The part I didn’t tell you.

This post could also be called: Seriously? Again with the foot?!

I’m afraid so, friends.

Somewhere around my fourth or fifth Jiu-Jitsu drill attempt, I crunched my left foot beneath me. (Yep, that one again.) I drove my knee to the ground, as planned, but somehow didn’t leave enough space for my foot to flip over so the shoelace side would be down. Instead, with my knee to the ground, my foot started to flatten bottom-side down.

Go ahead and see what that must be like. I’ll wait.

You see? No bueno.

I kept going anyway, but then put my hand down when I wasn’t supposed to, so, knowing we’d have to redo it for that mistake anyway, I called a halt.

I just chilled, breathed through the pain, and a couple minutes later, was back on my feet, pain-free.

Isn’t the human body amazing? I’m guessing adrenaline kicked in and carried the day. I didn’t feel any more pain until sometime later, back at home, when I was walking around a bunch, out of necessity, and was like, “Huh. My foot hurts.”

I finished helping make pretzels for the Taekwondo belt ceremony and continued with my life. (Yep, same day. It was a productive one!)

Thank goodness this Taekwondo class was only a belt ceremony and not a normal lesson in all its running, jumping, kicking glory. There was, however, a bit of running: up to receive the belt, certificate, and Grey Poupon mustard packet. (That makes zero sense if you haven’t first read this.) Then running backwards to my spot on the floor. Afterward was just a bunch of standing around, talking, eating, and joking about decades-old commercials.

Pardon me…

Though I again felt zero pain at the ceremony, once home, I was limping.

I guess when I’m distracted, I don’t notice the screaming protests in my extremities.

So I elevated and iced.

Ice, frozen peas, whatever.

The day after, my foot had swollen up like a plastic glove that’s been blown up like a balloon.

It looks particularly weird since you can’t see the bend at the ankle. In fact, you can’t see the ankle. From there to my toes I’m puffier than normal, and I still can’t fully bend my toes.

I eventually got some of that compression wrap stuff and borrowed crutches from a friend. A very good friend, as she also included a gift bag with this:

Beer, candy, bonbons in a Tupp-Tupp. The beer did not come mostly drunk. (But I did! Badump-chh!) It was opened immediately upon arrival, however.

A week later, with little improvement, I decided to call a doctor. Maybe following the advice of Dr. Google, which said, do all the things I’d been doing, wasn’t enough?

I did a telemedicine thing.

Doctor: How’d it happen?

Me: Doing martial arts.

Doctor: So, like a front kick?

Me: No, it was a double leg takedown. I drove my knee down, and my foot didn’t have room to flip over so–

Doctor, chuckling: Okay.

Apparently he didn’t require the full explanation.

He sent me to get an x-ray. Nothing was broken, but no real surprise. It didn’t hurt that bad. I have another telemedicine visit, this time with video, set for tomorrow. [These at-home doctors appointments are one good thing to come from Covid. What a time saver! And I AM on crutches, after all.]

So it seems the day of my greatest triumph brought with it my greatest downfall.

What am I to make of that? Something philosophical, witty, or wise? Or just a random fluke? Is the universe telling me to slow down? I’m bummed I’m going to get behind now when NOT falling behind the others was the whole point in taking that private lesson and getting part of testing done in the first place. (Irony.)

I’m also not happy about missing Taekwondo, especially since… are you ready for this? Now we get to break boards. Yes, with our feet.

I’m going to let that sink in for a moment.

I’ll be sure to use my right foot, to be safe. Then again, maybe my left foot is like, “Meh. What more could she do to me?” Well, I haven’t broken it.

Yet.

Seriously, though, what do y’all think of me landing on crutches after what was to be my greatest triumph? Pride goeth before the fall? Or just, that’s life? I look forward to your comments.