First the doorbell rang

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And I was quite annoyed since whoever it was probably wasn’t heeding my semi-miraculous “No soliciting” sign. (Miraculous when it works.)

Since I still haven’t managed to train my puppies not to run at bark at the doorbell, they called, “There’s someone here, Mom!” as though I didn’t already know from the doorbell.

So much for hiding until they leave.

“Is it someone you know?” I always ask them.

“No,” they said.

At that point, since only a deaf person would believe no one was home, I peeked out the window. I’ve been known to brazenly ignore salesmen even when I know full well they know we’re home. I even walked openly past the window once, until the dude, after several rings, finally took the hint and left.

Not my finest moment.

Or was it?

But when I peeked this time, I knew I had to open the door. There was a cop, with the cop car in the driveway just to confirm.

police-officer

Hellooooooooooo, officer! (Sorry, hon. Couldn’t resist.)

I opened the door and greeted him with, “This can’t be good.”

He didn’t flinch, but he looked a bit sad, which made me nervous. Was this the visit I always feared? Did I need to shoo my children to their rooms and tell them to shut the door? (In other scenarios I tell them to run out the back door, hop the fence and high-tail it to a neighbor’s house. But not this scenario.)

He checked his clip board. “Do you know a Roger Jones?” (Not the real name.)

“I’ve never heard of that person,” I said, looking him in the eye and feeling inexplicably guilty. I HAD never heard of him, but I couldn’t help worrying that my discomfort made me look like I was lying, kind of like at church when your pastor decries some evil and you shuffle in your seat even though you know full well you’re innocent.

“May I ask how long you’ve been at this address?”

“Five years.”

“Hmm.” He checks his paper again. Apparently that didn’t add up.

Are my armpits sweating? Why am I sweating?

Then he tells me that Roger was involved in a hit and run. (Shame! Shame on you, Roger!) And this was the address listed.

I screw my lips to the side. “No, that can’t be right.”

He seems to believe me. Phew! He puts a hand up as if to say, Thanks for your time.

I say, “So my husband didn’t die in a car accident?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “No, you’re fine.”

“Okay,” I breathe. “Good luck,” I tell him, but I don’t feel truly settled until he drives away five minutes later.

When I relayed this story to my husband and got to the part when the cop said my husband was fine, the hubs said, “Did you add, ‘Good because my husband’s name is Roger’?”

I laughed. “No, but that would’ve been hilarious!”

He said, “I’m sure the cop wouldn’t have thought so.”

Good thing I didn’t think of saying that. I might’ve been tempted.

Have cops ever showed up at your door? What happened? Nothing horrible, I hope.

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29 responses »

  1. Reminds me of the time I got a call at work from an insurance representative who started the call with, “… have you spoken to your spoken to your husband recently?” Immediately my mind jumped to the worse. “Not since this morning! What? Did something happen?”

    The man laughed, assuring me that no, everything as far as he knew was quite okay, however, nice segue, he wanted to discuss our life insurance…

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  2. Our neighbor got a new girlfriend and apparently her ex is psycho and threw a brick through his window. Cop knocks on the door to ask if we witnessed anything in the midst of one baby screaming, a half naked toddler running circles around the table, and both dogs barking. Cop couldn’t leave fast enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A few years ago we had a neighbor play loud music, very loud, so I called the police. Then my 3 year old grandson tipped his chair back and sent it flying through the sliding glass door. I and my daughter took the little guy to the urgent care to get stitches (he’d cut his head). My wife called the insurance company and they sent out a crew to board up the window.

    When we returned from the clinic, there was a crew in the backyard cutting boards, drilling and generally making noise – it was about 9:00 pm. At that moment a cop knocked on the front and said, “We received a call of excessive noise.”

    I then frantically started try to explain to the officer about the problems we were having and why we were making so much noise at my house. Near the end of this explanation I remembered that it was me who had called the police and they had just took three hours to send and officer. I then explained about my earlier call – you could still hear the loud music/party from three doors down. The officer was nice and left saying, “Sir, you go take care of your family, I’ll deal with the neighbor.”

    By ten the neighborhood was quite, the kids in bed and I was looking to see if they left any beer for me.

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    • Oh, yeah. Having a teen driver would freak me out in more ways than one. Since you have a teen, I can ask you this. Do teens know what a Polaroid camera is? (It’s mentioned in my novel. I may have to take it out.)

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  4. I was outside working in the yard/on the house. Husband and I were a sweaty mess. I look up and there’s a police officer walking through our yard right to us. He starts talking to us like we had been involved in an accident. I told him no, we hadn’t. My husband steps forward…..why yes, yes he had. Just that morning while running an errand he had stopped at a convenience store. There had been a meeting of 2 cars…..but they had just each dismissed it because there was no damage. Until the other one later called the police. Someone must have thought there was some $ to be made….. Nothing came of it.

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  5. Oh you’re wicked funny! glad all is ok 🙂
    we only had one event, where our neighbor’s kid dialed 911 and hung up. turns out they don’t take kindly to garbled screams followed by a swift click. police can pinpoint the call to within two houses, so they started with ours. found out later the two year old was squealing with delight at mommy’s new phone, not so lol.

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  6. Actually, not just “show up”, but open up my front door, run in, look around and then realize he was in the wrong house! I watcjed the whole scenario play out while on my knees in my front garden!🙄

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  7. I would totally freak out and assume the worst if a cop showed up at my front door. It’s never happened to me, BUT years ago (like decades) when I was a young adult, one night there was a chase through my parents yard. Everyone was sleeping and then woke up to see that at least one cop car had driven through the yard, and then they got out of their car and began chasing on foot. The cops wrestled the “bad guy” down in my parents yard and took him away. Quite a lot of excitement considering that my parents live out in the country in a pretty tame area. And no, it wasn’t anyone we knew.

    On another day, only a couple years ago, a cop car tried to turn around in my parents driveway (I guess trying to turn around to go after someone who was speeding or something). Anyway, he misjudged where he was in the driveway and ended up getting stuck in the ditch. He had to call a tow truck to get out. The poor cop. My dad thought it was so funny he kept taking pictures so he could share with his kids about what happened. Dad kept telling the cop, “Oh don’t worry. I won’t put any of these on those social media sites!” I saw the pictures later and could tell the cop was trying to hide from the camera. And, yes, Dad and I had a talk about why taking pictures was totally inappropriate. That poor guy.

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    • That poor cop, the second one! How embarrassing! He probably thought he was the poop, turning all quick like. Ah, dear. And wow, about the first story. Glad they didn’t drive through a fence or something. Hope the yard was okay. Thanks for sharing! Fun stories!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. How eerie! I hope there isn’t any follow up. I had a neighbor you had a police officer visit her and he took her to the Big House with her four year old in tow because of parking tickets! Make sure you pay your parking tickets!

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