More husbandisms

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At 10:00 on Sunday mornings, the kids are supposed to get ready for church. My husband said to them, “Girls, it’s 10:00.”

No movement.

“You need to tell them what that means,” I said.

“Girls, it’s 10:00, which means the short hand is on the 10 and the long hand is on the 12.”

~~~

Husband and I recently got to drive alone in our little red car instead of having to take the big van. IΒ  was delighted to be in my old car again. I lovingly stroked the dash and reminded him, “This car is older than our marriage.”

“And fairing better, too,” he said.

~~~

This one is not a husbandism, at least not mine or any who would like to live to see another day. Since my husband cuts my hair for me, (I know, weird, right?) this would only be insulting himself.

crying

I would love to know if anyone tries this and it works. I mean, it could potentially make someone laugh. Or make them cry harder. Or make them stop crying in order to sock you in the face.

Which would you do if someone said this to you?

Have you ever cried over a haircut?

Is my husband funny, or what?

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65 responses »

    • I am working on a parenting book. There will doubtlessly be excerpts from this blog in there. The thought of stand-up makes me shudder. When I gave that talk in D.C. back in Feb, I got some good laughs, though. That crowd wasn’t drinking and heckling was discouraged, so that helped.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. LOL! Yep, I consider your husband humorous, especially about explaining what 10 o’clock means. What did the girls do? Any snarky comebacks? Not sure about the car, though. I think I’d take exception to that one πŸ˜‰ And I cut my husband’s hair, mostly because it’s super-easy: just shave it to about a half-inch in height. I’d be super-careful about saying that to a teenager, tho’. Seriously. πŸ™‚

    Have a great week!

    Liked by 2 people

    • No snarky comebacks from the kids. They don’t know the meaning of those words, fortunately. The car one I wasn’t sure would translate to readers, but I definitely laughed out loud and congratulated him on that one. I used to cut my husband’s hair but it was a chore, so now he does it himself and I just clip any stray hairs he missed. Oh, yeah, teasing a teenager, girl in particular, would not happen. But still that sucker made me LOL. You have a great week, too, Julie!

      Like

    • Yikes! Thank goodness it grows back. Of course, when you’re told that at the time, it’s not much of a consolation, I know. I’ve been there too. It just takes way too long to grow back and you’re stuck with it in the meantime. Time to go shopping for some cute hats! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your husband IS funny. Thankfully! And I haven’t cried over a hair cut but I have cringed. If I was crying and someone asked if it was because of my haircut I would laugh. Because I’ve had some worthy of crying over and didn’t or because whatever is going on that is making me cry obviously will not be as funny as that question.

    I got the car/marriage humor. I would have high-fived him. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Once again all I can think is that our other halves would get along instantly. He too has embraced the dad joke in all its forms, which is what I thought of reading the first example.

    I’ve never cried over a haircut. There is no point. My hair is like a chia pet. Add a little water and poof it grows. Bad haircuts disappear into my frizz just as quickly as the good ones do.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. To vikingspaul: that was scary, meeting a guy who was already engaged to our daughter. Probably as scary as meeting future in-laws for first time. Well, not me, of course. I’m the nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Heck, yeah!!!!! I was wack-o last week ‘cuz I looked like a squirrel! The Princess had to give me a trim. Now I look like a raccoon. I just hate it when I get bad hair cuts. Absolutely drives me over the deep end! :>)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a mop of curly hair that doesn’t get cut often because…kids, and has NEVER been styled by a professional because…I dunno…I have curly hair and never bothered. Seriously, what did people do before the gel era? I wash and walk away…consequently, when someone points out that I, in fact, harbor a mop looking to welcome a young bird family, it doesn’t rub quite so raw.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I haven’t cried because of a haircut but I should have.. I had a friend cutting my fringe once and I ended up looking like the blond one in Beavis and butthead (felt like butthead would be the right name). But I was just like Oh whatever I can freakin see it, can I , so it’s other people’s problem. Just avoid mirrors… πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Another husbandism | parentingisfunny

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