Today my Facebook memory brought up this picture of my mom and me at a wedding four years ago. I labeled it, “Having a drink with the woman who taught me how.”
My mom happened to call today and tell me about tripping on the front porch stairs and landing on her hand. My dad brought her ice to help with the swelling. When that melted she asked for more. He informed her, “If I give you more ice, there won’t be enough for your gin and tonic.”
She said, “Never mind. The hand is fine.”
I sometimes joke with people that I was weaned on alcohol. It’s probably not too far from the truth. My mom told me once she was at work and on the phone with my sister. She got a nasty look from the woman across from her for telling my sister to rub whiskey on her teething baby’s gums. It’s totally what she did with us. One can’t help but wonder if she was correctly diagnosing the cause of our crying.
But my favorite mom and alcohol story was when my parents were visiting. We were having company that evening so my mom declined her before-dinner cocktail saying she’d have her wine with dinner but wanted to have a drink with the guests too. I asked the logical question of why she couldn’t do both.
You might think her answer was that she couldn’t hold three drinks, but oh no, not my mother. She responded, “Because it’s Lent and I can only have two drinks during Lent.”
Yes, folks. That was her big Lenten sacrifice: not imbibing more than twice a night.
Now let me be clear that my mother is no where near an alcoholic. If she were, I wouldn’t be joking about it. She’s just of that generation where you have a cocktail and then wine with dinner. I, on the other hand, rarely drink because I frankly don’t care. When my parents visit, declining drinks is looked upon with disdain. I always sleep well on the nights they’re in town.
I love my mom. She’s a treasure, and everyone who meets her agrees.
Okay, Mom. If you happen to read this, don’t get a swollen head. There may not be enough ice for it.
Make sense to me, either ice on the hand or ice in the drink. Either would deal with the pain just fine. But I am sure that the lent limit is 3 drinks. You should check on that…
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Don’t tell her that!
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I’ve met your mother, and I agree she’s a treasure! What a nice woman to stop by my book signing. By the way, I have some mighty big sunglasses too. My sons tell me I look like a fly in them.
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Ha. Leave it to your sons to be brutally honest. Better for our eyes, though, right?
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Definitely. And more protection for the skin around the eyes too!
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Totally worth being a fly then. My husband’s not overly fond of the big glasses, either, but I’ll wear them until they break. My shades used to break quite frequently when my kids were littler. These I’ve had for years and can’t seem to get rid of them!
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Same here. I have a pair I bought in Chicago 12 years ago, and they’re still going strong. Bug-eyed or not, I don’t care!
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Sing it, sister! đŸ™‚ BTW, when are you going to invite me to the new condo? đŸ˜‰
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Hehehe, hahaha, hehehe. (Scampering away now…)
By the way, since we’re moving and have so many people coming by for last minute repairs and such, I always have to answer my doorbell now. (Ugh.) This morning I answered it only to get solicited by salespeople. The good girl in me was polite, but the introvert in me was saying, “Nooooooo, why did I answer it?” Needless to say, I moved them on their way quickly.
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Ugh indeed! How dare a salesman come and fool you! That’s annoying for sure. I’m glad you were able to be kind. I’m telling you, “No soliciting” signs are magic. And when we lived in a condo, the solicitors were legion! (Particularly the kids selling magazine subscriptions. Man, they were annoying.)
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I was going to put one up like you said, but now we’re moving soon so I never picked one up. Hopefully they’re less likely to solicit at the new place. Guess I’ll soon find out.
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Yep, and when you do, think of me! đŸ™‚
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Beautiful!!!! So humor is genetic in your family? đŸ™‚
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Humor in the sense of being funny but not realizing it? Yes. Though sometimes we’re making people laugh AT us. But then we join in.
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AND appreciating humor! I think that is a wonderful gift. I don’t always do well at creating humor but oh my gosh I love it!
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Who doesn’t love a good laugh? It makes the world go round.
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…..and much happier at that! đŸ˜‰
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Which reminds me… I have a picture I need to remember to post for you! If I take too long, remind me!
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Okay, is it too soon to remind you? đŸ™‚
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Haha. A bit. Patience!
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Your mom sounds like she’s loads of fun! And BTW, the seventies called–they want their sunglasses back đŸ˜€ (jk)
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Haha! I think big glasses were very in just recently. They might be out again, but oh well. I’ve never been one to be on the rising trends of fashion. And that dress I’m wearing? I bought it in college. I call it my wedding dress because I’ve worn it to pretty much every wedding I’ve been to (besides my own) because it doesn’t wrinkle and therefore travels well. In my opinion, it will never go out of style. Or people I know just have to stop getting married!
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Your mom sounds like a hoot! I am sure she didn’t really care all that much regarding her co-worker’s opinion, but my parents also recommended whiskey on the gums of a teething baby. I never tried it myself, but they swear I turned out just fine.
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She is a hoot. A worse story regarding her and a coworker was when her deskmate was very pregnant, my mom said, “I’ll bet you feel like a beached whale, don’t you?” What she didn’t saw was, “When I was as pregnant as you are, I felt like a beached whale.” It took my mom a while to realize why the woman stopped talking to her.
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Some people are just so sensitive about that sort of thing. đŸ™‚
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Haha. I know! Wusses! đŸ˜‰
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That was the era, wasn’t it? I’m that time (of your mom), but alcohol puts me to sleep. My sister, though, loved it. My kids are making their own decisions.
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Both my older siblings like alcohol, but my dad would often offer me a drink before I was legal because I was the only one who didn’t show an interest in it.
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I got the whiskey on the gums too, applied by an actual doctor (Daddy). He also started me on Coca-Cola (mixed with the milk in my ba-ba).
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Wow. Coca-cola in the bottle. That was a health fad back in the day wasn’t it? Crazy.
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And I’m still “hooked”. And no, Pepsi is not acceptable as a substitute!
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I don’t usually drink either, but if I had to choose, Coke for sure.
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Your mum sounds awesome! My mum used to give me a small shot of brandy if I was sick as a child (which wasn’t often). Now days people would scoff at the the idea, but it worked! đŸ˜€
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Wow, it really worked? Someone tried that with me once with scotch, telling me how in olden times it was called aqua vida because it “cured” you. It made me feel so much worse!
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Haaaa – they were only very small nips đŸ˜‰
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I wonder how that helped, or if it really did help. Perhaps as a pain killer! đŸ™‚
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Funny stories. The gin and tonic ice cube one cracked me up!
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That’s my mother for you.
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You are hilirious .. the exact mix I was searching to read now!
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I’m so glad! That’s what this blog is for! Good laughs after a long day.
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Good humor… Hungarian connection … BeszĂ©l vagy Ăr magyarul?
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How did you catch the Hungarian connection? Was it my last name?
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I did read this, bets. Your quotes are funny but that picture is horrible! I drink so that I can’t see myself clearly. Just my little dieting tip..
Love
Mom
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