An article of sorts

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I don’t write on here much about getting articles published now and then or that I did my 20th radio interview this morning, but I thought I’d share this little tidbit of an article with you. For National Marriage Week, Feb 7-14, our publisher asked all their marriage authors to answer the question: What is a marriage lesson you’ve learned, and what story illustrates this?

What I sent back was brief, so it was turned into a short article to flesh it out. I thought I’d share because it’s a funny story, and it teaches a decent lesson on making marriage work. Have a read!

Always Keep a Sense of Humor

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While they probably won’t admit it, every married person holds on to some little things that annoy them about their spouse. It may be the way the other person brushes their teeth, or makes the bed, or chews their food. It is always something minor, yet irritating that can turn into something very annoying.

Betsy Kerekes, author of 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage, learned a valuable lesson when it comes to these little annoyances.

“Keep a sense of humor,” she says, “and let minor things go.”

Betsy’s husband loves their kids. He wants them to be safe and make good choices. Like any parent, he tries to stop the kids when they are doing something wrong.

When he sees them doing something wrong, though, he would say “Stop! Stop! Stop!” three times. Always three times. He did this repeatedly.

This started to bug Betsy to the point that she confronted him saying, “When the kids are doing something wrong, you can just say ‘stop’ one time! You don’t really have to repeat it over and over.”

Now, this confrontation might have led to a fight for a lot of couples. He could have gotten defensive, even angry.

Instead, though, he responded, “Okay . . . okay, okay, okay.”

They both laughed.

“I love his ability to keep things light-hearted,” Betsy said about the event.

It didn’t take long for Betsy to realize that her husband was having a hard time breaking his triple (or even quadruple) stop admonition. She realized, though, that instead of being annoyed, she should just let it go. He clearly couldn’t help it and what was the big deal, anyway?

Now, whenever that triple “stop” comes out again, she is reminded of their little joke instead. She smiles now rather than being annoyed because she’s able to keep a sense of humor about the situation. There’s no reason to turn it into a conflict because now they have a little inside joke to make each other smile.

“Little things are not worth getting upset over,” Betsy said, “and a sense of humor goes a long way to marital harmony.”

Full article found here.

What marital advice would you give, dear readers?

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30 responses »

  1. 20th radio interview? 20th? Is there any way I can listen to it after the fact? Congratulations (and congratulations on the article too). You’re husband and I would get along just fine as I also have to repeat things like stop several times, although in my case it has a lot to do with the fact that my boys must have inherited selective listening skills from their dad.

    Like

    • I’ve been wondering if I should expand the purpose of my blog to more of a website that included articles and radio shows. Any thoughts on that? (And I know–20th?! I almost wrote an ! in () when I typed that, but I thought maybe I should play it cool like it was no big deal. People who know me, know I’m freaking out on the inside.
      Learning selective listening skills is a child’s birthright, I’m sure. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I always say there are three keys to a successful marriage: respect, trust, and a sense of humor. So I agree with you 100%. We have to let the little things go, even if they grate on our nerves.

    Congrats on the 20th radio interview! Wowsa!

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  3. As I was reading this, my husband was sitting beside me noisily chewing his pretzels. I’m sending ALL kinds of love his way right now.

    My husband and I always end up bringing humor into situations that have the potential to become confrontational. I grew up in a household full of arguments and yelling, but I can honestly say that my husband and I have never yelled at each other. We have never had a fight. We have used communication, humor and empathy to work through whatever issues arise.

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  4. Great article and great advice! And a good reminder that I really need to find something humorous about my husband’s propensity for licking out the cottage cheese/chili bean/soup/mac and cheese/etc container with the associated lip-smacking. *searching for humor* Yeah….gotta work on that one. 🙂

    I’ll just play with my temperamental cat for a while. That’s always fun 😀

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    • Ugh. Jealous. Not about the husband thing. You just had to throw your cat in my face… AGAIN! 😉
      Maybe you should let your cat lick out all those items before your husband can. Then maybe your cat would be less temperamental. See how good I am at this advice stuff? Next book: 101 Tips for a Happier Relationship with your Pet!

      Like

  5. Yes. Yes. Yes and again, yes. Humor is so important in relationships, period. I remember an incident years ago with one of my more stubborn, ornery students who was such a pain in the butt and so mean to me and all the students…well, one day, Miss Snaggle-puss looked at me with that scrunched-up, ugly mug of hers and started to say something mean, when I just broke down and started laughing….she looked at me totally shocked and then started laughing herself. Was a great lesson for a beginning teacher, let me tell you! ;)p

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  6. I still remember that moment in my marriage when I discovered the power of a sense of humor. Husband and I were have a difficult discussion, couldn’t agree, had nothing else to say that was new, and I simply started to laugh. At nothing or anything. It defused everything and we moved on. I’ve done that ever since.

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  7. Such good advice, because the little things do appear in any marriage. I try to remember that for every little thing my husband does that drives me crazy, I so something that is equally annoying to him, difficult to believe as that may be!

    Like

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