Apr16

Just to clarify…

Posted on April 16, 2019 by ParentingIsFunny

Have we run out of adjectives for shampoo?

My Kiwi-Lime Squeeze has been labeled “clarifying” shampoo.

So does that mean when I’m in public, my hair will convey to others, “Yes, this hair is clean. She lathered and rinsed, but just didn’t repeat”?

Or, “Yes, this is her natural color. I would know.”

Or, “Yes, she knows it’s frizzy, she just doesn’t care enough.”

Thanks for setting that straight, shampoo. It’s about time someone came up with a shampoo that could do this for us.

What are your thoughts on what “clarifying shampoo” might mean?

46 responses »

mothertherealist on April 16, 2019 at 7:05 pm said:

😀 My shampoo cracks me up more for listing all the ingredients by scientific name but having their common name in parentheses. Seems like it doubly defeats whatever purpose they have…

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 16, 2019 at 7:10 pm said:
  
  Ah, shampoo. At least it gives us a laugh. 🙂
  
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  - mothertherealist on April 16, 2019 at 7:13 pm said:
    
    Is it a clarifying laugh?
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 16, 2019 at 7:14 pm said:
    
    Ha! That was!
    
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ksbeth on April 16, 2019 at 7:23 pm said:

so funny

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 16, 2019 at 7:28 pm said:
  
  It struck me as being so.
  
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Chatter Master on April 17, 2019 at 2:46 am said:

Without knowing anything, because I know so very little, I always thought it meant it was cleaning without leaving anything behind (like thickeners or softeners…). But, I’ve already established I know very little.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 9:26 am said:
  
  That sounds like a far more logical guess than what I came up with.
  
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  - Chatter Master on April 17, 2019 at 6:18 pm said:
    
    Sadly I am often stuck in logic.
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 7:06 pm said:
    
    It can be hard to find one’s way out.
    
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  - Chatter Master on April 18, 2019 at 7:06 pm said:
    
    Word.
    
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Ally Bean on April 17, 2019 at 4:22 am said:

Now wait a minute… I use a specific clarifying shampoo in-between using my regular vague [?] shampoo. I like it for how it helps my curly/frizzy hair look better, but I also like the idea of something articulate floating around the outside of my head, perhaps sending clarity to my brain. 🙃

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 9:31 am said:
  
  Now THAT would be a great product!
  
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Julie Holmes, author on April 17, 2019 at 4:31 am said:

Ha! What I wonder, though, is why you started thinking about clarifying shampoo? Is it related to clarified butter? Or Clara Barton? Maybe it wanted to be a college professor, but couldn’t get the cleared throat thing down before instructing students to clarify their statements.

Or maybe the shower was your 10 minutes of time alone and what else is there to read in the shower? 😀

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 9:30 am said:
  
  Ah, shower thoughts! Who knows at this point. (throat clearing–hahahhaha!) I’d love to know your real shower thoughts if that’s what you come up with dry!
  
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D. Wallace Peach on April 17, 2019 at 6:57 am said:

I’d rather not have my shampoo clarifying anything for me. Could be embarrassing!

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 9:28 am said:
  
  Now that you mention it, you could be right. I’d better toss the rest of this.
  Or give it to my husband.
  
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  - D. Wallace Peach on April 18, 2019 at 5:51 am said:
    
    Ha ha ha. I feel a short story coming on. 🙂
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 18, 2019 at 9:42 am said:
    
    You would! You’re the flash fiction queen!
    
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Andrew Reynolds on April 17, 2019 at 7:18 am said:

hmmm, Is there a lying or obfuscating shampoo? I’d pay extra for a shampoo that said, “He’s only 35” or “He’s not turning grey, that’s just a little sun bleaching,” or “he likes it cut thin – he’s not going bald.”

I mean, I’d pay a lot extra…

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 9:28 am said:
  
  You should totally pitch that idea to VO5!
  
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  - Andrew Reynolds on April 17, 2019 at 10:42 am said:
    
    Okay, I’ll call them today!
    
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heylookawriterfellow on April 17, 2019 at 6:29 pm said:

I’m much more concerned about its tendency to herbally escape.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 17, 2019 at 7:07 pm said:
  
  Which is why I never use herbal essences. Don’t want it taking the essence of my herbs, either.
  
