Tag Archives: embarrassing parenting stories

I wonder that too

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Front of a box of Scooby Snacks from Suncoast.

Front of a box of Scooby Snacks from Suncoast. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the way to the store this afternoon, my son was particularly irritable and whiny. I realized, and exclaimed aloud, that I forgot to give him a snack. My ever-observant and critical four-year-old daughter piped up from the back, Read the rest of this entry

A statement made in households the world over

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facebook

This image is more than just a photo, it’s also a suggestion. Hint. Hint. Wink. Wink. Click that button over there. —>

My seven-year-old caught me on Facebook when I was supposed to be helping the kids with their night-time routine.  She proceeded to scold me: Read the rest of this entry

At least she got one thing right

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Various shoes for sale in Quarry Bay, Hong Kong

 

My two-year-old ran outside announcing, “I have shoes on! I have shoes on!” I was pleased that she remembered that step for once. Unfortunately, Read the rest of this entry

There she blows!

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Head of a fetus, aged 29 weeks, in a "3D ...

Head of a fetus, aged 29 weeks, in a “3D ultrasound” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was pregnant with our second, my daughter came with us for the boy/girl reveal at the 20-week ultrasound. We had just taken her to the Jonah Veggietales movie. So, at the ultrasound she looked from the screen to my belly to the screen, and shouted, Read the rest of this entry

I don’t know her. I’ve never seen her before in my life.

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English: The interior of the largest Whole Foo...

English: The interior of the largest Whole Foods in the United States, located on Houston Street in the East Village of New York City. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I took my three girls with me to the health food store, a place with generally more sophisticated clientele than your average grocer. I know. I know. Then what was I doing there? Well, they had great sales on produce.

Another thing about this store is the carts are very narrow to match their check-out lanes. If you deviate an inch out of your designated space while purchasing your groceries, you will inevitably bump into the customer next to you, who is likewise concentrating on checking-out without disturbing other shoppers’ personal space. It was within these tight confines that my oldest decided to give her baby sister her best and loudest demonstration of a dinosaur roar. Read the rest of this entry

Is it snowing in here?

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Feather 001

When our daughter was three, she had a pink dress with very fine feather trimming.  During church, she discovered that she could pull off a small clump of feathers and toss them into the air. They would then float down ever so slowly. In her excitement, she started to squeal. We looked over to see Read the rest of this entry

It’s laundry day, okay?!

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home alone

I watched through the window as my son got off the school bus and walked across the street. I thought it rather odd that he was holding his hands up to his face, much like Macaulay Caulkin’s famous Home Alone picture. Intrigued, I went outside to greet him. When I got to the mail box, the cause of his shock became dreadfully apparent. There, at the end of our driveway, stood Read the rest of this entry

In case you didn’t hear the insult, let me sing it to you.

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It was nearly Christmas. I, like half my town, was standing in line at the post office holding several large packages. My children were standing with me. My mind was preoccupied wondering how much longer I could hold my boxes without dropping them and wishing there was a table nearby. So when my son said, “Mom, that woman has a big butt!” I didn’t really hear him. The woman ahead of me showed irritation, and I heard the man behind me chuckle. Nevertheless, without thinking, I asked my son to repeat what he had said, but to do it louder.

“That woman has a big butt!” he said again, this time with feeling. The woman threw a scowl over her shoulder, and the man behind me laughed even harder. Then my daughter suddenly felt musical. Read the rest of this entry

If you look at it a certain way, it was my son’s fault.

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Oliver's Shoes, Birth to Age 7

Oliver's Shoes, Birth to Age 7 (Photo credit: reinvented)

I was giving my younger sister a hard time in the parking lot after church one day. She walked by as I was about to turn on the car when I noticed the baby in her arms wasn’t wearing any shoes. I decided to razz her about it, as is my birth right as the other brother.

“It’s cold out here. Why don’t you have any shoes on that kid?”

“Why does she need shoes? She can’t walk. She’s got socks on. She’s fine,” my sister replied.

“We always put shoes on our kids even before they could walk. WE wanted to keep them warm and safe from illness,” I told her in a superior tone. “Don’t make me remind you that I’ve been a parent nearly twice as long as you. I have far more experience in this area. You should really listen to me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” was the best she could do to compete with me. I turned the key with a smirk on my face as she began to walk away. A second later I turned the car off again and got out.

My sister turned and asked, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just that …uhh… Read the rest of this entry

Trust me. I know what I’m doing.

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Picture

Picture (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My sister-in-law was in the hospital after having delivered her first baby. Her husband, a macho, manly type, was going to change the baby’s diaper. He’d never done this before, so she, from her bed, was giving some instructions.

 “Move quickly. Make sure you have something to cover him up so he doesn’t pee on you. Have the clean diaper all ready to go.”

Not wanting to hear it, he told her that he could handle changing a diaper, and it was just a baby, and “I know what I’m doing, okay?”

So there he was, changing this tiny diaper on this tiny baby in the little plastic bin they keep babies in at the hospital. While he’s trying to figure out the diaper, that baby Read the rest of this entry