You know your showers might be getting too long…

And you could be neglecting your children, when the toddler comes running into the bathroom, pulls back the curtain and yells,

Oh, you have to eventually replace those?

When I noticed my first-born walking strangely for several days in a row, I decided to take him to the doctor and have him checked out. The diagnosis?

Only at Walmart

A boneca de 10 mil reis do Dr Hollywood (Photo credit: Capitu)

After a night out with friends, I let my children stay up late because I still needed to drive the babysitter home. On the way back, we were about to pass a Walmart, when I remembered that we were going to a little girl’s birthday party the next day. If I didn’t stop in now, I wouldn’t have time to pick up a gift in the morning. Unfortunately, two of the kids were in pajamas and the third was wearing a swim suit! None of them had shoes on.

Lost in translation

Being from Chile, I’m not aware of all the American slang terms. It took me a long time to figure out why I got so many strange looks from other moms when talking about my son’s

She was clearly never a Boy Scout

I don’t even like carrying a purse, so a diaper bag was pretty much out of the question when I went to visit the parents of an old boyfriend with my newborn son. Naturally he decided to have a megapoop–out the sides of the diaper, all over himself, and me. I had nothing with me,

Better leave the fashion to the females.

One Sunday my husband was in charge of getting our sons ready for Mass and then meeting me at the church. When he arrived with the boys, it was quickly apparent that my husband is not as in tune with our children’s wardrobes as I am.

Always a silver lining

I had a lot of shopping to do and was hauling my son out of the car when I realized I should change his diaper. To save time I just pulled his pants down a little and slapped a diaper on him and hustled into the store.

It’s good to entertain the working man

One of my children’s favorite past-times is watching the garbage men pick up our trash. As it seems harmless enough, I let them sit on the front lawn and wait in eager anticipation for the big truck to arrive in front of our house while I keep an eye out from the living room window.

One particular day, the garbage man was more jovial to my children than usual.

Earth to mom: I’m right here!

My husband and I were making our way out of church one day when we lost a child. Well, I lost a child. Well, I THOUGHT I lost a child.

She’s just, uh, making sure this part of the parking lot is level.

Taking my children to the library, I’m certain, gets me out of Purgatory time. On one particular trip I took only the baby and my two and a half-year-old daughter. Going in and finding books in the kids section is never a problem. If I want to look for a movie in the adult section, I’m just asking for trouble. But leaving, now there’s a disaster waiting to happen.