New blog feature: “What’s! That! Bruise?”

Standard

I can’t help but read those three words and hear them shouted in unison by a game show audience. You?

I discovered a few more bruises on my arms and thought, Huh. Wonder what those are from. Could be Jiu-Jitsu, could be from running into something. Well, probably not. That does happen on occasion, but I’m not a klutz. Though I have no problem making fun of myself. For instance, has anyone heard me sing? Of course not, because anyone who has immediately takes their life afterward.

Right arm.
Left arm.

Probably could’ve taken those in a more balanced manner. Sorry about that. Not trying to elbow you in the face.

~~~

Like all good stories, this one begins with a cat.

The neighbor’s cat was strolling toward our front door, so I immediately opened it to invite him in. He politely declined the offer by launching himself bodily into the nearest bush.

This did, however, enable me to discover two packages waiting for me.

Two (nearly) identical packages.

Back ordered, my eye! This was a mere four days after I ordered my blender replacement part, and I don’t even know how long they’d been sitting there. Not complaining, but why two? I confirmed that I only paid for one, so now I have the moral dilemma of deciding if I should tell them of their error, figure out how to ship the extra one back, make a trip to the post office, etc. This is the second time I’ve had to replace this part (still cheaper than a new blender), so, given that track record, I’ll probably need another before long. I suppose I should tell them, right? Yeah, I should. Right? I should? 🙂

Oddly, the new parts are not exactly identical. Nor are either identical to the piece I removed.

The old piece has a full metal base. Whatever.

Here are the instructions for removing the old part.

Three or four attempts? I showed them! I did it in 30 or 40!

Despite my learning curve in replacing the part, and my ownership of a now illegal contraband coupler, I’m back to enjoying my sweet, sweet smoothies.

Fully functioning blender!
Nun-num smoothie.

Now, because I would be remiss otherwise, here are some brief Jiu-Jitsu updates (or ju-ju, as my mom calls it):

I had to steal several glances to be sure it really was Indifferent/Sweaty Man who slunk in late to class. I hadn’t seen him in so long, I almost forgot what he looked like. His identity was confirmed when he said, “Good to see you,” at the traditional fist-bump-everyone-at-the-end-of-class. BTW, a bright smile accompanied my first bump from Li’l Trejo.

Quick questions:

  1. How many of you were able to guess in my last post what I said/did that was silly before I told you? (Asking if I was the second person Instructor had a hard time doing an arm bar on because of my overwhelming strength.) Hubby could hardly believe I had said that. 🙂 Did you figure it out?
  2. Would you keep silent about the extra coupler or send it back, especially knowing you’ll likely need it in several months?
  3. Do you like my kitty shirt from the bruise pics? Meow!

57 responses »

  1. 1- sun’s out guns out, B! Wowza look at those biceps!

    2- I *am* a klutz, so I applaud you on those bruises. I don’t know how one acquires them otherwise.

    3- if you call the company, and if they’re worth their salt, they’ll just tell you to keep it or pass it along anyway. But, course, that *would* give you heart eyes for what a good company they are, rather than just thinking they are inept for sending you too many pieces. Of course, you do run the risk of feeling very poorly for the company if they do ask you to send it back. So. I’d throw it in a drawer and then forget I have it when it happens again and order a new piece anyway….and then bruise myself on my way to the mailbox to bring it in anyway. So…whatever that’s worth. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • 1. I had to do a little research to see who posted this comment because it’s clear you know me. I knew Rock Steady was a clue, but I didn’t put it together until I saw the accompanying email address. Now, of course, I get it it and it’s Fabulous, and I LOVE it!

      2. You’re very kind. Thank you. Wouldn’t KS be proud? It’s like she and I swapped our baby-making and working-out years. I didn’t think I had it in me. Pretty sure I was the first to give up on the gym membership despite paying for the full year. 😝

      3. You’re hilarious, and I never knew you to be a klutz.

      4. Still hilarious. And I love you so much. Thanks for reading and commenting, darling one!!! 😘back atcha!

      Like

  2. Omg on those instructions! 3 or 4 attempts? That’s hilarious! I would keep the extra one. Too much of a hassle to return and once you got ahold of someone, they’d probably just tell you to keep it so they don’t have to pay the return postage. I’ve had that happen before. Nice shirt!

    Like

    • They probably would tell me to keep it. The postage would likely cost 12 times the cost of the part. Yeah, 3 or 4 tries was a joke. Glad you like the shirt. Thrift store. Didn’t even bother to try it on first. I saw it and knew it must be mine! 🙂

      Like

  3. Well Betsy, at least you wear them with pride. Still must hurt for a few days. I do like the shirt, but you may want to avoid the black cat in the future, to avoid worse bruises. Keith

    Like

    • I don’t feel the bruises at all, Keith. I only discovered them because I happened to glance them in the mirror. Sometimes that black cat makes nice and snuggles with me. Maybe the sound of the door opening scared it, though. :/ Oh well, I discovered my packages thanks to him! 🙂

      Like

  4. I wondered if you were wearing the kitty shirt on purpose when you took those pics to make the story come full circle. 🙂

