Betsy gets the boot.

So here’s what happened:

On January 9, I finally saw a specialist about the Jiu-Jitsu accident that happened September 29. He took one look at my foot and said, “You’ve got Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, which can happen after a surgery or trauma.”

According to Wikipedia: “CRPS is any of several painful conditions that are characterized by a continuing regional pain that is seemingly disproportionate in time or degree to the usual course of any known trauma or other lesion.”

In other words, I developed a condition that means taking a stupidly long time to heal.

Figures.

He knew it on sight from the discoloration of my foot. Brace yourselves, I’m including a pic.

…

Nope. Never mind. I looked at my feet again and decided I care about you too much to expose you to that. I’ll paint a picture instead:

One foot is purplish-red and kinda fat. The other is scrawny and white. I’m not sure which is scarier to behold.

So Doc says, “I’ve got to get you moving on it again. You should’ve been in a boot long before now. Let me guess, the previous doctor said stay off it, so you were a good patient and did just that?”

“Well, yeah. I didn’t want to make it worse. I thought it just needed more time to heal.”

“I’d rather you be out of the boot and in a shoe by now, but we’ve got to start with the boot regardless. Use crutches for a while. Then just one crutch until you can do without.”

He felt my right (good) calf then the left.

“That is really weak.”

Thanks, Doc.

“The rule of thumb is three days recovery to every one day of disuse, which means nine months before it’s back to full strength.”

Nine months horrified me (like I’d just accidentally glanced down at my foot, either one of them.) But after that initial shock, I thought, “I’ll do it in three!” Followed by, “Er… maybe.”

Well guess what, plural word that starts with a B, I used only one crutch on Day 1 and tossed it aside (not literally, but darn that would’ve been dramatic and awesome, until it knocked over a lamp) on Day 2.

Just over a week later, my calf has gotten bigger and stronger. It’s nearly the size of the right one ALREADY. However:

1. It’s not like my right leg was ever as muscular as an Olympic gymnast to begin with, but also,
2. This boot is large. It’s giving my left leg some great exercise.

Look at this monster. I feel like Robocop.

Something that would’ve been perfectly logical to ask the doctor is: how long until the pain and swelling go away completely? And yet I didn’t think to ask. He did say it would lessen as I used the foot, however. And it has.

As some of you suggested, I asked about a bone density scan. He said, “You could get one, but that’s more of a concern if you were just walking and your leg broke.” This wasn’t actually bone cracks, like Google told me a “bone bruise” was. This was actually trauma to the marrow. (Apparently you CAN’T believe everything you read on the internet. Who knew?!)

My recovery is finally looking good! Even if my foot isn’t. {Shudder.}

But what about the cat?!

Thank you for reading about me when what you really want to know is the answer to Sensei’s cat name from the previous post. I shall inform you thusly:

Me to Sensei: I’m so proud of my blog readers. I gave them options for names you gave your cat, and many of them guessed correctly and with such conviction like, “100% it’s Monkey,” and “Monkey. Final answer,” and “From what I know about this guy, it’s definitely Monkey.” I’m pleased I’ve characterized you well enough for them to know you that well.

Him: Do I get a link to this blog?

Me: No. I don’t want to create a monster like I did the last guy.

Him: I’m disappointed to hear there was a previous blog subject, but I’m glad you moved on to a more interesting star.

Just in case you can’t picture me rolling my eyes, this is what I looked like then.

And because of the talk of his cat, Monkey (Well done to those of you who guessed correctly!), he sent me this for your reading/viewing/his ego-building pleasure:

I’m sure he’s waiting eagerly to hear how y’all respond to that.

So I won’t tell him.

Thanks for reading, friends! If you need me, I’ll be practicing my Robocop impressions.