Tag Archives: embarrassing kid stories

Kids are very observant.

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Biggest Butt Ever!

The caption on this photo was “Biggest Butt Ever!” That’s so rude to have taken this picture, but at least he didn’t say it out loud!

While we were living in an apartment, we didn’t know many of our neighbors, as I was one of the few stay-at-home moms around during the day.  We did come to recognize many faces, though, even though not personally acquainted.  One of these familiar faces belonged to a very heavy woman, whom my husband and three-year-old son found themselves standing behind in a grocery store check out line one fateful day. Read the rest of this entry

Lost and Found

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Police Car

Sheriff to the rescue!

A county sheriff was explaining that it can take ten minutes to ten hours or more to find a lost child. He responded when a mother called saying she couldn’t find one of her children. The sheriff went to her house. She had eight children, and he could see from the doorway that the house was, in his words, “disheveled.” He asked if he could look around. He found

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“I have no idea where she learned that word,” the mother says innocently

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At dinner one night, we had potatoes and various vegetables with our meal. Seeing the proximity in color between the potatoes and cauliflower made me remember the time when my husband was heating up some left over mashed potatoes. Much to his chagrin while eating them, he discovered a rogue piece of cauliflower amongst his spuds, masterly disguising itself as a fellow tuber.

When I reminded him of that incident, my eight-year-old daughter said, “And when you found it, did you say, Read the rest of this entry

The excitement we had at church on Sunday

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My husband is so lucky that we only have girls. Whenever we’re out someplace public like the zoo, Legoland, a grocery store, or church, and a child has to go to the bathroom, it’s automatically the female parent who has to take her. Yeah for me.

This especially came in handy (for my husband) at church Sunday when one child announced, never quietly, that she needed to pee. Of course, we always make them go before we leave home, but as she is relatively new to the potty trained world, I wasn’t taking my chances on her sincerity,  ploy to avoid some pew time or not.

When we left the bathroom, she swiftly yanked her arm away from me so she could run to the back of the church, make a U-turn around the end of the row of pews, and stream back down the center aisle to our seats near the front. Awesome.

And of course, I had barely gotten back to my place when Read the rest of this entry

You Know You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome When…

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Royal wave

Royal wave

I recently visited my daughter and four grandchildren, aged two to eight. When I left I went to each grandchild for a hug and kiss. When I got to the two-year-old I knelt down and hugged and kissed her. I rocked back on my heels as she gave me the royal wave of good-bye. How cute, I thought. Then she extended her little arm, Read the rest of this entry

Don’t read this one if you’ve just eaten.

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With our fifth child, I stopped carrying a diaper bag around. I just stuff a diaper and a baggie of wipes in my purse. The problem with this is that I have only one diaper and if I use it, I sometimes forget to refill my purse before leaving again.

Well, this time we were at our cabin for the last time this summer and were eating out at a local restaurant. Andrew had eaten corn out of a can earlier that day and a lot of something else I can’t remember. We were all sitting down enjoying our burgers when Andrew ripped a loud one. For some reason I didn’t think anything of it; we just snickered a little bit and finished our meal. Read the rest of this entry

I get that a lot

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An Anglican priest vested as a deacon with an ...

A deacon, though not quite as intimidating. (Wikipedia)

A four-year-old skipped into the vestibule ahead of her mother and skidded to a stop at the Deacon’s feet. Dressed in white, six feet tall and broad-shouldered, he was an intimidating sight. She stared up at him, open-mouthed. After a moment of silence, she asked in awe: Read the rest of this entry

Thank Heaven for little girls

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While sitting with some other moms at my son’s baptism reception, one of them alerted me to the fact that the kids were playing with a doll–a gender specific doll. A group of little girls were giggling while watching my seven-year-old daughter make her male doll Read the rest of this entry

How to make your mark at a new school

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Combination playground equipment (plastic)

playground equipment–untattooed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When we moved, I enrolled my children at a private school known for its rigorous academics and discipline. I was eager for them to make a good impression, but when my mother called after their first week to inquire how my children were doing, I said, “Oh, you mean the cheat, the forger, and the vandal?”

I got a call from the principal or a teacher nearly every day that week. First was Read the rest of this entry

I haven’t heard that particular version

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Jingle bells

I’d hate to see what an image of the alternative would look like.

My two-year-old daughter’s favorite song these days is Jingle Bells. She sings it all the time and has started experimenting with alternate lyrics. At Mass on Sunday, during the readings when everyone is attentively listening to the word of God, she looked up at me and said, Read the rest of this entry