And the wittiness just keeps coming

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The ten-year-old child, of punctual wit fame, dropped a couple more greats.

After spending hours working on a story for her composition class, she said to me, “Mom, do you know why I don’t have a tail anymore?”

The best response in these situations, I’ve learned, is to not say anything beyond simply, “Why?” Read the rest of this entry

My crafty five-year-old

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I walked into the kitchen and found the milk jug sitting on the table with the lid off (the jug not the table). Since it was right in front of my five-year-old, who was currently enjoying a bowl of cereal, it was easy to spot the culprit.

Instead of just asking her to put it away, my first instinct was incredulity, so I said, “Why is the milk sitting on the table with the lid off?”

The crafty one said, with no hesitation, Read the rest of this entry

As heard in a fourth grade classroom, part 1

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These were submitted to me by a fourth grade teacher friend of mine. Don’t worry. There’s more where these came from.
So proud of having hung our school American flag, one of my students points it out to me:
Girl: Look at the American flag! I hung it… Doesn’t it look good?
Me: Wow!! You did a beautiful job. Looks great!
Girl: Thanks… I know. I do good things, and I look good doing ’em.

Read the rest of this entry

A gift to all you writer types

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I don’t know if you’re already aware of Studio C, the clean comedy sketch show on Youtube, but I am HOOKED, y’all! Some of them are so funny I can barely breathe from laughing. (And some of them are just okay, but you can’t hit it out of the park every time.)

“Teddy’s Story Joint” is among my favorites. The rest of you authors or aspiring authors ought to get a kick out of it, too. Please enjoy and tell me what your favorite parts are. (Mine are “Calvin and Hobbes special” and the Star Wars/Harry Potter connection.) Read the rest of this entry

#MomFail

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My sister-in-law told me this story:

One of her sons really liked a certain pair of socks with palm trees on them, so she got them for him for Christmas. Little did she know, until the package was removed and the socks were unfolded, that they weren’t adorned with palm trees at all. Read the rest of this entry

The little dears.

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Here are a couple of gems from my friends:

“Son: Mommy, does your name have any L’s like mine?
Mom: Let’s sound it out and see!
Son: Aim–ee… nope, no L’s.
Mom: Great job!
Son: So how about we call you “Lame-y”?
‪#‎middleschoolflashbacks‬
Read the rest of this entry

Lost in translation

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When my girls saw a Chick-fil-A  mascot on a street corner, they immediately and wordlessly, rolled down their windows and began mooing at it.

My husband said, “What are you doing?”

They said, “We’re talking to the cow!”

cow Read the rest of this entry