As promised a week ago, my five-year-old did indeed put on her kitten underwear today in honor of my birthday. “Mom, I’m wearing my kitty-cat underwear! Do you want to see?” Of course my answer was yes, and she proudly revealed her bottom. My seven-year-old, feeling a bit sheepish for having heartlessly chosen underwear with little forethought to my special day said, Read the rest of this entry
My son loved dinosaur eggs. He had pictures of them in his room, and knew everything there was to know about them. The only problem was, he thought this information applied to all animals.
He was talking on the phone with my mother-in-law, explaining, matter of factly, “Mom has a big egg in her tummy right now. Dad gave her a seed to Read the rest of this entry
Some time after we’d finished lunch and left the table, my two year-old-daughter burped. A moment later I noticed her chewing something. “What are you chewing?” I asked. She paused, then chewed reflectively for a bit longer before answering, Read the rest of this entry
My six-year-old son was out sick from school for five days. His first day back, as he got off the school bus, the driver called to him, “Hey, Philip, where have you been?” Philip flipped his hand and said, Read the rest of this entry
It was nearly Christmas. I, like half my town, was standing in line at the post office holding several large packages. My children were standing with me. My mind was preoccupied wondering how much longer I could hold my boxes without dropping them and wishing there was a table nearby. So when my son said, “Mom, that woman has a big butt!” I didn’t really hear him. The woman ahead of me showed irritation, and I heard the man behind me chuckle. Nevertheless, without thinking, I asked my son to repeat what he had said, but to do it louder.
“That woman has a big butt!” he said again, this time with feeling. The woman threw a scowl over her shoulder, and the man behind me laughed even harder. Then my daughter suddenly felt musical. Read the rest of this entry
Whenever a guest comes to our house, our four-year-old always wants to show that person something. Usually, it’s “Come see my room!” or “Come look at the tree painted on the wall.” Read the rest of this entry
I was guest teaching a phonics lesson in my child’s kindergarten class when, as luck would have it, that day’s topic was the “uck” family. The objective was for the students to come up with and write down words Read the rest of this entry
We were at a store when my daughter asked me to buy her a piece of candy. I agreed, but she couldn’t decide which one she wanted. I finally insisted she pick one so we could leave. On the way out of the store she decided she had made the wrong choice and begged me to go back. When I refused, she told me that I was a terrible mom. I said “You’re 6 years old. What do you know about being a mom?” She said “Well, I’ve been watching you for six years now and I don’t really think you’re doing a very good job.” Anne, mother of 7
Sometimes things get a little “heated” around our house, and the kids can remind us in subtle ways to watch what we say: When my son was about 3 or 4 years old, I did something that apparently really bothered him. He squinted his eyes and shook his finger at me and told me “Get in your freakin’ room”. Anne, mother of 7
Most of the roses my husband gave me while we were dating are now dried and on display behind glass in the entertainment center. My oldest asked me why I had them. “Because they’re special to me,” I told her. “Why?” she asked. “Because your daddy gave them to me,” I replied. After a pause, she asked, “Did he give them to you dead?”