“I can’t believe this ends the Tale of the CMG! Sequel? prequel??”
“Oh, no! This can’t be the end! It can’t!”
“He’ll miss you. One day he will wake up and wonder ‘What ever happened to Crazy Chex Mix Lady?’”
And of course my favorite: “Who wouldn’t miss CCML??”
Since I hate to let you down, this happened… (Just remember that I do all of this for you, my dear Blog Buddies.)
Last week I loaded my cart, and, surprised to see CMG slumming it at the check stands with lowly riffraff customers, rather than in his ivory managerial tower, I headed to his lane. It was the express lane. There wasn’t an overtly posted sign about the item limit, though I knew whatever the limit was, I was over it.
I didn’t care. Normally I would care, but with this guy, I didn’t care.
I have zero doubt he knew I was standing there, but he made a point of ignoring me while he assisted the customer ahead of me. This older gentleman was waiting on a runner with a new box of whatever because the one he grabbed was somehow defective. Therefore, he was around to witness this:
CMG: “Excuse me, ma’am.”
Oh no he didn’t!
“You have too many items for the express lane.”
The older gentleman looks at my supply of food stuffs, nods, and says, “That is a lot of items.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I say, but CMG cuts in.
“You need to put some back.”
I stare at him.
He grabs my box of Wheat Thins and tosses it onto the floor by my cart.
I look at the crackers then back at him, thinking, “What the heck?!” I expect the older gentleman was thinking the same thing.
CMG goes to retrieve the crackers, but I say, exasperated, “I’m getting it,” and pick it up first.
The older gentleman, waving a finger between CMG and me says, “I’m starting to get the idea that you two know each other.”
Now he’s catching on. Thank goodness or CMG’s about to get his behind demoted.
“He’s actually a nice guy,” I say. “He’s just giving me a hard time.”
And so I check out as normal, but, of course, CMG asks if I need more Chex Mix, knowing I purchased a mere 11 bags the week before. I tell him I think I’m good for a while.
He says, “I think so too,” and probably adds a silent prayer that I’ll be good on Chex Mix for a looooooooong while.
So, even though no Chex Mix was harmed in the making of this story, the tales of CMG continue.
See the abuse I take for you? You’re welcome. And though I didn’t find the cracker incident funny at the time, whenever I thought back on it, I laughed out loud, which is what I’m sure CMG was going for.
Can you imagine the cashier throwing your box of crackers on the floor? What would you have done? I’d say complain to the manager, but well…