Just like last time, the grocery store check-out line got long once I entered it, so Chex Mix Guy was called from what I assume is referred to as “the back” (even though it’s near the front of the store).
I watched him push through the doorway that separates the riffraff from the employee-only Cave of Wonders and scurry toward the check stands. When he looked up and saw me smiling, he hung his head and shook it.
“You’re always causing me trouble,” he said.
Here I had two options for how to respond. See if you can guess which I chose:
A. “I’m sorry. Just bad timing, I guess. I hope you weren’t in the middle of something important.”
B. Roll my index fingers around one another in a wide arc like a spinning hamster wheel and say, “Rapido! Rapido!”
The last time I was at this store, so were the cops. Apparently shortly before I arrived, someone couldn’t be bothered with the whole check-out process and simply walked out with a basket full of expensive liquor. CM Guy was off to the side speaking with the police. I guess not even cops warrant passage to the mystical magical “back.”
So on this visit, I, “Crazy Chex Mix Lady,” had my line all ready to go should I get the opportunity to speak with CM Guy.
“I saw the cops here last week,” I began.
He nodded and started talking about it, I assume. Sometimes CM Guy’s voice just disappears, but based on the expression and general tone, I gathered the gist of his words. Nonetheless, I had to interrupt him quickly, lest I lose the opportunity to dazzle him with my wit.
“You’re ruining my set-up,” I say.
“Oh sorry. Go ahead,” he graciously tells me.
“I was going to say, at least now we know I’m not the craziest person who comes in here.”
He merely nods and launches into something about all the nutters who frequent the store. Again, I think.
Either way, makes me wonder if I should continue shopping there. But if I didn’t, how would I entertain you with these stories?
Have any of you ever witnessed a robbery? The writer in me wishes I’d been there just for the experience. The human in me thinks, “Scary!” Which way would you lean?
P.S. Option A never even crossed my mind.