My daughter decided to give her brother peanut butter. Then she called me: “Mom, Joe needs to be cleaned up.” Read the rest of this entry
On my birthday, one of the girls asked for a bedtime story. So naturally I said, “Thirty-nine years ago today, the most wonderful mom in the world was born.”
My husband added: “And so was Betsy.”
(Reminiscent of the famous choosing a cat story, don’t ya think?)
Hubs texted me that day: “Do you have a cake?”
Me: “No.” I mean, if I had one, I’d have had to bake it myself. So, clearly no. Which was fine with me. Just show me to the nearest ice cream. But he said, “No wife of mine isn’t going to have a baked good on her birthday.”
He turned up after work with six mini fruit pies from Walmart. Fifty cents each.
Who says the romance is dead?
I leaned to the side so as not to mar the view of my single candle (to reflect the age I act) and my little “Happy Birthday” sign.
And I missed the Read the rest of this entry
I get silly and perhaps slightly whimsical with my children and buy junk like this:
It was cute and only $2. That should’ve been my first clue. It works as well as any $2 potato peeler would, that is, not at all. But, at least it was only $2!
And also this: Read the rest of this entry
Chex Mix is delish. I especially like the cheddar flavor. And let’s not forget Turtle Chex with its chocolately goodness. So when the CM, as the cool kids call it*, goes on sale, I pounce.
[*No one calls it this. Definitely NOT cool kids anyway.]
The grocery store advertised Chex Mix for $1.99 for the Family Size bags. I was all over that. But the only bags on the shelf were of the smaller size, NOT on sale, for something absurd like $3.99.
However, there was no Family Size to be found. A worker looked everywhere and confirmed this.
I said, “So I’m not crazy.”
He said, “Well, we’ve established that you’re right about the Chex Mix, but that doesn’t prove you aren’t crazy.”
I was rather shocked, first of all by his wit, which made me LOL, and secondly that a comment like that was “allowed.” Doesn’t it fly in the face of “the customer is always right” mentality? I didn’t mind of course, as I love a good laugh.
His solution to my dilemma was to sell me two of the smaller 8 oz. bags at the cost of the as-advertised-but-nowhere-in-sight 15 oz. bags.
I grabbed 12.
At check-out, Read the rest of this entry
Did you miss me? Don’t answer that.
Did you notice I was gone?
Don’t answer that, either.
Remember months ago when I said I needed to take a blog break to work on my book? That didn’t really end up happening. I just couldn’t stay away. August 31 was my deadline, however, so I used this last month to really knuckle down. And it’s done! Hooray!
There are few things more stressful than hitting the send button when turning in a manuscript.
I’m excited about this book. It was originally “If You Keep Perfectly Still, Maybe They Won’t See You,” eliciting the image of being stalked by a T-Rex. The first Jurassic Park film taught us Tyranosaurs have poor eyesight, but see movement. It was an instructional film. The publisher felt that title was too long, however. Now we have: Be a Happier Parent or Laugh Trying.
I guess that works, too, even if it contains no practical wisdom for T-Rex attacks. Read the rest of this entry
We were gone for a week. In our absence, half the ants in California moved in. With complete disregard for squatters’ rights, we annihilated (ant-ihilated?) them.
There were concentrations in the usual places with a few scouts checking out the living arrangements in other rooms. When I changed Joe’s diaper, one climbed in. I removed it, not knowing for whom the situation was worse: Joe for having a literal ant in his pants, or the ant itself, considering Joe had soiled four diapers that day and appeared to be on a roll.
The most curious and concerning area of discovery was our freezer. The integrity of our door closing system is clearly suspect. The ants didn’t get far, however. I discovered them splayed across a package of frozen chicken near their apparent entrance. The silly creatures ventured forth across a frozen fowl tundra with nary a jacket. Read the rest of this entry
My friend with three sons posted this on facebook:
Life as the Activities Director at Camp Mommy is seldom dull. Overheard this morning:
Boy 1 – “What should we do?”
Boy 2- “Let’s all get in the closet and fart. Last one standing wins.”
I’m glad I have three girls. Although, today the youngest said, Read the rest of this entry