    I think that the fact you are even wondering about the extra part signifies your integrity. If the part costs less than the postage and compensation for your time to get it to the post office, I think you are safe just keeping it. But very kind of you to even weigh your options!

    I love how you fixed your own blender. Given that you are doing things like that (not to mention having a full family life) probably means you don’t have time to stand around chit chatting after JJ. Besides, you have to leave so that you can write down all the good lines for your next blog! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wynne, I would be so cool if I was wearing that shirt on purpose. Sadly, it just happened to be the shirt I was wearing when I discovered the bruises. The cat connection (catnection?) happened organically.

      So far the consensus seems to be to keep the part and not worry about it, which is nice. I’m glad I asked! (Until several people come on and vote the opposite way. Hrmm.)

      Yeah, I don’t expect I’ll stick around after, either. On Saturdays, everyone is invited to stay for additional practice. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know who would want to partner with me. :/

      And I get so distracted during class thinking about how I’ll use something on the blog, or repeating in my head something funny Instructor said so I’ll remember it for the blog!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I would ask Andrew about the blender part. He’s the guy. And going out to drinks after with the guys? Then the girls in ju-ju would beat you up. Let’s take a calming breath and think of the children here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew would probably have at least 15 jokes involving blenders if I were to ask him. What girls in ju-ju, Mom? I’M the girl in ju-ju. And, yeah, I’m not actually going to go to drinks with them, but it would be fun if they did that together and if they invited me. I would have to decline, of course. For the children, if you will. (Whatever that means.)

      Like

  6. It is so early for a pop quiz but here goes. Yes, I figured out the silly statement but didn’t really think it was so silly. (I don’t know why) Maybe I see you with extraordinary strength.

    I would just pop the extra part in a drawer and wait for the next time the fool thing goes kerflooie.

    As far as chatting after class I’m wondering what the motivation is for doing? Do you want to feel a part of a team. I also have to ask do the guys stand around chatting? One downside of you hanging around is the guys won’t be able to discuss your extraordinary strength among themselves.

    Your kitty shirt is the best. Now let me see. Did I get them all? My last comment is I enjoyed your post today. I hope you have a great week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Loved what you said about popping the extra part in a drawer for the next time “the fool thing goes kerflooie.” 😛

      Maybe the guys would feel less comfortable chit-chatting around me for other reasons, like wanting to talk about why I’m still in the class. I guess the thought was to feel part of the team, but, really, meh, don’t care. I’ll continue leaving as usual.

      Glad you like the shirt. And have a happy week too, John!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Man…keep up with the bruises and some people might get the wrong idea!

    I agree that you should keep the extra part. I’ll bet you anything, even if you informed them of their error, they’d just tell you to keep it anyway. That’s what has happened every single time we’ve had a shipping error.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know, right? When will a little old lady at the grocery store pull me aside and ask if everything is okay at home? Fortunately it’s still too cold for long sleeves. Once it warms up, I hope I’ll have a new JJ shirt to wear to answer that unspoken question.

      And thanks for the advice about the part. Glad that seems to be the consensus.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. In reverse order (because I think backwards):
    4. I love the kitty shirt and will now go buy one for myself.
    3. After class they should be worshiping you as a goddess, not engaging in idle chit-chat.
    2. Keep it. Likely you’ll just confuse the blender people so much that they’ll likely spend more money, time and effort figuring out get the parts back than just letting you keep it. Yes, you’ll save them money by not sending it back, so help them out and say nothing.
    1. Of course I knew, but you know I’d never say anything that would cast you in a bad light.

    and I’m thinking the new bruises are from fixing the blender or that cat was faster than you thought and actually bounced off you on its way to the bushes.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The shirt is ‘adorbs’ (throw back verbage). But I’m allergic to cats so I tend to avoid all things cat.

    SPare parts dilemma. When this happened to husband a couple of months ago he called the company and they started telling him ALL the things he would have to do. He said “I’m not doing that”. They said “keep it”. They didn’t want to bother with it but if they could get him to bother with it it would have been okay.

    Bruises: ROCK ON!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. When it does come time to update the blender – maybe you try a ninja? We love ours and it takes a beating
    And as I saw your bruises – I noticed on the first photo you have beauty marks that remind me of a constellation ✨✨✨

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: Wednesday night’s class | parentingisfunny

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