Seven-year-old, G: Mom, L [four-years-old] has the tape again, and she’s trying to hide the picture she’s making from you so you won’t see it and know she’s using the tape.
Me: Please take the tape away from her. She knows she’s not supposed to have it.
(Several minutes later) G: Mom, L took the tape again, even though I told her not to. And she told me not to tell you.
L from the other room: Don’t tell Mom!
G: When she tells me not to tell you, I will tell you.
Me (almost finished showering): I’ll handle L.
G: And I will help you handle L!
Fellow parents: How do you balance the desire to be informed of your child’s misdeeds with not wanting your other child to be a tattle tale? And my daughter, clearly, takes tattling to a whole new level. Advice?
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Not an easy balance. No set rules. Generally, I dont like when they tattle & dont encourage it.
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Thanks, memyselfandkids. It doesn’t happen very often, fortunately. But when it does, it happens all the way!
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I guess that’s good.
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I take what I can get. 🙂
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I’m not in the tattling phase yet, but I’ve heard that it’s generally not a good thing to encourage. That the tattler is just as guilty as the tattled because it’s sort of similar to gossip.
I suppose I would handle the general situation first, but to also tell the tattler that it’s not her place to be the parent.
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Not her place to be the parent–good one. Will keep that in mind. Thanks, Nina.
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Tattling is not allowed at our house unless it’s a safety/danger issue. Both get same consequence regardless of whodunnit (unless I witness the crime). Doesn’t take long to squelch the tattling after that!
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Good to know!
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I told my kids only tattle on the other if it involved dying, maiming or being mean to others.. My middle daughter clearly missed that speech because she gets the Tattle award!! 🙂
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Thanks, free penny press. Glad to know I’m not the only one with this problem.
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I nominated you for The Liebster Award. Follow the rules or skip ‘em but know that your blog is appreciated and enjoyed.
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That’s the sweetest thing ever! Thank you. Especially the part about “or skip ’em”! 😉
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I find that balance by having an only child. 🙂
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Funny, I just posted about this the other day. I mean, I want to intervene when someone’s breaking a rule, but I also don’t want to encourage tattling. If you want, you can read my ramblings here: http://butmostlymommy.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/the-tattle-tales/
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