I could teach those ancients a thing or two

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My seven-year-old was learning how the Romans borrowed the concept of the gods from the Greeks, but had changed the gods’ names. She noticed that many of them shared their names with planets.

My nine-year-old then ticked off the planet gods in order from the sun and even stated their Greek counterparts (because she’s a total nerd). Then she made an observation. Read the rest of this entry

We don’t talk to friends in this house

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Seeing that a¬†friend had a “No Soliciting” sign on her door, I decided to get one of my own, as I get knocks far too frequently for my liking. I am almost never presentable, (See “Mommy goes out on the town, before and after“) which makes these regrettable encounters all the worse, for the other person.

So even though I had the sign, it wasn’t yet up in the window of the door when some gentleman, probably from a solar panel company who was “doing work on others houses in my neighborhood,” as they always somehow seem to be,¬†showed up.

Before I even let him speak I said, Read the rest of this entry

I am my biggest fan

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My husband could attest to just how obnoxious I can be when I’m full of my own cleverness. I tell you, no one can laugh at my jokes the way I can. I had a real doozy last night that I woouuuuuld share, but it would probably offend some people.

Instead, let me relay to you the opening lines of a thank you card I just constructed in response to something that happened the last weekend of July. Read the rest of this entry

Another reason I love my husband

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(as if I need more reasons)

I wanted him to get the kids ready for bed because I was wrapping presents for our daughter’s birthday the next day. I said to him, “Could you please get the kids ready for bed? I’m taking care of some business…involving Tupac.”

“Gotcha.”

He automatically knew what I was talking about. (Tupac = Read the rest of this entry

So rude, and yet, so wonderful

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A friend overheard one guy saying to another, “Sorry, man, I was just trying to have a battle of wits with you. I didn’t realize you were unarmed.”

Ouch!

I was giving a friend info about a game night, when he said he would have to “punt this” to his wife. “I was born to ruin family plans,” he explained.

I responded with, Read the rest of this entry

Misc. funny lines

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Speaking to his toys: “Hi. I’m Daniel. I’m going to keep you safe from Katherine. She is a big giant.” (In case you haven’t guessed it, Katherine is his big sister.) -posted by a friend on Facebook

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Something you never expect to hear from an adorable little blonde girl: “Mom! Come see my poop! It’s enormous!”

Yes, I did go see it. And she was correct. Read the rest of this entry

Somebody call the contractor!

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I decided to rearrange some furniture the other day, and did so without my husband, hoping to surprise him. Things went well until I realized I would indeed have to give him a heads up. This was our instant message exchange:

me: I may or may not have taken a door off its hinges and then gotten a desk stuck in a doorway. I’ll let you decide when you get home.

him: ?? seriously? better not be the front door. Read the rest of this entry