More Jiu-Jitsu Instructor Funnies


First of all, do you ever experience a flash of emotion that is so fleeting you have to think back on what caused it?

I felt a quick surge of happiness when driving the other day and thought, “Where did that come from?” Then I realized I had passed my Jiu-Jitsu gym and had caught a glimpse of its darkened windows as I motored by.

Ah, Jiu-Jitsu.

I brought Youngest Daughter with me recently and got to relive the joy of hearing Instructor’s jokes for the first time through her laughter. She particularly enjoyed every time he said, “Motorcycle grip. Vroom. Vroom.”

There was also, “Walk your foot up like a duck, ‘Quack quack quack,'” and “Feed one hand to the other ‘Nom nom,'” as he had his hand “bite” his other wrist.

He explained Gable Grip as “double Queen Elizabeth hands.” He waved like she does, then clasped his hands together.

He also mentioned how a bigger stronger guy figures he can crush you when he gets you in a headlock. “Then you easily get out of it, and he looks confused. You say, ‘I do Jiu-Jitsu. Don’t be confused.'”

Another time, when demonstrating with a guy, he asked, “Who’s stronger, him or me?” Someone said, “Him.” Instructor paused, put a hand over his heart and said, “Too quick, bro. I’m hurt. That was too quick.” (Did I already share that one? If so, sorry.)

The Wall, with a few student cards sticking out.

At the start of a class last week, everyone stepped away from the wall to partner up, leaving me standing alone. Then Instructor’s standard demo partner, SD1 (Surfer Dude), strutted up to me with his chest out in a “You want a piece of me?” fashion. Ha! πŸ™‚

Later it was taking a while to complete the Americana armlock on him. I said, “If I don’t submit you, I might submit myself from having my nose in your armpit.”

“Heh. Sorry about that,” he said.

“I’m just messing with you,” I told him, which was partially true.

At the put-it-all-together-and-just-go-for-it part of class, SD1 was moving slowly, taking it easy on me. Instructor walked by and said, “SD1,” then flashed him three fingers.

“What did that mean?” I asked.

“It means go full force.”

I was honored Instructor believed in me.

When I was attempting a rear naked choke on SD1, I said, “Remember that time, way back when we had Wall Drills, when I got you in an RNC?”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I wrote about it on my blog. Please refer to this link.”

“Okay. Let me snag my phone and check that out,” he said.

Just kidding. “I must have blocked it out,” he said. “Good job, though,” he added cheerfully.

Surfer Dude 1 in a headlock.

In a recent class, SD1 was absent, so Instructor called on me to be his demo partner. When it was time for people to pair up and practice, there were an odd number of people, meaning no partner for me.

“Would you like to walk the floor with me and help out the students?”

“Uh, sure.” I was a bit mystified. Usually he only lets upper belts do that.

Next thing you know, people are calling my name to ask for help, and I’m showing the giant tattooed guy how to do the Elevator Sweep.

Man, was that fulfilling!

I texted this to a friend afterward:

Maybe co-teach was a bit strong, but still. Can you believe it? I can hardly believe it.

On my way out, Instructor said, “See you, Betsy!” Then several upper belts from the back corner, getting ready for their class, echoed his words, with arms raised in farewell.

“Yes, you will, my friends,” I said with an evil chuckle. “I’ll be joining your ranks soon, so yes… you… will… Mwuahahaha!”

Or I just called back, “See you, guys!” and left. You decide which.

One last thing. Notice anything?

This was supposed to be our “tough guy” poses, but I couldn’t not smile. I got my fourth and final stripe.

68 responses »

  1. So … when are you going to take surfing lessons? Surfing is a bit like jiu jitsu except you’re fight the ocean instead of people and it’s a lot hard to get a wave into a head lock, but other than that it’s really the same thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love, love, love this post. First and always, the trademark Betsy humor and the inside of the head voice joking around. But co-teaching and the 4th stripe. That is such impressive perseverance! I bow down to you — and not only because you could kick my butt and make me!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Helping out at class has always been a rewarding experience. Nice job on being able to help out! Congrats on the stripe, too! Looks like your instructor got his purple belt too, one of the last pics I remember seeing he had his blue. Big thumbs up to you both!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Tom! When he got his purple, he said nothing about it, so after showing us something then asking if there were any questions, comments, or concerns, I shot my hand up and said, “You got your purple belt! Congratulations!” and started clapping. Everyone else joined in. He was being super low key and modest about it, which was cool.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Whoa, congrats! This is the part where you start feeling confident in being a white belt, where you’re finally content to be who you are, but it won’t be long before your blue belt arrives, and the impostor syndrome will all come crashing back once more πŸ˜›

    Onwards and upwards!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I wish the blue belt came next, Stuart, but the rules changed some years ago, and now we get a Combatives Belt–white with a blue stripe down the center. After wearing THAT for 6 mos, we get the blue belt. Recently I was making mistakes against a 2-striper, so I’m already feeling quite the imposter, but with good reason. He was probably thinking, “What the heck?” or I just made him feel so much better about himself. Whatever. I know I’m not ready to test yet, as that incident proved, but I’m working on it! Hopefully I’ll have a pic of the Combatives Belt to show by the end of the month.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. hahaha the pics are priceless! LOL you must have a way with people – getting them to do things for you lol Love the pic where you tried hardest to be serious hehee πŸ˜› Congrats on your new stripe anddddd being the co-teacher! That’s what we’re saying it is now! lol..

    Liked by 2 people

  6. After being absent for a few weeks I couldn’t find your blog. Despair – disappointment – worry. Then you said something on my post so I knew you were here somewhere. Glad I found you again. Congrats on your stripe. And you go girl- co-teaching! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Pingback: Oh, that happened: Aug 14 – A Silly Place

  8. This is my “feel good” post of the day. You are AWESOME (using my Boston vernacular). You make me want to find a class like yours. With super surfer dude and friendly supportive instructors who have silly jokes. What fun. And yay for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

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