Guess who’s limping again?

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Okay, even I admit this is getting ridiculous.

In Taekwondo, we were doing jump spin crescent kicks. Sounds cool, doesn’t? Looks cool, too.

When Sensei does it. When I do it, I look like I’m having a mid-air seizure.

But I land on my toes.

Not in a graceful ballerina way, but in a, “Crunch. There go my toes,” way.

One particular toe clearly took the brunt of it. The pinky toe is like, “Thanks, brah.” Purple toe: “No prob. You took the hit last time.” Pinky: “Chah right I did!” Purple: “Total bummer, dude.” Pinky: “For suuuuure.”

No idea why my toes are 90’s male stoners.

Aside from the above, I had planned to stop posting bruise pics, but I was oddly excited to discover not a bruise, but a bump!

An actual, genuine bump! I do remember my arm hurting during Jiu-Jitsu, but don’t know exactly what happened to it.

This did eventually turn into a delightfully colorful bruise.

Now I get to say I’ve gotten BUMP and bruises in martial arts. Though I much prefer what one commenter called them: training marks–sort of like “beauty marks” but tougher!

Why, oh why, do I do this to myself, some of you are asking.

Here’s why:

In the last self defense class of the school year (a free class my male counterpart and I do for middle and high schoolers), I made a point of reviewing the most likely scenarios the girls could encounter: someone trying to push you, someone trying to pull you, being dragged by your ankles, wrist grabs, chokes from behind, chokes from the front, chokes when you’re up against a wall, and the triangle choke at the end just for fun because someone wanted to see it.

One of the girls particularly excelled in this class and was the only one who came consistently. I texted her mom:

I hope the fabulous writer, Mike Allegra, who shakes his head and mutters nonsensically to himself at the sight of my bruises, will feel a little better now, too. This was his response to my “Rolling vs. Sparring” post:

Okay, maybe I added the part about him muttering nonsensically to himself.

If I take a few bumps to the head, that could be me.

Have a happy safe weekend, everyone!

57 responses »

  1. What a toe-tally delightful conversation your feet were having. It’s nice to see how your toes stick up for each other. Mine are like, “Screw you. You’re on your own, dweeb!” Which makes them sound like they’re ’80s valley girls. Weird…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve done good, Betsy. We live in a complicated world, and you’ve found a way to punch back at it, along with teaching others to be safe. Kind of a pun intended, but also sincerely intended.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well now … what can I say? That last talk we had didn’t sink that far in, did it? Better to give than receive … that extends to landing correctly and know that 90’s stoner talk actually is a derivative of 70’s stoner’s talk.

    no I won’t tell you how I know that …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol to the last part especially. As to the first, let’s pretend the floor of the gym was hurt by my landing even more than my toe was hurt. Maybe my JJ partners are being harmed by ME and just keeping quiet about it. I wonder if any of them has a blog where they post THEIR bruise pics.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My comments never go thru with you, I hope this one does lol. Nice battle scars! That’s what my dad calls all my lovely bruises. I have one on the back of my calf that looks just like the one on your arm. Last week my arm was full of ’em. Careful with your toe. Continue to kick butt! With your injured toe…?

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I hurt my toe doing those kicks, it was toward the beginning of class, so I just had to continue. I’ve been through worse. (I also recently discovered a bruise on my bum. Not sure how that one got there, but it’s not making the blog roster of bruise pics!!)

      Sorry about the comment issue. Someone else reported that too. I’ll see if there’s something I can do about that. Thanks for your persistence!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s the little details like stoner-dude toes that give you such a distinct voice. Always enjoy your posts. And I had that bump thing too! I was holding Thai pads for a bigger guy, and I don’t know what happened, but the shock must’ve passed right through the pads because my bump was in a similar spot, which I was super confused about. It turned into a bruise too.

    My partner also did BJJ for a while, and she used to get ‘training marks’ as well. Let’s just say it was awkward walking hand-in-hand with her with scratches on her neck and bruises on her arms. One of the lesser-talked-about things about this sport.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha. Glad you enjoyed my slightly high toes. (Elevation is good for bruises after all. πŸ˜‰ )

      After the bump on my arm, I had to hold a pad for round kicks in TKD. That didn’t feel great. I kept trying to readjust to no avail.

      I’ve gotten comments here that people might start asking me if things are okay at home. Ha! My poor hubby. No comments IRL yet, though! I should just wear one of my martial arts shirts everywhere I go should things get really colorful. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the read and comment back atcha!

      Like

    • Ah, the BTC. They have the best snacks. Ironically, all finger foods.

      Thanks, EW! Though I’m thinking Ilsa is the way for me to go. You convinced me since it’s a derivative of Elizabeth and is the name of two great movie heroines. You solved that hypothetical future problem for me. Thanks for that!

      Liked by 1 person

      • The last Mission Impossible. And the newest one that’s coming out. Hubby and I rewatched the last one recently, and I was like, “I want to be her when I grow up. She is so cool!” Watch it. You’ll see. πŸ™‚

        Like

  6. Pingback: Switzerland, here we come! (Not now, but soon): June 12 – A Silly Place

  7. “No idea why my toes are 90’s male stoners.” Hilarious! Aren’t stoners a little impervious to pain? If so, you’ve chosen the right toes!

    I’d say that text should get you through any more bumps and bruises you have to endure. So cool you are passing your lessons along!

    Like

  8. The response from the mom is one of those encouragement moments (that she probably wasn’t even aware she was giving you). With the bumps and bruises of your practice comes something else, your joy in learning and getting better. It’s amazing what martial arts does for us. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Unfortunately on any sport, or physical strenuous activity, accidents happens, and you may get hurt, Martial Arts, well you suppose to do things correctly and safe as possible, but you know accidents happen all the time, I am now pretty old for real practice, yesterday on a parking lot, because the color of the cement, the fading light, and dark shade, what I thought they were two feet, or so, turned out to be more like four!
    So on contact, my legs gave up, and hit my right knee, and hip, it just hurt for a while, but I am fine now.πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
    Be careful, dear.πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

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