A friend overheard one guy saying to another, “Sorry, man, I was just trying to have a battle of wits with you. I didn’t realize you were unarmed.”
I was giving a friend info about a game night, when he said he would have to “punt this” to his wife. “I was born to ruin family plans,” he explained.
I responded with, Read the rest of this entry
Speaking to his toys: “Hi. I’m Daniel. I’m going to keep you safe from Katherine. She is a big giant.” (In case you haven’t guessed it, Katherine is his big sister.) -posted by a friend on Facebook
Something you never expect to hear from an adorable little blonde girl: “Mom! Come see my poop! It’s enormous!”
Yes, I did go see it. And she was correct. Read the rest of this entry
I decided to rearrange some furniture the other day, and did so without my husband, hoping to surprise him. Things went well until I realized I would indeed have to give him a heads up. This was our instant message exchange:
me: I may or may not have taken a door off its hinges and then gotten a desk stuck in a doorway. I’ll let you decide when you get home.
him: ?? seriously? better not be the front door. Read the rest of this entry
My four-year-old saw a bird through the window screen. Somehow this elicited from her a very loud, very off-key rendition of the chorus from Frozen’s “Let it go.”
“The bird is not flying away,” she pauses to tell me.
“Maybe it likes your singing,” I suggest.
“Maybe it likes ‘Let it go,'” she tells me.
“That could be,” I say, and she keeps singing for all she’s worth. Finally, having heard enough, the bird did indeed go.
“It flew away,” my daughter tells me sadly.
“I’m sorry,” I say with a frown.
Then, looking at me, her face brightens. “Maybe it Read the rest of this entry
A few weeks ago we were visiting friends at their home near Buffalo, NY. There were some good lines worth sharing during those two days.
For instance, Jay, father of 5, asked his daughter, “Are you ready for dessert?” She responded by patting her lower stomach and saying, “I have room in my basement.”
I’ve gotta remember that line.
My nine-year-old daughter was helping Jay cook scrambled eggs one morning. “Do you like cooking?” he asked her. “Yes. I have to learn how so I can move out of the house.” Suddenly startled by her own words, she added, Read the rest of this entry
The girls are arguing over who gets to sit where in the bathtub. My oldest announced, “I always sit there for certain reasons that are needed in life!”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and she looked at me like, “What did I say?” Read the rest of this entry
When one of the children loses a tooth, it is a very big deal. Not because they think, “Yea, I’m becoming a big girl!” or even “Cha-ching! Come on, Tooth Fairy!” But because it means a whole lot less whining going on around here.
Initially the loose tooth is an exciting topic of conversation, meriting daily, if not more frequent, updates as in, “My tooth is a little wiggly!… I can move it back and forth!… Now I can move it left to right! See!” (open mouth shoved in face.) “Now I can touch the bottom of it with my tongue!…It’s hanging by a thread!”
You would think by the time we’ve reached that last level of development we’re sitting pretty, but no, that stage lasts about a week. These children will keep that tooth in there as though their lives depend on it. Why? Clearly they aren’t motivated by greed. They don’t worry they’ll have nothing to talk about once the tooth is gone. They’re not even concerned about diminished chewing quality when one tooth down. Nope. It’s the simple fear of pain.
Here’s where I go from being World’s Greatest Mom to, uh, something a little closer to the opposite extreme.
Let me explain. Read the rest of this entry