Here are a couple of gems from my friends:
“Son: Mommy, does your name have any L’s like mine?
Mom: Let’s sound it out and see!
Son: Aim–ee… nope, no L’s.
Mom: Great job!
Son: So how about we call you “Lame-y”?
#middleschoolflashbacks” Read the rest of this entry
You know how people have different ways of expressing that they didn’t hear something you said? There’s the classic, “What?” the “Pardon?” and the “Come again?”
Apparently in Texas they have their own expression for this situation.
I was in the Dallas airport, ordering food, and the woman taking my order said something I didn’t understand. This resulted in an overly lengthy, somewhat comedic exchange.
I said, “What?”
She said her thing again.
I still didn’t catch it. Whatever she said made no sense in my brain. And her bit of accent wasn’t helping either of us. I was forced to say, yet again, “What?” Read the rest of this entry
Here are a few scattered stories I’ve been saving up.
The kids have an inflatable globe for school. I walked into the bathroom and found it on the floor. I picked it up and handed it back to them saying, “When I go to the bathroom, I don’t want the whole world watching.”
Can you guess where we live? The girls have made it easier to identify their home planet. I mean country.
And for my readers from the land down under, here’s what the world looks like for you.
Read the rest of this entry
Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with a toddler can appreciate the joy that a few minutes of privacy can bring. Toddlers are with you always, with an endless stream of questions, many of which have obvious answers and didn’t need to be asked in the first place.
I had one of those days with my son, so when I went to the bathroom, I locked the door. I just wanted to tinkle in peace. But no sooner had I sat down when I heard the familiar: “Mommy, where are you?” followed by my son’s desperate attempt to open the door. I was so frustrated I couldn’t stand it. So when my son asked, “What you doing?” I replied, Read the rest of this entry
A friend in Florida texted me this story:
I put on my knee-length dress before realizing I hadn’t shaved my legs. It was far too hot to wear hose, so I asked my young daughter if she could see the short prickly hairs, hoping I could get away without shaving.
She said, “Yes, Mommy, but Read the rest of this entry
Hey, you’re a Phil, too?
We had friends over for a game night recently. One of our guests was Phil. He relayed a story of having met the San Diego Chargers’ quarterback Philip Rivers… for the second time. You see, he had met this preeminently famous San Diegan once before and, on the second meeting, forgot. his. name. Mind you, this friend’s name is Phil. The quarterback’s name is Phil-ip. You’d think that would be memorable to a Phil, right? But not only, on his second meeting, did he ASK PHILIP RIVERS HIS NAME!!!!! But then he asked, Read the rest of this entry
My four-year-old daughter was so excited that I put bubbles in the bathtub she said, “I’m so happy I could just scream like a little girl!” Thank you for saying so rather than doing so.
Another time she asked my husband, “Dad, did Jesus make your hair very small?” She’d never seen him getting a hair cut, nor seemed to notice every time it was shorter, so it seemed a valid question.
My seven-year-old daughter was making mistakes with her math worksheet. She wasn’t paying attention to whether or not it was an addition or subtraction problem, as it kept changing on her. I said, “Pay attention to the symbol. The symbol is key.”
She responded in a flowy voice: Read the rest of this entry
“MOMMY! Paul won’t give me the big sticker!”
“Well, John, why don’t you suggest a solution? Maybe find out why he’s saving the big sticker, or maybe see if there’s another sticker he *would* give you, or maybe trade two of your little stickers for his big sticker. Could you try to work something out?”
…PAUL!!! MOMMY SAYS YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE BIG STICKER!”
-from one of my favorite FB friends (Names have been changed.)
My four-year-old saw a bird through the window screen. Somehow this elicited from her a very loud, very off-key rendition of the chorus from Frozen’s “Let it go.”
“The bird is not flying away,” she pauses to tell me.
“Maybe it likes your singing,” I suggest.
“Maybe it likes ‘Let it go,'” she tells me.
“That could be,” I say, and she keeps singing for all she’s worth. Finally, having heard enough, the bird did indeed go.
“It flew away,” my daughter tells me sadly.
“I’m sorry,” I say with a frown.
Then, looking at me, her face brightens. “Maybe it Read the rest of this entry
My children were watching a cartoon movie. It was one that they’d seen before. As such, I was rather confused when my four-year-old daughter quickly covered her eyes during one part. Usually once they’ve seen a movie for the first time, the scary parts aren’t so scary on subsequent viewings. But when I checked the screen, I saw that it wasn’t at all a scary scene.
“What’s the matter?” I asked my daughter.
“I just can’t watch this part,” she said.
I could hardly believe her answer. Read the rest of this entry