Recent conversation with a friend:
Me: I laugh at all these gaining-weight-due-to-quarantine memes, but then looked down at my stomach and thought, “Oh.”
I wondered where the tummy was coming from as I reached into the cupboard for my nightly potato chips…
Friend: You only live once.
Me: It will be a shorter life if I die in a pile of potato chip crumbs….
Me: Instead of flowers, people will bring Ruffles and Lays to my grave site.
Me: Ooooohhhh…. Can I just have that now??