My younger two girls decided to dress as tourists, complete with hats, purses, and a camera. Interesting, I thought.
Then one gave me a bright smile and said, “We’re robbing a museum! We’ve got our ninja clothes on underneath.” She lifted her pant leg to show me her black pants. “We packed gloves to cover our fingerprints, and I’ve got ninja stars in my purse.”
The younger daughter pulled out a toy phone. “And I’ve got this to communicate with!”
They set toys up around the room to pretend to steal. Read the rest of this entry
When looking for a story to post this week, I checked my plethora of drafts where I’ve housed snippets of funny things to save for later.
So prepare yourself for a series disjointed stories while I clean up my draft folder. For instance: Read the rest of this entry
Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.
First of all, when and how did he learn this?!
I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”
Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”
Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.
Delicious looking plate of green beans. That I didn’t cook, hence looking delicious. Image by Vu DOAN from Pixabay
When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”
My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”
Joe said, “You can eat them then.”
Joe loves going outside. The problem is, Read the rest of this entry
Awful or awfully funny? You decide. Let me know in the comments.
We had guests over Sunday afternoon. One graciously explained to us about different phone plans. And providers. And phones themselves. And frequencies. And something about company buyouts. Plus a lot of numbers were being bandied about.
In other words, I was completely lost by about the third sentence. Maybe second.
Meanwhile, my children sat in the room with us listening patiently. Or so I thought.
When the dear fellow was finished downloading us with all this information, my youngest daughter said, “Finally. I wondered if he was breathing between words.”
I’m not sure if any of the adults in the room have laughed that hard in a long time.
Queen of spades courtesy of pixabay.
Except perhaps when we were playing the card game Tripoli and another daughter, not well-versed in the various suit names, laid down “the queen of hoes.”
After drying our eyes on our sleeves, we informed her that it is actually called the queen of spades.
Of course we try to teach our children manners.
Little Joe asked me for a bagel.
“Did you say, please?” I asked him pointedly. Read the rest of this entry
I like to share our toddler’s accomplishments with my husband when he gets home from work. Sometimes I do so with audience participation.
Me: Hey, Joe-Joe, who went poop on the potty today?
Me: That’s right! And then who peed on the rug and Momma’s foot?
Apparently we need to rehearse before putting on the show for Daddy.
We visited my parents at their new home in New Mexico. It was definitely spacious and went beyond the needs of two people. Nonetheless, my darling seven-year-old announced: “Our house is much bigger. When we get home, I’m going to be like, ‘Our house is so nice!'”
On a walk in my parents’ ‘hood. So incredibly peaceful and quiet here.
Another time she said, “These eggs are delicious, Nagy Mama.” (Hungarian for grandma)
“Why, thank you!”
“Because I like things that are burnt.”
The view from their front yard. I got to watch the sun setting on these hills every night. Gorgeous!
Read the rest of this entry
Aimee posted this about her son:
L: Mommy, after soccer season ends, can you sign me up for flag football?
Me: Sure boo.
L: And then when I get to be in fifth or sixth grade, can you sign me up for kids tackle football?
Me: Yes, we’ll see.
L: And then when I get grown up, can you sign me up for the NFL?
And Sara about her daughter: Read the rest of this entry
Step 1. Get water ready.
Step 2. Change and throw away poopy diaper.
Step 3. Return from depositing poopy diaper in diaper pail five feet away only to discover baby has pooped again ALREADY!
Step 4. Repeat steps 2-4, as needed.
Step 5. Remove baby’s clothing and carry to bathroom.
Step 6. Remove diaper, praying there’s no more poop in it. (If not, continue to step 7. If so, repeat steps 2–4, as needed.)
Step 7. Gently slide baby into bath water and begin bathing.
Step 8. Try not to show irritation as second youngest child enters room to “help.” Read the rest of this entry
So, Little Man is one month old today. That leaves two months of the so-called “fourth trimester.”
I get it. I remember when my last child was a baby repeating to myself, Just get to three months. Things will be better after three months.
I’ve also heard this time referred to as the 90 Days of Darkness.
There are good days and bad days. Likewise with the nights. The hard part is, it’s never the same from one day or night to the next. Of course, if they were all bad, I’d not like that much at all. The point is, Read the rest of this entry
My neighbor recently told me the story of when her husband was a boy, he saw his dad waxing his Porsche. Ever the helpful one, he decided to pitch in, only he didn’t grab a soft pad to wax with, he grabbed Read the rest of this entry