Not me. So very not me.
We spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws. Last year I brought a pumpkin pie. In the past I’ve made the crust from scratch, but that time I decided to go store-bought.
Why do frozen pie crusts always come in packs of two?
So I made up the pie mixture with pumpkin from our jack-o-lanterns. (A friend asked, “Were they cooking pumpkins?” “Uum, no…? But they’ve always worked before.”) I poured it into the frozen crust.
Apparently you’re supposed to pre-bake the crust before you bake it as a pie?!
The inside of the pie was done, but the crust was hard and raw.
Soon after, on my daughter’s birthday, I decided to make up for my pie debacle by inviting the in-laws over for my famous lemon bars, and, since I still had another frozen pie crust, I made a chocolate cream pie. THIS time, I precooked the crust. With everyone present I loudly declared, “Now that’s a well-cooked pie crust!”
Only it wasn’t. Though I don’t know why. That wasn’t the real problem, however. The recipe called for baker’s chocolate. Why do baker’s use such bitter chocolate?! Whatever amount of sugar I added wasn’t enough. The whole pie was terrible. I spotted my husband scooping extra whipped cream onto our guests’ plates with an apologetic, “Here.” He spoke the rest with his eyes: “This will help.”
And my famous lemon bars didn’t set and were therefore a gooey, runny mess.
When I told my mom all this Thanksgiving morning, she laughed so hard I thought she might pass out.
“Today will be different!” I said. Unlike the last two times I’ve made pumpkin pie, I remembered to buy the evaporated milk in advance. I even announced to my husband, “I remembered the milk! I won’t have to send you to the store last minute! Third time’s the charm.”
But, of course, it wasn’t.
To be continued…