, my daughter about 4 or 5, my son a couple years older. When we got close to the state line, we told the kids to watch for the signs, and that we were in Minnesota, but were going to North Dakota. So after miles of this, answering “are we in North Dakota yet” and “are we still in Minnesota” questions, my daughter pipes up: Where’s big sota?

    I so wish I could have recorded that! We still laugh about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I actually wanted to post a few more, but only found the list I made just now
    Again – the 6 year old (though these were last year, when she was 5):

    “Shooterworks” (for fireworks)
    “Earbuns” (for earbuds)
    “Obsticourse” (for obstacle course)
    “The Indian Beach” (for the Indian Ocean)


    “Hostipal” (for hospital) – which I absolutely love, because I used to say the exact same when I was her age.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I think kids say the “funniest” things because they say the most honest things. Yay for the parents/adults in the group for laughing, although I wonder if the one who did all the talking found the humor? On the please and thank you thing, kids do like to take us literally, don’t they? πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing and making my day sweeter.

    Liked by 3 people

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