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Camie on April 18, 2019 at 7:32 am said:

Once my daughter’s college professor asked her what she’d like to do with her major (English with the emphasis on technical writing and communications) and she replied, “Write up the back of shampoo bottles.” Her professor said that was a new answer but she could very well do that. 😁 Then she could clarify what your shampoo actually does. 😉

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 18, 2019 at 9:44 am said:
  
  I wish she would. And what a creative answer. Did she mean it?
  
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  - Camie on April 18, 2019 at 9:46 am said:
    
    Yes, she did mean it! She loves the funny things that shampoo and water bottles, etc. can say she she’d love to have that job.
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 18, 2019 at 1:47 pm said:
    
    Fun. Good for her.
    
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Lucie on April 19, 2019 at 7:17 am said:

I learned awhile ago that my expensive “clarifying shampoo” could easily be replaced with baking soda and warm water. Silly me! 😁

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 19, 2019 at 9:36 am said:
  
  Wow. That’s simple. What is clarifying meant to mean, exactly? I still don’t know! No doubt I bought this because it was on sale. And also, LUCIE!!! Where you been???!?!?! So great to see you again!!!
  
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  - Lucie on April 19, 2019 at 1:50 pm said:
    
    I think,B, it is meant to be used when we have ” build up” on our hair i.e. when we have used the same shampoo too much and we get hair that lays limp….
    
    Thx for “missing me”…have been in a bit of a slump since my Mom passed away…not in the mood to write, read, or do much of anything. I walk alot and watch Netflix. Just feeling a little untethered these days..like a rudderless ship, if that makes any sense to you. I need to write, though. I think it would help.
    
    Hope u and the family have all been well, sweetheart. Happy Eastet!💕
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 19, 2019 at 2:01 pm said:
    
    Awh, Lucie. I’m so sorry. I know that’s gotta be rough. Yes, please do get back to writing. I’m sure it would help because it would enable you to reconnect with people again. Community helps us get through tough times, even if just an online community. Maybe there’s something local you can get involved in too. Volunteer at the library? That’s just the first thing that popped into my mind. There must be lots of volunteer opportunities that will help you find purpose. What’s something your mom would want you to do? Who could you help?
    
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  - Lucie on April 19, 2019 at 2:26 pm said:
    
    Yes, community does indeed help. I see friends, occasionally, and stay involved with church and the community, but find that some days my heart just isn’t what it used to be. Mom smiled every day and helped neighbors and family as much as she physically could…..I am s l o w l y doing the same. Hopefully, I’ll be out of my slump, soon…Hugs, Lucie
    
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  - ParentingIsFunny on April 19, 2019 at 2:49 pm said:
    
    I hope and pray you’ll be feeling better soon too. Hugs back atcha!
    
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Mark Petruska on April 19, 2019 at 2:06 pm said:

I’m more concerned with all these delicious flavors shampoo manufacturers are incorporating into their products. The first time I tried Fructis it smelled so much like a fruit salad, I legitimately licked my arm afterwards.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 19, 2019 at 2:47 pm said:
  
  Wow. You licked your arm. And did it taste nasty like soap, or was it actually a bit tasty? I don’t blame you. I can imagine how yummy that must smell.
  
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indianeskitchen on April 20, 2019 at 6:58 pm said:

I totally forgot about VO5 shampoo and conditioner! I use to buy it all the time.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 20, 2019 at 7:11 pm said:
  
  Well, if your hair needs clarifying, you know what to go back to. 😉
  
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  - indianeskitchen on April 20, 2019 at 7:16 pm said:
    
    Hahahaha Right! Happy Easter!
    
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Allison Alter (apprehensively expecting) on April 23, 2019 at 4:28 pm said:

I read that differently. Given that all of these hair products are a veritable fruit basket, they are “clarifying” it’s shampoo…because people might try to ingest them like detergent pods.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 23, 2019 at 6:05 pm said:
  
  Good call, Allison. Another commenter said his fruit-flavored gel or something smelled so good he literally tasted it. ;P
  
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Jacqui Murray on April 26, 2019 at 7:23 am said:

What the heck does that mean? I’m going to have to google it. I like Allison’s reasoning.

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 26, 2019 at 9:31 am said:
  
  There must be a logical explanation when the advertising team pitches this stuff.
  
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Khaya Ronkainen on April 27, 2019 at 2:50 am said:

I might not know what “clarifying shampoo” mean but I’ve immensely enjoyed your story over at Diana’s blog. Thank you for the laughs! 🙂

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- ParentingIsFunny on April 27, 2019 at 9:21 am said:
  
  Diana wrote that story, inspired by my shampoo. I still have to run over there and read it! Thanks so much for stopping by over here too!
  
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